Reviewed by Uncle Creepy
Starring David Lyons, Nadia Farès, John Brumpton, Robert Taylor
Directed by Jamie Blanks
Distributed by Dimension Extreme
Right from the start Storm Warning had two strikes. The first was plastered along the bottom of the DVD box: “From the director of Urban Legend”. For the life of me I cannot help but wonder how anyone could ever look at that as a selling point. The flick was OK at best but nothing at all to be touted anywhere. The second was the description of the film’s storyline on the back cover. Without repeating it verbatim, the events go down something like this …
Due to some really bad weather two lovers (Lyons and Farès) are forced to land their tiny sailboat on a remote island that is populated by a crazed father and his even crazier sons. Of course the inhabitants don’t exactly welcome our duo with open arms. They’ve got far more malevolent plans in mind — namely, stripping the couple nude, jailing them, and then making with some quick mean-spirited sexual abuse before ultimately killing them. There’s just one thing these psychos didn’t count on — an angry French woman with revenge on her mind and a penchant for alternative birth control devices.
Immediately visions of another lame ass torture porn movie started dancing through my head. Like I said, strike two. The only thing making me want to sit through Storm Warning was the fact that it had generated some positive buzz from circles of folks whom I deeply respect. With an open mind I popped in the DVD and sat back to enjoy the ride, and enjoy it I did.
Though it may sound painfully familiar, director Jamie Blanks skillfully manages to stray away from every pitfall that his latest film could easily have fallen into. There are parts of Storm Warning that are nothing short of ferocious. Though the movie still has the same “gloss” to it as Urban Legend and even Valentine did, it shares nothing else in common with those silly bits of teeny-bopper driven drivel. Instead we have an incredibly mature and visceral experience that’s riddled with suspense and dripping with gore.
By the time the feature was over, there was cause for elation. Prayers immediately went out to the video gods that this DVD be packed with extras. Sadly, this was not to be. Are you kidding me? I’ve seen movies that were absolutely abysmal get the royal DVD treatment from studios. The skimpiness of this package is borderline inexcusable.
All there is in terms of supplemental material is a commentary involving Blanks and several other people associated with the film. While there’s never a dull moment during the track, there are so many people involved, it almost gets confusing as to who’s saying what. Still, it’s so worth a listen as many interesting tidbits of info are shared such as the fact that the film’s script was penned around thirty years ago but was constantly turned down in terms of getting funding for it being too graphic. Given the age of the script, it’s no wonder why Storm Warning felt so genuine. It would have been right at home in the Seventies with the other revenge/exploitation classics from that era. Taking into account the thirty years of history surrounding this project, it’s nearly inconceivable that there’d be only one feature included on this disc.
So, after thirty years in the making and twelve months in post-production, was it worth the wait? God, yes. Storm Warning looks incredible, is packed with top-notch performances, and moves along at a furious pace. You’ll barely have time to catch your breath. Heed the warning. See this now. It’s one of our genre’s near perfect storms.
4 out of 5
2 out of 5
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