Starring Andrew M. Greenwood, Stephanie Price, Vicki Glover
Directed by MJ Dixon
The only thing potentially more painful than sitting through a clown’s performance at a children’s birthday party is sitting through another killer clown flick. We get it – they’re sad, tortured individuals who slather on the white face paint, don the rainbow wigs and red noses, and either systematically slaughter all that have done them wrong or simply choose to kill for sport.
In MJ Dixon’s Cleaver: Rise of the Killer Clown, unfortunately we’re not seeing anything new on display as far as premise or internal structure is concerned, and all we’re left with is a big ol’ set of floppy footprints and a few blood splatters.
The story goes something like this: At the movie’s start-up, we witness a cheating wife lying with her on-the-side loverboy, and his booty call has passed; she’s hacked in the face repeatedly by her jealous husband, clad in his clown getup. Years later, a young college student who’s hard up for dough takes a babysitting gig on Halloween night watching a little girl just as the murders have started up again – thanks to Mom and Dad for abandoning their little one while a homicidal lunatic is on the rampage!
Our usual inept Sheriff’s Department is on the case (sarcasm), and we’re left to our own imaginations as to how the hell this deranged nutbag has managed to elude authorities after all these years… if it is indeed our original killer?
Look, the only positive that I can take out of this mess was the performance of Andrew M. Greenwood as Cleaver, the killer clown – he was creepy, convincing, and ultimately deserving of a much better script. My advice? Skip this trick-or-treating fiasco, and just indulge in a bag of chocolates at your own place.