Car-Wash Carnage in Bikini Girls on Ice
The other night I finally got an opportunity to see Let The Right One In and it lived up to the hype. Now, while an artfully-crafted piece of sublime horror filmmaking is great and all, there's also something to be said for the horror films with no pretension, no subtlety, and no grace whatsoever when it comes to what they're selling. I'm talking about the films that are all about two things: blood and boobs, not necessarily in that order. I'm talking about movies like Bikini Girls on Ice.
Don't let the title fool you into thinking this is a movie about bikini-clad skaters putting on an ice capade. Bikini Girls on Ice follows the very simple formula of getting some attractive women in as little clothing as possible and then killing them. It is a time-honored tradition, no?
Bikini Girls on Ice is the harrowing and sometimes top heavy tale of a bus-load of women soccer players on their way to a bikini car-wash fundraiser. The bus breaks down on the outskirts of town, and determined to make some money regardless; the ladies don their skimpy swimwear and put on a bikini car-wash right there in front an old, seemingly abandoned gas station. Wouldn't you know it, that rundown gas station turns out to be the lair of a homicidal maniac named Moe, who to me looks an awful lot like an escapee from Lake Dead. Psycho Moe has an odd habit of putting his corpses on ice afterwards; I guess to keep them from spoiling or something.
The film's producer-director, Geoff Klein, has been popping in on our message board for about a year now giving us some updates on the status of his jiggle meets jugular slasher opus. Today he popped in to inform us of the first trailer for Bikini Girls on Ice, starring a bevy of unknown beauties who I wouldn't mind getting to know, is now online. So if you're the type of person who likes a little massacre to go with their slumber party then some bikini car-wash carnage should also tickle your fancy. Head over to the official Bikini Girls on Ice website and gawk at the NSFW trailer. It is what it is and for what it is it doesn't look half bad.
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