Infernal (2015)


InfernalStarring Alyssa Koerner, Andy Ostroff, Heather Adair

Directed by Bryan Coyne

If it weren’t for non-functional parents in horror movies, all children would thrive and lead terror-free existences…but that would be exceedingly boring, now wouldn’t it? If Mom and Dad love to scratch and brawl at every conceivable turn, with no hope of reconciliation, topped off with no sense of where their offspring is at differing moments, then by all means, there is no greater environment in which to bring a young’un into the world!

Take Bryan Coyne’s latest supernatural thriller, Infernal for example: we’ve got the newly married couple consisting of Nathan and Sophia (Ostroff, Adair), who hardly give the off the impression that they’re in love, or even willing to be compatible with each other, as the majority of their dialogue between each other boils down to screaming and an endless barrage of f-bombs aplenty. Enter their newest addition to the family, baby Imogene – as her little life crawls along, she becomes increasingly more creepy with every passing day. Whether it be the constant need to comb her long blond tresses, or the covert ability to sneak off at a moment’s notice undetected, it’s clearly obvious that something else is in control of this little one, and Mom and Dad are WAY too involved with themselves and their problems to focus solely upon their daughter’s issues. At the request of a psychiatrist, it’s concluded that maybe the intervention of a running camera would be the best way to track her progression…well then, isn’t it always?

Never mind with speaking to the child, or having her under the direct supervision of a qualified professional – nonsense! The only licensed proficient in the house apparently is Doctor Go-Pro (at least they’ll save on health insurance). As would be expected, Nathan chooses to record every single moment of little Imogene’s calendar, from birthday parties to her love of the neighborhood dogs, regardless of whether they love her or not. A few instances even capture the voice (and image) of a dark, horned presence in her bedroom at night, almost taking watch of her as she sleeps, all the while Nathan and Sophia continue to piss and moan at each other like a couple of petulant children, which was kind of a sneaky move by their therapist.

As her behavior grows more and more mechanical and laid-out, unfortunately so does the progression of the movie, and aside from a fairly surprising turn of events towards the movie’s conclusion, we’re left with that overdone feeling that’s been far too commonplace in today’s brand of horror.

Now I’m not one to play the evil reviewer here, and if you believe that statement, I’d like to announce a casting call for Cabin in the Woods Part 2 (just kidding). Look, performances are what you’d expect from a “found-footage” styled presentation, a lot of infighting, a crapload of “fucks!!” being hurled in every direction, and the inability (at least in this movie) to convince me to sympathize with virtually any character…ever. In the end of all things, when you’re hankerin for a big ol’ slice of angry kid-right-hand-of Satan type of film, allow me to offer up a little gem from 1976… anyone? Starred some guy named Gregory Peck? Anyone? Give me a little while, and I’m sure it’ll come to me.

  • Film
User Rating 3.08 (13 votes)


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