Lights Camera BLOOD! (2015)


Lights Camera BloodStarring Alan MacKenzie, Dan Baker-Moor, Heather Russell

Directed by Kevin Doherty

I wonder if Spielberg ever had these issues? Imagine a director so hard up on ideas and backing for a new film, that he had to resort to live slaughter on camera. What if those bodies just continued to pile up, and the director’s fame grew to almost astronomical heights? Kevin Doherty’s Lights Camera BLOOD! is a shining example of the “what if?” scenario, even if it is intently goofy to sit through.

Alan MacKenzie plays Mandalor, a struggling horror movie filmmaker whose last project was a colossal turd (and that’s putting it kindly), and after a submission to the big cheese at the studio he works for falls flat, both he and his dimwitted assistant, Rodney (Baker-Moor) are forced to rethink their game plans for future releases if they ever want to crash the sets of the more notable names in the business. After brainstorming (a very small storm), the two devise a plan to start making snuff films, with an even MORE cerebrally-challenged man named Gustave (Kris Scoran) to perform the tortures and executions while the camera rolls – solid plan, fellas.

Not before long, the films become somewhat of a black-market tidal wave of success, and as the notoriety begins to swell for the almost deposed director, the body count continues to rise as well, and the clock begins to tick rather loudly when a criminal investigation is at hand when the films begin to look a little TOO lifelike – ah, those silly practical effects fool em’ all the time, don’t they…don’t they? As the movie rolls on, and the gore is dished out in copious amounts, the cast holds their tongues firmly in their cheeks as they stroll along with their performances – they had to have known this movie was a spoof, and they treat it as such – in other words, don’t look for stone-cold seriousness when eyeballing these performers.

Doherty presents this inane display in a grainy, washed-out visual style, with plenty of blood and guts to make the crimson zealots moderately entertained. For an 80 minute presentation unfortunately, the majority of the audio sounded as if the mics were being smothered, and then thrust at a high level for some other scenes, giving off a very unbalanced aural experience. Overall, the film was somewhat of a downer, but Doherty looks as if he’ll have a place among the multitudes of indie-lensmen who will crank out ideas to both shock, awe, disgust, and sometimes amuse the masses – worth a one-timer if you’re hard up for something to lay eyes upon.

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User Rating 3.11 (9 votes)


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