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Disney Channel Staking Claim to My Babysitter’s a Vampire

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Watching the trailer for the Canadian-produced TV movie My Babysitter’s a Vampire (making its American premiere Friday on the Disney Channel), the most glaring thing I couldn’t wrap my head around is why a kid that far in his teens still needs a babysitter – a babysitter that looks to be the same age as him.

Is this boy a juvenile delinquent? Is he a total sissy? Are his parents super overprotective? What’s the deal? And is it really a good idea to pair a teenage boy almost assuredly experiencing hormonal overdrive with a really cute girl of an appropriate age for him to engage in the sort of carnal activity the adult film world has taught me always happens whenever an attractive babysitter is hired? That doesn’t seem right at all. Same reason I think it should be illegal for women to order pizza or hire handymen; I know what’s really going to happen after they answer the door.

Anyway, because I’m lazy, and because this a Disney movie I really don’t give a spit about, here’s the press release to better explain My Babysitter’s a Vampire:

My Babysitter’s a Vampire, a comedic spin on pop culture vampires and scary movies in general, tells the story of three teens who believe their new babysitter is a real bloodsucking creature of the night — and it’s now up to them to rid their sleepy little town of the menace. The movie premieres FRIDAY, JUNE 10 (7:00 p.m., ET/PT) on Disney Channel. Produced by Fresh TV and distributed by FremantleMedia Enterprises (FME), it will usher in a summer series premiering Monday, June 27 (7:00 p.m., ET/PT).

In the movie, geeky 14-year old Ethan (played by Matthew Knight) is left to babysit his younger sister, Jane (played by Ella Jonas Farlinger), with his best friend Benny (played by Atticus Mitchell). But after Ethan inadvertently puts Jane in harm’s way, his parents hire a professional sitter, the beautiful yet mysterious 17-year-old Sarah (played by Vanessa Morgan), who, unbeknownst to them, is actually a fledgling vampire.

When the boys discover Sarah’s secret, she enlists their help in stopping her vampire ex-boyfriend, Jesse, from taking over their town, Whitechapel. Along the way they discover that Whitechapel holds a few secrets of its own and that they themselves might actually even have supernatural powers. When fans of the newest vampire movie “Dusk 3” gather for its premiere, Jesse and his clan of followers plan their vengeance on Whitechapel that night, and only Sarah, Ethan and Benny can stop them from destroying their town.

The story was created by the award-winning team of Tom McGillis and Jennifer Pertsch, with screenplay by Tim Burns. My Babysitter’s a Vampire was developed by Fresh TV in association with Teletoon. Executive producers are Tom McGillis, Jennifer Pertsch, Brian Irving and George Elliott, as well as FME’s Sander Schwartz and Bob Higgins.

But will My Babysitter’s a Vampire be as good as My Best Friend is a Vampire, My Grandpa is a Vampire, My Son, The Vampire, or I Bought a Vampire Motorcycle? If you’re Canadian, then you probably already know the answer. We Americans will have to wait and find out this Friday on Disney.

Disney Channel Staking Claim to My Babysitter's a Vampire

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Watch a City Come Together and a Monster Created in These Videos From The Sinking City

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I’ve been keeping a very close eye on Frogwares’ The Sinking City, which is a 3rd person horror adventure that takes place in a world that is as inspired by Sir Arthur Conan Doyle’s Sherlock Holmes as it is by H.P. Lovecraft and his eldritch terrors. While still early in development, the team is beginning to share some pretty incredible things out of their offices (like these creepy statues) to keep the public up-to-date as well as show them just how much work goes into creating something so expansive and fascinating.

Today, I want to bring you a taste of the world that Frogwares is building through two videos. The first shows the process by which they created the actual city that the game takes place in. Obviously trying to hand create each and every building is a tedious process at best, nigh-well impossible task at its most realistic. Rather than attempt such a monumental undertaking, the team created a program that will build the city based on criteria that they set forth. It’s a very clever solution to a very real problem and the end result still feels like their personal touch is all over it.

The second video is a 3D time lapse of a monster as it goes from rough shape to a highly detailed, grotesquely designed monstrosity that is nothing short of nightmarish. It’s a chance to see how an artist creates something phenomenal from something so simple, each step adding a new layer of sickening, yet fascinating, macabre horror.

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Jim Carrey and The Grinch Go Beyond Whoville

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Dr. Suess’ How the Grinch Stole Christmas is a regular holiday staple in many households, including my own. The cartoon is just brilliant; and truth be told, the live action film captured a great deal of the magic infused within the original tale due in no small part to an electric and manic portrayal of the title character by Jim Carrey.

A new video has surfaced courtesy of Nerdist that’s a joyous play on the Netflix flick Jim & Andy: The Great Beyond – Featuring a Very Special, Contractually Obligated Mention of Tony Clifton. Check it out below. It’s SO worth your time.

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The Crucifixion Review – Should’ve Left This One Nailed to the Cross

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Starring Sophie Cookson, Corneliu Ulici, Ada Lupu

Directed by Xavier Gens


Claiming to be inspired by actual events, director Xavier Gens’ The Crucifixion forgoes the affecting shocks and awes, and instead beats its audience into the ground with a laundry-list of ho-hum dialogue and lesser-than-stellar instances…forget the priest, I need a friggin’ Red Bull.

A 2005 case is spotlighted, and it revolves around a psychotically damaged woman of the cloth (nun for all you laymen) who priests believed was inhabited by ol’ Satan himself. With one rogue priest in command who firmly believed that this was the work of something satanic, the nun was subject to a horrific exorcism in which she was chained to a cross and basically left to die, which ultimately resulted in the priest being stripped of his collar and rosary…how tragic. Enter an overzealous New York reporter (Cookson) who is intently focused upon traveling to Romania to get the scoop on the botched undertaking. After her arrival, the only point of view that seems to keep sticking with interviewees is that the man who sat close to the lord killed a helpless, innocent and stricken woman, that is until she meets up with another nun and a village priest – and their claims are of something much more sinister.

From there, the battle between good and evil rages…well, let me rephrase that: it doesn’t exactly “rage” – instead, it simmers but never boils. Unfortunately for those who came looking for some serious Father Karras action will more than likely be disappointed. The performances border on labored with cursory characters, and outside of some beautiful cinematography, this one failed to chew out of its five-point restraints.

I’d normally prattle on and on about this and that, just to keep my word limit at a bit of a stretch, but with this particular presentation, there just isn’t much to bore you all with (see what I just did there). Gens certainly had the right idea when constructing this film according to blueprints…but it’s like one of those pieces of Wal-Mart furniture that when you open the box, all you can find are the instructions that aren’t in your language – wing and a prayer…but we all know what prayers get you, don’t we, Father?

My advice to all who come seeking some hellacious activity – stick to The Exorcist and you’ll never be let down.

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Summary

The Crucifixion is one of those films that needs the help of the man above in order to raise its faith, but I think he might have been out to lunch when this one came around.

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