The Seen and The Unseen is now sounding the alarm! We’ve begun sharpening our axes, loading our guns, and taking practice swings with our baseball bat. If you read this column (if you don’t, why not? Don’t you like us?), we want you to be prepared!
Why, you ask? The zombie invasion began in Britain a few days ago.
According to the BBC, officials pulled what they thought was a dead body from the River Trent in Nottinghamshire, England. When they got to the body and pulled her on to shore, the unidentified (see, ZOMBIE!) seventy-year-old woman opened her eyes. According to one Constable, “She had the most piercing blue eyes he’d ever seen.”
Supposedly, the woman is resting in an England hospital and doing quite well. No one reported any moaning or biting during her recovery.
We, the crack journalists at Dread Central, know better. The end has begun. Get your ammo ready. Protect the kids. It’s time to put those hours of shooting zombies on your Xbox 360 to work.
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