Massacre On Aisle 12 (2017)
Starring Chad Ridgely, Michael Buonomo, Doug Burch
Directed by Jim Klock and William Mark McCullough
With an opening scene that mirrors everyone’s favorite S-Mart employee, it’s plain to see that Massacre On Aisle 12 is (at least) attempting to channel some of that lightning-in-a-bottle that led The Evil Dead to become such a classic among horror throngs…notice I said “attempting?”
I’m not going to take co-directors Jim Klock and William Mark McCullough to task for their work on this dark comedy, heavily infused with laughs and gore – it’s a decent watch that that will surely have it’s audience looking for more. Looking for some hardware? Then step on into the front doors of Mr. Beaver’s (no joke) – a dirty, dingy small business that’s one full-blown leaf blower away from closing its doors, and it also happens to be the new workplace of recently-hired Dave (Buonomo). His first night on the job is Christmas Eve, and his trainer is the intently disgruntled assistant manager, Jack (Ridgely) – they’re surrounded by a Rogue’s Gallery of miscreants all working under the same roof. We’ve got ex-soldiers, druggies and all-around kooks, and when a very large amount of dough is found inside of a metal box…oh yeah, about the body that’s stashed along with it? Never mind, let’s all focus on the greenbacks! Seems everyone has their own ideas about what to do with the new-found bread, and it’s now brought a heaping-helping of trouble along with it – employees are getting whacked right and left, and no one seems to know who or where the next cadaver’s going to end up…on aisle 12, I’m guessing?
In any event, the film is flush with some entertaining moments and gore that is plentiful, making an effective B-movie formula. Now the performances do range from hilarious to downright cheesy, and with a film like this that requires some goofy portrayals, let’s just say that they’re spot on. The film also does an exceptional job with the setup of each character, and while that might not be too much of a selling point for some fans, I feel like it adds another level of depth to the person (or people) who just might be getting sliced and diced later on in the film…and yes, I am demented for thinking this. While some of the dialogue does run a bit stale towards the film’s latter stages, it’s still an amusing romp and it’ll more than likely have it’s share of frequent-shoppers…now if someone can just clean up the mess in the aisles, we’ll be all set.