Reviewed by Uncle Creepy
Amityville: It’s About Time (1992)
Starring Stephen Macht, Shawn Weatherly, Megan Ward, Damon Martin
Directed by Tony Randel
Amityville: A New Generation (1993)
Starring Ross Partridge, Julia Nickson-Soul, Lala Sloatman, David Naughton
Directed by John Murlowski
The Amityville Dollhouse (1996)
Starring Robin Thomas, Starr Andreeff, Allen Cutler, Rachel Duncan
Directed by Steve White
Distributed by Lionsgate Home Entertainmnet
Just out of curiosity — how many of you out there actually knew that there were nine Amityville movies? Anyone? I didn’t think so. The main reason why this tidbit of information may have fallen under the radar is pretty simple — other than the remake everything after Amityville 3-D pretty much sucked. With addition of these three films there remains only one Amityville movie unavailable on DVD here in the States — The Amityville Curse. Maybe we should be greatful for that fact. In any event today we’re talking about Lionsgates latest box set, The Amityville Collection, which contains three of the several bad flicks (Patty Duke’s Amityville: The Evil Escapes is not included but can be purchased separately) — Amityville: It’s About Time, Amityville: A New Generation and The Amityville Dollhouse.
These three flicks have one thing in common — neither of them take place in Amityville or even in a house that looks like the Amityville home. Nope. Instead these three movies focus on an object from the cursed dwelling that ends up haunting the people who possess them. Seconds will pass like hours as you are treated to the exploits of a haunted clock. You’ll be ashamed to look at yourself after going through the motions with a haunted mirror. You will however get a chuckle out of the whole dollhouse thing.
Each entry into this baffling-how-long-it-has-gone-on (second only to the equally as flaccid Howling series) is void of any series continuity, scares, or reason to watch. With the exception of The Amityville Dollhouse (which tries its hardest to be entertaining and succeeds about two thirds of the time), what we have here is two hundred and eighty-four minutes of nearly unwatchable shit.
Don’t look for any special features because you’re not gonna find ’em here. Hell, not even the prints are up-to-speed as Lionsgate clearly just transferred these flicks from fullscreen VHS tapes on to DVD. I can’t say I blame them for not paying any attention. Even at a bargain price for three films you’ll still feel short-changed.
Do yourself a favor, avoid this box set like you would a hooker with festering growths on her lips. My mind is numb. I cannot write another word.
1 1/2 each out of 5
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