THE RETURN OF SWAMP THING Blu-ray Review – After Watching This You’ll Want To Drain The Swamp, Too
Anthony Arrigo
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Starring Dick Durock, Heather Locklear, Louis Jordan, Sarah Douglas
Directed by Jim Wynorski
Distributed by MVD Visual/MVD Rewind Collection #5
Wes Craven’s Swamp Thing (1982) is by no means a masterpiece; it is rarely, if ever, mentioned among his best works. But the film set a moderately grim tone and managed to avoid leaning into the absurdity of a plant-based man defending the swamps against a sinister scientist and his concocted creations. Playing up the obvious could have made the film a wacky disaster, which is more or less how I’d describe The Return of Swamp Thing (1989). This is a tonal shift on the level of C.H.U.D. (1984) and C.H.U.D. II: Bud the C.H.U.D. (1989) – and it’s unarguably the same shift in quality, too. The most frustrating thing about Return is there are strong elements in play – production design, make-up effects, returning cast, Heather Locklear in her prime – but the overuse of comedy – or, should I say, attempts at comedy – overwhelm and smother the positive aspects like a wet mossy blanket.
A decent-but-campy opening sequence sees Swamp Thing (Dick Durock, returning physically but not vocally) defend a group of stereotypical redneck hunters from an elephant-anteater-hosebeast recently escaped from the laboratory of Dr. Arcane (Louis Jordan). Before you say, ”Wasn’t he killed in the last movie?” let me say yes, yes he was. We are then introduced by Abby Arcane (Heather Locklear), the plant-loving step-daughter of the formerly-late doctor. Abby heads down to the swamps of Florida to visit dear old step-dad after the strange death of her mother. There, Dr. Arcane puts on an altruistic front for his daughter while, secretly, he and his right hand, Dr. Lana Zurrell (Sarah Douglas), are experimenting on a rejuvenation formula and creating bizarre human/animal hybrid creatures. One night, Abby heads out on a swamp stroll and is nearly raped by some rednecks before being saved by Swamp Thing, who takes her back to his (lily?) pad and explains his entire life story.
After spending around a grand total of six or seven hours together, Abby eventually comes to declare Swamp Thing as her boyfriend (yes, this is as awkward on screen as it sounds) but their union is interrupted when Dr. Arcane decides he needs Abby’s blood to help make his serum, or something like that. Look, I’m going to be honest here there is a subplot involving two young boys that is on a whole new level of stupid and their inclusion ground my interest in this film down to little more than keeping my eyes open and waiting for the end credits to release me from this hell. Plus, the finale, for all this build up, explodes with the ferocity of a muffled fart. Although, there is a decent knock-down drag-out brawl between Swamp Thing and a big-headed creature. Still, Swamp Thing deserved better.
First off, who made the decision to dub over Dick Durock’s voice in post? Swamp Thing had the voice of a man saddled by purpose, weary yet resilient. Here, he sounds like a spokesman for car insurance or a well-mannered robot. Too bad because the suit Durock wears here looks far better than the first time around. Swamp Thing looks like he’s been absorbing all sorts of vegetation and swamp goop for the past seven years; he’s less latex-y. Because the film employed a roster of clearly talented FX artists, the beasts stowed away in Arcane’s basement are wildly unique and well sculpted. There should have been more action involving any one of these creatures than a single minute more of that fat redheaded kid and his dumb little buddy. Swamp Thing is a dark character and his films should embrace that, rather than trying to go the complete opposite, wrong direction because the result is a movie that at times borders on unwatchable.
Heather Locklear deserves credit for committing to her part, though. Abby is full of pep and positive vibes, the complete antithesis of her step-dad. Half of her dialogue is the stuff of cringe yet she delivers it all with the same level of conviction and that trademark beaming smile.
You know how a great score can elevate a bad film? Chuck Cirino deserves a swampful of credit for his delightful keyboard score, filled with leitmotifs and triumphant themes that both support and elevate the film’s maxed-out camp factor.
The 1.85:1 1080p image has been culled from a new 2K restoration and the results are rather strong for such a cinematic turkey. The opening looks a bit iffy but once the film really gets underway sights immediately improve. Colors are natural, showing plenty of pop during daylight scenes, where the best examples of definition are shown, too. The print is in fine shape, with no major damage to be seen. Fine detail varies but for the most part is evident.
English DTS-HD MA audio options are available in 2.0 stereo or 5.1 surround sound. The multi-channel is the way to go because, as mentioned, you’re gonna want Chuck Cirino’s score pumping electronic ecological vibes from every available speaker. Dialogue is easy to understand and there is no hissing, but the ADR work is obvious, some voices sound a bit pitched, and, again, Dick Durock’s voice dub sounds so lame. There are no subtitles included on this release.
There are plenty of bonus features, though, beginning with two audio commentary tracks. The first features Director Jim Wynorski, Composer Chuck Cirino, and Leslie Rosenthal.; the second is a 2003 solo track with Wynorski.
Also included are newly recorded interviews with Jim Wynorski, Arnie Holland, Chuck Cirino, and Leslie Rosenthal.
The archival extras are usually my favorite, with this disc featuring a Behind-the-Scenes Slideshow, two wonderfully dated Public Service Announcements, two TV Spots, six Promotional TV Clips, and a rad 1989 Promo Reel.
Additionally, this attractive little package includes a mini-poster, reversible cover art, faux rental store slipcover, and a DVD copy of the feature film. I love the attention to retro detail MVD Rewind puts in their releases; each release feels like opening up a treasured part of my past, whether or not I love the film. It’s a great line fans should support.
Special Features:
- BRAND NEW 2K REMASTER of the film
- Original 2.0 and 5.1 Stereo Audio (Uncompressed PCM on the Blu-ray)
- NEW Audio commentary from Director Jim Wynorski, Composer Chuck Cirino and Editor Leslie Rosenthal
- NEW Interview with Director Jim Wynorski (HD)
- NEW Interview with Editor Leslie Rosenthal (HD)
- NEW Interview with Composer Chuck Cirino (HD)
- NEW Interview with Lightyear Entertainment Executive Arnie Holland (HD)
- Audio commentary from Director Jim Wynorski (from 2003)
- Original Theatrical Trailer (New HD Transfer from original 35mm materials)
- 6 Promotional TV Clips (SD)
- 2 TV Spots (SD)
- 2 Greenpeace Public Service Announcements (SD)
- 1989 Promo Reel (SD)
- Photo Gallery (accompanied by Chuck Cirino’s film’s score)
- Collectible Mini- Poster
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The Return of Swamp Thing
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Special Features
Summary
Despite the appearance of strong elements Return is so frustratingly stupid at times it defies logic. For every great bit of creature action or swamp-y production design, there is an annoying child or endless string of bad puns to remind you why this film is largely forgotten. It’s not a total slog but, man, mistakes were definitely made.
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