Like us, haven’t you long suspected that all Taco Bells are portals to the warped dimensions of Cthulhu or the Great God Pan? Think about it. You know you shouldn’t eat at Taco Bell. You know the meat is Grade Z, at best…
Yet, somehow, for some reason, the pull to eat there is slow, insistent and comes when you’ve had a few too many beers. Not to mention all the videos of Taco Bell employees doing unspeakable things to your food. Only possessed people would so such things, right?
It’s now been confirmed many Taco Bells are haunted. Oh, and that employees do demonic things to your food. In an article from The Examiner, Taco Bell employees are telling their ghost stories, which include the tale of one Taco Bell where there appear to be three spirits that linger around for the fourth meal – the ghosts of a young girl, a military service veteran, and a woodsman have all been witnessed in the building. Even more disturbing, the Examiner reports, is that employees are doing awful things to the food like licking taco shells – you know, like that Gene Simmons devil from Kiss – thus proving the spirits of the damned don’t want you to enjoy your soft shell taco.
Excuse me while I vomit in my mouth a little.
So, the next time you get a craving for “Fourth Meal”, take along a voice recorder. You might just get an EVP that says, “Dude, that isn’t an extra dab of guacamole. Travis blew snot into your burrito.”
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