There’s not a day that goes by that I don’t realize what a fortunate individual I am. That’s right, kids — from time to time your old Uncle Creepy gets to take part in some truly mind-numbingly psychotic antics! Last Friday’s Black Devil Doll screening at the historic New Beverly Cinema in LA was a night that will not likely be forgotten by anyone in attendance. It was, in a word, chaos.
Shawn and Jon Lewis asked me if I’d be interested in introducing the film for them. I said I’d be happy to, but I don’t think even they could imagine the shenanigans that we at Dread Central had planned for the evening. My partner in crime Jon Condit managed to get his hands on over eighty pounds of black dildos for the occasion. (Don’t ask.) Anyway, we met up with Jon Lewis, handed him a silver Sharpie, and told him to get to signing! The plan was in place. Everyone who went to the screening was gonna go home with a special signed friend.
We got to the theatre at about 11:30. The line stretched down the block! Fucking awesome! Immediately I ran into a camera guy and worked the line for some quick on-camera Q&A with the fans. These ranged from fun to absolutely filthy, and you’ll be able to see them once the DVD comes out. After about twenty minutes it was time to head in.
Jon Lewis sat in the corner at the front of the theatre absolutely shell-shocked. He never expected the film to sell out. He never expected this many people would be interested in seeing a movie about the spirit of a black militant psycho inhabiting a tiny wooden puppet. Hell, who would have? I put my arm around his shoulder, congratulated him, and asked the magic question — “Where are they?” We both got a really devilish glint in our eyes as he pointed me to “the box of black rubber cocks“.
I grabbed the mic and introduced myself in the most profane of ways, and the crowd gave me a helluva round of applause. It felt good. I dug it! It excited me. I was feeding off of them, man. It was then that I let them in on what we had in store. Everybody would be going home with signed black dildos of every possible variety. We had them in all shapes and sizes from butt-plug stubbies to some that were just too big to accommodate the average vagina. The people in attendance went ape-shit. I tossed the first cock, and the crowd went absolutely friggin’ crazy. I tossed another, and they got even louder. Before you knew it, cocks were flying around the New Bev like UFOs. People were standing on their chairs, jumping up and down, all looking to get their hands on a quick vag-buster. I was hurling these things. Then Jon Lewis grabbed some and started tossing them with me. This went on for ten minutes. Four people who were visibly offended left, but that didn’t spoil anyone’s mood.
The energy in the place, while completely perverse, was electric. We live in some pretty hectic times. There’s a lot of sadness and despair around us. For tonight at least, it was all about having a good time free of any inhibitions. I cannot describe what nearly two hundred people laughing, smiling, and shouting for cock looked like. Suck on that, all you Yes on Prop 8 motherfuckers! We were a theatre united. It was a moment I’ll never forget.
I then introduced director Jon Lewis, and he offered some of the most heartfelt and sincere thanks I’ve heard in a while. The mood in this place was as good as it gets, and we all had just experienced the perfect jumping off point for the movie. It was time to begin.
Check out our full review of Black Devil Doll here. Allow me to give my opinion of the film. It was exactly what you think it is. There’s something in this movie to offend nearly everyone. It’s brimming with sleaze, toilet humor, tits, and violence. Yes, it has its shortcomings, like a couple of pacing issues here and there, but you can’t help but forgive them instantly if only for the sheer amount of balls that the film displays and its flagrant disregard for anything even resembling decency.
This isn’t your average, regular film. It can’t be judged on a normal scale. To fully grasp what is meant by that you have to see it. You have to experience it. What we have here is the finest example of smart stupidity I’ve seen in quite some time. There are some out there who’ll refer to it as porn, and even some who’ll argue that it shouldn’t have even been made. I’m sure it’s going to get an ass-load of bad reviews from lots of venues who won’t find a single redeeming quality in it, and that’s cool too. Black Devil Doll is by no means for everyone. But for those of us who can appreciate those few films that defy any and all conventions, this is chicken fried gold. It’s the cinematic equivalent of junk food.
The film ended, as did the night, and everyone went home happy and satisfied. The legendary Clu Gulager, who is a New Beverly staple, approached me after the film had ended and shook my hand, stating that he had seen plenty of Q&A’s there, but nothing as entertaining as this. That is the highest compliment I think I’ve ever gotten. He then shook Jon’s hand and gave him the thumbs-up. This was like getting knighted by a King for Lewis. The perfect note to end things on.
We all filed out of the New Bev, and there was not a single dildo left behind. You’ll be happy to know that all of the evening’s festivities, including the now infamous cock-throwing, will be included as a special feature on the DVD.
Keep an eye on the official Black Devil Doll screenings page for more show times!
Hope to see you there, sucka ass!
Got news? Click here to submit it!
Represent in the Dread Central forums