B-Sides: He’s a Killing Machine and He Never Does the Dishes

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If there’s one thing to be said while listening to a hilariously bad song like “Shock Dance”, it’s that they really don’t make movie soundtracks like they used to. Heck, even in 1989 they rarely made movie soundtracks quite like that of Wes Craven’s Shocker.

The first time the Shocker soundtrack made it into the B-Sides column, it was the film’s theme song performed by the 80’s rock supergroup The Dudes of Wrath (Kiss’ Paul Stanley, producer Desmond Child, guitarists Vivian Campbell of Def Leppard and Guy Mann-Dude, Whitesnake bassist Rudy Srazo, and Motley Crue drummer Tommy Lee). I wrote then they were brought into existence for the sole purpose of performing Shocker’s same-name anthem. At the time I forgot even a band created to perform one song still needs a b-side.

That b-side would be a bizarre little number called “Shock Dance”, and because their supergroup wasn’t super enough, they enlisted Alice Cooper to provide the main vocals. You’ll also hear the spoken word rap styling of the movie’s fiend, Horace Pinker, though I do not believe this was actually the voice of actor Mitch Pileggi.

Stone cold monster of a man
Half Jack the Ripper and a pinch of Son of Sam
Gashes, slashes, he’s malicious and vicious
He’s a killing machine and he never does the dishes

Want more?

Once I’m inside you, I’m gonna smoke you
I’ll choke you, ahh, he’s gonna croak you
“Pinker the stinker” – the headlines begin
The on-the-scene reporter says he’s gonna do you in

Oh, Alice, how could you? But we thank you for it anyway.

Everyone now… Shockdance… HEY!

B-Sides: He's a Killing Machine and He Never Does the Dishes

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