The Top 5 Sexiest Moms in Horror History
There should be way more sexy moms in horror films. It is possible to make a scary movie and have mom not be the insane killer or a secondary character who solely exists to torture. It is!
But there aren’t many sexy moms in horror films. There are quite a few scary moms and moms that are scared, but few that openly share and express their sexuality. Here are five mothers who are sexy. Most are tortured and/or dead by the end of the film, but there’s at least some semblance of sexuality from someone who gained the title of mom by actually having sex.
Lisa Bonet as Epiphany Proudfoot in Angel Heart (1987)
Lisa Bonet portrays a 17-year-old mom in this horror thriller (She was 19 during filming, it’s legal!) starring Mickey Rourke. If you’re only familiar with Rourke from The Wrestler, Sin City, and the very bad/odd Iron Man 2, it’s difficult to envision him as a sexy man. He was sexy! He was very sexy! When Bonet and Rourke do hook up, it’s legit sexy, as long as you’re cool with animal sacrifice and blood. Lots of blood. Raining blood. If you want it to remain sexy, you may want to turn off the film around the 90-minute mark. Once you know the whole story, it’s not at all sexy. It’s kind of what makes this a horror film.
If you can get past the very bad score and sound design (there is one soundtrack highlight around minute 25 when The Chords’ “Sh-Boom” plays in the background when Rourke flirts with a passerby), this is a quality film with stellar performances. A lot of De Niro and Dicaprio’s recent films together looks like it was inspired by De Niro and Rourke sharing scenes.
Somewhat related and somewhat important, this is the first film Lisa Bonet took after starring in The Cosby Show. It’s the film role that Bill Cosby used to justify firing her from the family-friendly sitcom. While Bonet is either nude or partially topless in four of her five scenes, this movie was rated R, or NC17 if you’re lucky enough to see the extended sex scene. People knew what they were getting into. No Cosby Show viewers knew the real-life horror story of Bill Cosby’s personal life.
Elisabeth Shue as Sheriff Julie Forester in Piranha 3D (2010)
Is an intentionally bad film better with a respectable cast? There’s no reason Richard Dreyfus needed to essentially reprise his role from Jaws but it sure doesn’t hurt. Star Elizabeth Shue is one of the few, maybe only, women who don’t appear topless or in a bikini in this surprise hit.
There’s nice chemistry between Shue and Adam Scott and both are in the real world while every other character is in a cartoon-esque, Girls Gone Wild fever dream. It’s just nice to see a portrayal of an age-appropriate sexy mom who isn’t tortured, killed, or sleeps with their kid.
Isabelle Adjani as Anna and Helen in Possession (1981)
There are some caveats with this one. It’s not sexy for the first 30 minutes. To most, it’s not sexy for the entire film. A very tense divorce drama between a despicable husband, aloof wife, and uncared-for child is far from erotic. Then something happens. The film transitions from a Look Back in Anger kitchen sink drama to a more violent and demon-possessed Eraserhead. It’s probably better if you don’t find this sexy. But if you do, you understand that moms need more than despicable husbands and have their own sex drives. Sometimes mom just needs a Matar-Sephet. Or a divorce. Or both.
Blanca Guerra as Concha in Santa Sangre (1989)
God bless the wonderful people at Tubi. Without them, you might not be able to stream this disturbing entry in Alejandro Jodorowsky’s catalog. The flick is what you’d expect from a surrealist filmmaker more than comfortable with over-the-top interpretations of religion and sex. Blanca Guerra portrays Concha, the mother of Fenix, a cult leader, trapeze artist (the sexiness is in the trapeze act), and the cheated-on wife of Orgo, the knife-thrower and hypnotist. It’s a convoluted film, obviously, but it’s nice that Guerra gets to play both predator and prey. Not all parents are good or evil. All parents are good and evil. This one happens to also work in the church, in the circus, and with knives.
Santa Sangre is two hours of traumatic experiences that make Lars von Trier’s films look beyond basic. It’s a whiplash of emotions from scene to scene and the kind of thing you’ll either love or loathe.
If you want your sexy mom to exist in a fever dream full of amputation, clowns, detached ears, duets, elephant death, imaginary friends, genital mutilation, luchadors, making out with mom, marionettes, painted corpses, sacrifice, satin pajamas, sexual violence, shapeshifting, sunglasses at night, and witnessing a parent’s death, happy Mother’s Day! Related, this film looks really good. The colors pop. The nightmares are vivid. And I’m pretty sure Beyoncé’s new country look is copped from Fenix’s post-forced tattoo outfit. Just watch it, it’s too difficult to explain and once again, it’s on Tubi!
Natasha Henstridge as Sil in Species
Hey, look, it’s a pre-Dawson’s Creek Michelle Williams! I hope her future isn’t a real-life horror movie! Anyway, little Michelle is only in the film for a few scenes before we get to a nude Natasha Henstridge emerging from an alien sac. The sci-fi horror flick with an A-list cast (Forest Whitaker! Alfred Molina! Ben Kingsley!) should be worse than it is. An excuse to see Henstridge seduce, murder, and give birth is actually a pretty good flick with some HR Giger-inspired aliens and a laughably bad mid-90s soundtrack.
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