When I got word from my man Avery that The Asylum had officially announced their mockbuster of Alex Aja’s Piranha 3D, I was not the least bit surprised other than I fully expected them to just add an "s" on the end and call it Piranhas. Instead the Asylum madmen have decided to up the ante by making it a Megapiranha.
If the internet powers-that-be ever give out Purple Hearts to those of us out there who take dozens of cinematic bullets for the sake of keeping you informed, showing nothing short of bravery in the face of complete bullshit, then the first ever recipient should no doubt be our very own Foywonder.
Reviewed by The Foywonder Starring Shane Van Dyke, Erin Marie Hogan, Fia Perera, and Norman Saleet Directed by Shane Van Dyk The Asylum’s Paranormal Entity opens with the following text:
Paranormal Activity has bitterly divided audiences. Will opinions be as split over Paranormal Entity, The Asylum's slapped together at the eleventh hour mockbuster hitting DVD shelves next Tuesday? Will Paranormal Entity (review here) fare better than The Asylum's last stab at a cinema-verite mockbuster, its Cloverfield knock-off Monster?
Some of you have asked the question, "So where is The Asylum's mockbuster of Paranormal Activity?" To be fair, who expected a $15,000 home movie to become a $100 million dollar blockbuster? Never fear; when a blockbuster makes money, The Asylum smells money, and a mockbuster soon follows. They'll see your Paranormal Activity and raise you a Paranormal Entity.
Reviewed by The Foywonder Starring Shane Van Dyke, Bruce Boxleitner, Jennifer Rubin, Alana DiMaria Directed by Scott Wheeler
Never mind Christian Bale's meltdown or the promise of a good Terminator movie! Who cares about all that when The Asylum has its mockbuster The Terminators ready to blast off and blow our minds with their ... with their ... oh, you'll see.