Directed by Sean MacArthur
Distributed by Lionsgate
Do you like wasting your time with mindless, cheap and ultimately unsatisfying movies? Do you like to be fooled by fancy DVD covers? Is watching a movie by an unknown director with unknown actors your idea of a fun time? Then my friends you are just the perfect candidates for Experiment in Torture, the latest thing to crawl out of the toilet over at Lionsgate.
A group of money hungry strippers agree to spend sometime out at a filmmaker’s house while he video tapes them going about their daily business. The only problem is there’s no filmmaker, cameras or money. However, there is plenty of torture! Wait, no, scratch that.
Experiment in Torture contains nothing that its title suggests. There are no experiments to be had and the torture isn’t really anything like we’ve seen in films such as Hostel and even the flop known as Captivity. What we do get instead are strippers that don’t strip, but one looks to have herpes on her bottom lip, and that is torturous to watch. Does that count?
These low budget films that Lionsgate curled up into stinky lumps on our front door never amount to anything more than pain. Not the good kind like watching a chick get hacked up. No, it’s pain as in we’d rather slice off our own cocks than sit through another five minutes of this drivel. Where were the experiments? Where was the torture?
Let’s take a look at what EiT tried to pass off as the goods while trying to cash in on the torture porn fad:
So, where were the experiments and torture again? I am not really seeing anything there that counts as either. If things weren’t confusing enough, viewers are thrown for a loop when the good looking villain pulls off his perfect mask to reveal a huge scar on the left side of his face. Who does his make-up? It is an amazing feat to not only hide your protruding deformity under some latex, but the mask also makes you grow a new eye that works perfectly! Wow!!!
Do we really need to go on? At the end of the day Experiment in Torture can be summed up in one word: shit. It doesn’t deserve any more than that. Hell, it hardly deserved a review that consisted of more than that word being repeated over and over. A movie is in pretty bad shape when you don’t even want to do it the honor of calling it a shit-pickle. Thanks EiT for giving us neither experiments or torture. We’ll stick to Eli Roth if we want a good flick in the torture porn sub-genre.
1 out of 5