Reviewed by Uncle Creepy
Starring Laura Elena Harring, Pete Postlethwaite, John Hannah, Mosa Kaiser
Directed by Lamberto Bava
Distributed by Xenon Pictures
Bava. Over the years the name has become synonymous with many things in our genre. Style. Terror. Atmosphere. The great one, Mario Bava has left behind quite the legacy. His son Lamberto was poised to take the reigns. Though we’ve all been quite expectant, other than the Demoni films he hasn’t exactly been delivering. With Ghost Son he returns to the genre his father helped to make so great, but he’s left a few things behind … namely style, terror, and atmosphere.
Meet Stacey (Harring) and Mark (Hannah). They’re just your average couple who live in South Africa and raise horses. Everything is just peachy for our love birds until Mark ends up in an auto accident. Stacey, sensing that something is very wrong, takes off via bicycle (a scene that is impossibly long, but made bearable by Harring’s perfectly formed rear) to save the day. Too late. Mark is gone, and she’s all alone. Except for the baby she is carrying. Once birthed our baby exhibits some unnaturally evil qualities (more on that in a minute), but could this all be in Stacey’s head? Is she just batshit nuts as a result of her hubby’s untimely demise?
The main problem with Ghost Son is that for the better part of an hour absolutely nothing, and I mean nothing, happens. Sure Harring and Hannah are turning in good performances, but let’s face it, we’re not watching this to see a relationship blossom as if it were a Lifetime original film. We’re watching this flick because it’s a Bava movie and we as fans want nothing more than for Lamberto to turn in another great horrific experience. Sadly this was not to be.
When things do get cooking it’s the inappropriate absurdity of the events that will keep you watching. Our tiny antagonist has some interesting habits, such as being able to speak and walk at a very young age, hardcore projectile vomiting, some stretchy nursing habits, and the ability to pop a boner after grabbing his M.I.L.F.’s tit in the shower. Honestly, I just wanted to see how far Bava would go, but then it happens. Whatever fun we’re having hits a brick wall as Ghost Son soon reverts back to flaccid soap opera like drivel by the features end. By the time it’s over you’ll be left with the taste of rancid Pablum in your mouth.
As for supplemental material there’s not a damned thing. I’d like to take this time to thank the fine folks at Xenon Pictures for not including anything. I’m almost tempted to give them a Stabbie in the Special Features area just for sparring me the boredom of anything else having to do with this snooze-fest.
Do yourself a favor. Avoid this like the filthiest stinkiest diaper ever left in a dumpster. Please Lamberto … now that this is out of your system give us something to scream about. We know you have it in you. Get out there and make Papa proud.
We’ll be watching.
1 out of 5
0 out of 5
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