Guillermo del Toro Says The Shape of Water Sex Toy is Not Accurate - Dread Central
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Guillermo del Toro Says The Shape of Water Sex Toy is Not Accurate

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As you’ve probably heard by now, XenoCat Artifacts have released an unofficial sex toy modeled after the aquatic creature played by Doug Jones in Guillermo del Toro’s masterpiece The Shape of Water. The product, which has been dubbed ‘The Jewel of the Amazon’, was clearly a huge success, as it sold out in less than twenty minutes, and I don’t want to think about what the buyers must be doing with them. Anyway, you can learn more about the, um, dildo in an interview with the creators here.

However, del Toro has made it clear that he’s not a fan of the rather naughty piece of merchandise. Speaking to The Wrap, he said that the toy, which depicts the creature’s manhood, was not an accurate depiction of how its genitalia would actually look. He was quoted as saying the following:

“I don’t think it’s an accurate representation. It’s some form of fan art… I guess.”

Seeing as del Toro designed the creature, he has the final say over how its manly parts look. So if he says the dildo’s incorrect, it’s incorrect.

Jones was also not particularly fond of the sex toy, saying:

“After pouring my heart, soul, blood, sweat, and tears into this romantic, beautiful, magical role, the last thing I want to be remembered for is a silicone appendage that comes in two sizes.”

We hear you, Doug. And don’t worry, people will be praising your performance in The Shape of Water for years to come.

So I guess the moral of this story is that you shouldn’t create a sex toy modeled after an amphibious creature’s private parts without first consulting an expert.

Anyway, The Shape of Water also stars Sally Hawkins, Michael Shannon, Richard Jenkins, Michael Stuhlbarg, and Octavia Spencer. We loved the film in our review, and it’s also picked up thirteen Oscar nominations in addition to earning a current worldwide total of $75 million. Despite all its success, we’ll probably never truly know what the creature’s penis really looks like. And maybe that’s a good thing.

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Oy! HANNUKAH THE MOVIE Aims to Get Made After Nearly a Decade

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This menorah has nothing to do with the story but, c'mon! It's a freaking T-rex menorah!

As a Jew, seeing holiday-themed horror movies is both a wonderful and bittersweet occasion. I love seeing my friends celebrate the holidays that are near and dear to their hearts but elevated with the viscera, gore, and terror that I so dearly love. But while Christians have films like Black Christmas, Santa’s Slay, Gremlins, Red Christmas, Krampus, etc…, the amount of horror films centered around Jewish holidays is slim to none. Don’t get me wrong here, okay? I’m well aware of population dynamics and, therefore, interest in a given subject/life experience. It’d just be nice to see something like that now and again.

Oh, but what’s this? Looks like writer/director Eben McGarr is ready to move forward on his near decade long project Hanukkah The Movie, a “TORAH-fying new tale of HORAH!” I get it. Sensible chuckle awarded.

Obediah Lazarus is the son of Judah Lazarus, the original Hanukkiller. In 1983 Judah terrorized NY for seven nights and was preparing to sacrifice his eight-year-old son, Obediah, on the eighth night. Judah was convinced it was God’s will, like Abraham and Isaac, to sacrifice his only son to God. Luckily for Obediah, police tracked Judah down and stopped the sacrifice, but Judah was gunned down in the process. Warped by hatred with no guidance, Obediah Lazarus becomes a religious extremist, intolerant of non-Jews, “bad Jews”, and those he perceives to be enemies of the Jewish faith. He is about to unleash eight nights of horror.

A group of Jewish teens are getting ready to party for the holidays but are in for a Festival of Frights. With the help of a wise rabbi, they deduce that the murder victims have violated Judaic law and that their only chance at survival is to embrace their faith.

The film has supposedly taken care of the majority of pre-production, so they’re now on Indiegogo with the goal to raise $100,000. Not a small amount but certainly not an unachievable goal. If a potato salad Kickstarter that wanted $10 ended up with nearly $56,000, I think this has a chance.

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Trailer: Man-Made Ghosts Invade OUR HOUSE This July

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IFC Midnight will be unleashing director Anthony Scott Burns’ feature debut Our House come July 27, 2018. The film stars Thomas Mann and Nicola Peltz and today we have the flick’s spooky trailer for your viewing pleasure.

You can check out the poster to the right and the trailer below and then make sure to hit us up and let us know what you think in the comments below or on Facebook, Twitter, and/or Instagram!

Our House is directed by Anthony Scott Burns from a script written by Nathan Parker and stars Thomas Mann and Nicola Peltz. It’s produced by Lee Kim, Martin Katz, Ulf Israel and Karen Wookey. Executive producers are John Davis, Nick Spicer, Kyle Franke, Derek Dauchy, Noah Segal, Adrian Love, David Kehrl and Reik Moller.

The film hits via IFC Midnight this July 27, 2018.

Synopsis:

The story of a young genius who accidentally invents a device that amplifies the paranormal activity within his family’s house, possibly bringing back the spirits of loved ones — and unleashing things that are far worse.

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AMERICAN HORROR STORY 8 Begins Filming This June

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American Horror Story Season 6It was just the other day that we let you guys know that Billie Lourd will be back for the upcoming 8th season of Ryan Murphy’s American Horror Story.

And today we have word via Deadline that the new season, rumored to be titled AHS: Radioactive will begin shooting around June 16.

Are you excited to hear filming will soon begin on AHS 8? Make sure to hit us up and let us know what you think in the comments below or on Facebook, Twitter, and/or Instagram!

AHS Season 8 stars Sarah Paulson, Evan Peters, Billie Lourd, Kathy Bates, and new cast member Joan Collins, who will play Peters’ grandmother. Murphy has revealed he’s interested in casting Anjelica Huston (The Addams Family) as well.

 

 

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