Editorial: Haberman's Maniacal Musings - The Most EPIC Poster Ever - Dread Central
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Editorial: Haberman’s Maniacal Musings – The Most EPIC Poster Ever

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Hello people. I come bearing a gift. If you’ve seen it, enjoy revisiting. If you haven’t, prepare to be as spellbound as I have been this afternoon. I present to you one of the most extraordinarily epic works of film art I’ve ever seen.

From 1977 came: THE WHITE BUFFALO!

Had no idea this film existed. None. JUST found this by accident while searching for something else, and now my life has taken a dramatic turn. When something like this hits you, a freakish tornado of emotions can begin to rock the ribcage. Do you seek out the film immediately to celebrate your discovery, or do you let your imagination send your soul on an awesome journey of what must be unparalleled and unbridled cinematic ecstasy?

I think I’m gonna simmer in the frothy broth of expectation for a few months. I’ll look at this artwork each day until around May or so, then I’ll attempt to find the thing. Film Foreplay.

A quick Google gander shows the film available on DVD from Blockbuster’s website, while some sketchy looking offerings can be found on Amazon. The ratings I’ve seen are all over the map, so who knows just what we’re dealing with here. All I know for now are these two truths: Christmas came late for Chris, and my grandkids will someday inherit my framed poster of this.

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Editorial: Haberman's Maniacal Musings - The Most EPIC Poster Ever

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Wanna See Something REALLY Scary?

Wanna See Something REALLY Scary? Local 58 Contingency Emergency Broadcast

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Wanna See Something REALLY Scary

“Wanna see something REALLY scary?”

To horror fans who came of age in the 1980s, the line above instantly evokes memories of Dan Aykroyd and Albert Brooks in the opening scene from Twilight Zone: The Movie. Now, on a bi-monthly basis, I’ll be asking, “Wanna see something REALLY scary?” with the goal of shocking you with chilling footage plumbed from the darkest corners of YouTube.

As a child of the Cold War born in the 1970s and traumatized by films like The Day After and Threads, I remember immediately panicking every time an Emergency Broadcast broke into a TV show I was watching. That alarming tone made my stomach drop and in the moments before it was confirmed to be “only a test” I had already imagined a barrage of nuclear warheads bursting overhead.

My heart went out to the residents of Hawaii who, due to a false alarm, believed a missile attack was imminent this weekend. For almost 40 minutes, families scrambled into fallout shelters, bathrooms, and even storm drains, believing war had begun between the United States and North Korea. Even after the all-clear was announced and the warning revealed as a mistake, nerves were severely rattled. I can only imagine the potential long-term damage done to the psyches of Hawaii’s youngest residents.

For a taste of the pandemonium that occurred, check out an excerpt from CNN’s reporting below.

While the shock must have been unprecedented for most, a bizarre alert that accidentally aired in the late 1960s puts the Hawaii debacle to shame. What viewers of a local station saw just before the end of programming at 3 am was a message announcing the fall of the US Government, and included instructions for committing suicide rather than surrendering to enemy forces.

Wanna see something REALLY scary?

The message bore the seal of The U.S. Department for the Preservation of American Dignity, included a statement from President Lyndon B. Johnson, and warned that failure to commit suicide as instructed would have consequences:

“Your local law enforcement has been ordered to ensure your compliance,” the message cautioned. “It is against the law to delay.” The final instructions remind adult viewers to put down their children and pets first while promising “There is nothing to fear.” Though the station later posted a statement ensuring viewers the message was a hoax, the potential loss of life this broadcast could have inspired is staggering. Have a look:

If the Local 58 Contingency, as it’s become known, seems too outlandish to be true, that’s because it isn’t. Though the video doesn’t include an admission of fiction, it’s written and directed by Kris Straub. If that name sounds familiar, that’s because he’s the writer of the popular creepypasta Candle Cove, recently adapted into a TV series on SyFy.

Still, the vintage look of the Local 58 Contingency, not to mention the current climate of heightened tensions between American and a rogue nuclear nation, make this video a truly terrifying viewing experience.

Got an idea for a future installment of “Wanna See Something REALLY Scary?” Hit me up on Twitter @josh_millican!

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The Housemaid Haunts a New Trailer

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Here’s the thing… if we had the choice between cleaning up our own house or being haunted by a vengeful spectral servant of sorts, well… just hand us a friggin’ mop, wouldja already? Still, in the case of The Housemaid, it looks like nothing is gonna stop her from sensing shivers! Dig on this new trailer.

Derek Nguyen directs the flick, which stars Kate Nhung, Jean-Michel Richaud, Kim Xuan, Svitlana Kovalenko, and Rosie Fellner. Look for IFC Midnight’s release of The Housemaid coming to select theaters, VOD, and via Digital platforms in the U.S. on February 16, 2018.

Synopsis:
A forbidden passion awakens vengeful spirits within a haunted mansion in this bloodcurdling, erotic tour-de-force.

Vietnam, 1953: Linh (Nhung Kate), a poor, orphaned young woman, finds employment as a housemaid in a crumbling rubber plantation presided over by the emotionally fragile French officer Sebastien Laurent (Jean-Michel Richaud). Soon, a torrid love affair develops between the two – a taboo romance that rouses the ghost of Laurent’s dead wife, who won’t rest until blood flows.

Submerged in moody Gothic atmosphere, this stylish supernatural saga confronts the dark shadows of Vietnam’s colonial past while delivering heart-stopping scares.

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The Executioners Knock on the Wrong Door! Get Axed!

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Ever since Funny Games I’ve been kind of soured on home invasion flicks. There have been some great ones, but seeing an entire family cower before two white-gloved youths proved a bit too unbelievable for me. I wanted to see the family fight back.

One thing’s for sure: Judging by the cover of The Executioners, someone has picked a feisty group of folks to pick on. Interest piqued.

Directed and written by Giorgio Serafini, the film stars Jemma Dallender, Natalie Burn, Rachel Rosenstein, and Justin Fischer. Look for the flick to be arriving on DVD, Digital, and On Demand March 27th from Lionsgate.

Synopsis:
When four friends go on a retreat to a secluded lakeside cabin, they soon realize they’re not alone. Masked intruders try to take them hostage, but as they fight back, the friends get a taste for something more than the will to survive. Will their fate be as victim or executioner?

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