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The Seen and The Unseen: China Has the Body of an Alien on Ice

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The Seen and The Unseen: China Has the Body of an Alien on IceFirst our currency and now our conspiracy theories? Come on, Chinese, leave us something in the world already! Americans are a proud group of people. We invented Freedom (Dread Central does not condone this historical research), the Hot Dog and the Jersey Shore.

Even more important, we invented the Alien Conspiracy Theory starting with the whole Roswell crash thing.

The Chinese, in their attempt to rule the world, are trying to steal that from us. They want to become the alien conspiracy capital of the world.

In this post from UFO Sightings Daily, we are told the Chinese have a dead alien in their possession. How did they get it? According to the article, aliens tried to steal a man’s bicycle.

The man defended himself by throwing rocks. As the aliens ran, one of them ran into an electric fence (insert waa waaaa here). It died, or rather maybe “she” died? Anyway, as you might guess, when Chinese officials arrived to take away the body, they told the man not to talk about the incident.

Now, the best way to ensure people will talk about something is to tell them “not” to talk about something. Right? So, obviously, the Chinese government wanted the man to talk about it because they wanted to beat America at its alien conspiracy game. Come on, Americans, wake up and start sharing your alien conspiracy theories.

China Alien

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Jonathan Ryan

  • kiddcapone

    That gives me a new idea for a band name: Alien Camel Toe.

    • nazo

      Nah, Extraterrestrial. E(c)T for short.

  • DavidFullam

    Yeah. Right. At least he was original enough to make it somewhat female.

  • LSD Zombie

    That alien has a nice pussy!

    • Jonathan Ryan

      Yeah, er, debated on whether to contribute to the wide spread alien porn problem on a family horror site. Cough….

      • The Woman In Black

        Family site? You do know whom you’re writing for, right? LOL

        • Jonathan Ryan

          Sarcasm, my dear Woman in Black….sarcasm….. :P

      • Terminal

        Oh great, another G rated DC contributor. Siiiiiiiigh…

        • Jonathan Ryan

          I think you turned off your sarcasm detector, Terminal.

          • Terminal

            It’s on the fritz.

          • Jonathan Ryan

            I think there is a cream for that…..

          • Terminal

            Great band.

  • MonsterMash

    That looks fake as shit. Especially in the eyes.