“Wanna see something REALLY scary?”
To horror fans who came of age in the 1980s, the line above instantly evokes memories of Dan Aykroyd and Albert Brooks in the opening scene from Twilight Zone: The Movie. Now, on a bi-monthly basis, I’ll be asking, “Wanna see something REALLY scary?” with the goal of shocking you with chilling footage plumbed from the darkest corners of YouTube.
No series dedicated to the exploration of creepy YouTube videos would be complete without an entry dedicated to Obey the Walrus. First uploaded in 2005, it quickly became a heavyweight in forums dedicated to all things bizarre and disturbing, eventually gaining a reputation as a cursed video and inspiring its own creepypasta.
Watching Obey the Walrus leaves many profoundly affected, as it forces viewers to face the fragility of the human form while casting them into the pit of The Uncanny Valley. It features a thin and twisted tap dancer, unnerving music, and an unexpected appearance from the titular Walrus. If you haven’t experienced this viral phenomenon, and you’re prepared for a shock, give it a spin below.
While there’s definitely something about Obey the Walrus that feels exploitive, the history of this famous creeper reveals the dancer is Johnnie Baima, a professional drag-queen. Crippled by polio, Baima reinvented himself as Goddess Bunny and became a minor celebrity in Hollywood’s underground transvestite clubs in the 1990s. The footage is culled from a documentary about Baima’s life, directed by Nick Bougas and released in 1998.
In a case of truth being stranger than fiction, additional footage of Baima/Goddess Bunny performing on stage can be found online, and much of it is more disturbing than Obey the Walrus.
Wanna see something REALLY scary?
The video below comes from YouTuber How to Solve whose channel is a collection of all things bizarre. It’s a biography of Baima that reveals some disturbing details about the performer’s life and includes purportedly rare footage (most likely pulled from the Goddess Bunny documentary). The poor quality parallels many of the unsettling aesthetics of Obey the Walrus, yet it’s presented without any paranormal pretenses.
For another shock, skip to the 2-minute mark; the proceeding images may haunt you for a lifetime. If you thought Obey the Walrus was bad—you ain’t seen nothing yet!
Warning: Mature Content!
Got an idea for a future installment of “Wanna See Something REALLY Scary?” Hit me up on Twitter @josh_millican!