How about we rank Rob Zombie’s movies? Sounds like fun, right? This isn’t a personal list. In fact, I wildly disagree with the results. But here they are all the same. This is as definitive as I could do. It’s based on each films: Rotten Tomatoes Critics Score, Rotten Tomatoes: Audience Score, Metacritic Score, IMDb Ranking, Google Audience Score. It all adds up to “points” which you’ll see next to each title. This is not a horror fan’s ranking of the movies. This is the general public as best as I could calculate.
Let’s see what they say…
08. Halloween II (181)
A year after narrowly escaping death at the hands of Michael Myers (Tyler Mane), Laurie Strode is also at the breaking point, pushed to the edge by Dr. Loomis’ (Malcolm McDowell) revelation that she’s Michael’s sister. Little does she know, the unstoppable killer is back in Haddonfield and, driven by visions of their dead mother (Sheri Moon Zombie), he is determined to bring about a bloody family reunion.
07. 31 (188)
Five carnival workers are kidnapped the night before Halloween and held hostage in a large compound. At the mercy of their captors, they are also forced to play a twisted game of life or death called 31. For the next 12 hours, they must fight for their lives against an endless parade of homicidal maniacs.
06. House of 1000 Corpses (205)
An empty fuel tank and a flat tire lead two couples down a terror-riddled road to the House of 1000 Corpses. “House of 1000 Corpses” is at its core also a story of family – a cast of twisted individuals who, with each slash of a throat or stab thru the chest, add bodies to their sick human menagerie.
05. The Lords of Salem (210)
A radio DJ (Sheri Moon Zombie) in Salem, Mass., is plagued by nightmarish visions of vengeful witches after she plays a record by a mysterious group known only as “The Lords.” Moon Zombie stars along with Bruce Davison, Judy Geeson, Patricia Quinn, Dee Wallace, María Conchita Alonso, Andrew Prine, and Meg Foster.
04. The Haunted World of El Superbeasto (222)
An adventurous wrestler (Tom Papa) battles supernatural forces and also the evil Dr. Satan (Paul Giamatti). The film was written by Zombie and Tom Papa from Zombie’s comic book series of the same name, serving as a sidequel to his Firefly film series. It was produced by Starz Media and Film Roman, with animation provided by Carbunkle Cartoons and Big Star Productions. The film stars Papa, Sheri Moon Zombie, Paul Giamatti, Rosario Dawson, Tom Kenny, and Brian Posehn. Papa voices the character of El Superbeasto and Moon Zombie voices sidekick sister, Suzi-X.
03. Halloween (224)
Nearly two decades after being committed to a mental institution for killing his stepfather and also his older sister, Michael Myers (Tyler Mane) breaks out, intent on returning to the town of Haddonfield, Ill. He arrives in his hometown on Halloween with the indomitable purpose of hunting down his younger sister, Laurie (Scout Taylor-Compton). The only thing standing between Michael and a Halloween night of bloody carnage is psychologist Dr. Samuel Loomis (Malcolm McDowell).
02. 3 from Hell (250)
The third and final installment in the Firefly trilogy begins after House of 1000 Corpses and The Devil’s Rejects. Sheri Moon Zombie stars with Bill Moseley, Richard Brake, and Sid Haig. Ten years have passed since the events of Rejects and we find an incarcerated Otis Driftwood and Baby Firefly being freed by Otis’s half-brother, after barely surviving a police shootout a decade ago. Then they unleash bloody mayhem after escaping from prison.
01. The Devil’s Rejects (280)
After a raid on the rural home of the psychopathic Firefly family, two members of the clan, Otis (Bill Moseley) and Baby (Sheri Moon Zombie), manage to flee the scene. Heading to a remote desert motel, the killers reunite with Baby’s father, Capt. Spaulding (Sid Haig), who is also equally demented and intent on maintaining their murder spree. While the trio continues to torment and also kill various victims, the vengeful Sheriff Wydell (William Forsythe) slowly closes in on them.
Do you agree with this ranking of Rob Zombie’s movie?