As you’ve probably heard by now, XenoCat Artifacts have released an unofficial sex toy modeled after the aquatic creature played by Doug Jones in Guillermo del Toro’s masterpiece The Shape of Water. The product, which has been dubbed ‘The Jewel of the Amazon’, was clearly a huge success, as it sold out in less than twenty minutes, and I don’t want to think about what the buyers must be doing with them. Anyway, you can learn more about the, um, dildo in an interview with the creators here.
However, del Toro has made it clear that he’s not a fan of the rather naughty piece of merchandise. Speaking to The Wrap, he said that the toy, which depicts the creature’s manhood, was not an accurate depiction of how its genitalia would actually look. He was quoted as saying the following:
“I don’t think it’s an accurate representation. It’s some form of fan art… I guess.”
Seeing as del Toro designed the creature, he has the final say over how its manly parts look. So if he says the dildo’s incorrect, it’s incorrect.
Jones was also not particularly fond of the sex toy, saying:
“After pouring my heart, soul, blood, sweat, and tears into this romantic, beautiful, magical role, the last thing I want to be remembered for is a silicone appendage that comes in two sizes.”
We hear you, Doug. And don’t worry, people will be praising your performance in The Shape of Water for years to come.
So I guess the moral of this story is that you shouldn’t create a sex toy modeled after an amphibious creature’s private parts without first consulting an expert.
Anyway, The Shape of Water also stars Sally Hawkins, Michael Shannon, Richard Jenkins, Michael Stuhlbarg, and Octavia Spencer. We loved the film in our review, and it’s also picked up thirteen Oscar nominations in addition to earning a current worldwide total of $75 million. Despite all its success, we’ll probably never truly know what the creature’s penis really looks like. And maybe that’s a good thing.