All good things must come to an end. And, sometimes, even schlock has a limited shelf life. Depending on how you feel about the Sharknado franchise news that it’s all about to come to an end with this summer’s final sixth installment, you’re either really disappointed or yelling, “About time!”
Not terribly surprising to hear that Syfy is finally prepared to retire the utterly improbably pop cultural phenom that has been The Asylum’s Sharknado series given the powers-that-be’s recent push to classy up their punchline-worthy network with more highbrow genre entertainment. Who needs more of those stupid Sharknado sequels when you’re now in the business of making Leprechaun sequels, right?
Sharknado 5: Global Swarming ended with Ian Ziering’s hero Finn the sole survivor on a barren Earth ravaged by cataclysmic Sharknadoes until a time traveler appears to set up the Back to the Future-esque adventure to come with the climactic “seisquel.”
TVLine has confirmed that Sharknado 6 (punny title forthcoming) will bring back franchise regulars Ian Ziering, Tara Reid, Cassie Scerbo, and Vivica A. Fox, along with five-time filmmaker Anthony C. Ferrante, for one final time-traveling climax that will involve Nazis, dinosaurs, knights, and even Noah’s Ark. I’m sure we’ll be hearing a lot more about what’s in store for the End Times Sharknado in the coming weeks.
Footnote: I once jokingly pitched a Syfy producer my idea for a Noah’s Shark movie. So help me if Sharknado 6 features a scene in which a whale spits out of a spear-wielding Jonah 300-style who saves the Ark from attacking sharks and then proclaims, “The meek shall inherit the earth”…
Expect Sharknado 6: Eating a Dead Horse (my title nomination) to premiere sometime around July/August as part of what I also assume will be the final “Sharknado Week,” aka when Syfy trots out a bunch of even cheaper shark movies on a nightly basis leading up to the premiere of the only one that really matters to them.
We might also already know what two of those other “Sharknado Week” movies will be as The Asylum has updated its website to include two more upcoming shark flicks: 6-Headed Shark Attack and Megalodon.
No cast or plot information for 6-Headed Shark Attack; not that it really needs any. “A shark with multiple heads eats people” is pretty much the synopsis of all these films.
No further info on Megalodon either other than a plot synopsis that sure makes it sound very much like a mockbuster of this summer’s big screen book adaptation The Meg: “A giant prehistoric shark thought to be long extinct appears in the Pacific Ocean. but with no natural predators, mankind must figure out how to stop the rampaging beast before it obliterates the World’s Coast.”
Funny thing is that sounds closer to the plot of Steve Alten’s original Meg novel than the actual The Meg movie we’ll be getting this summer.