Directed by Ulli Lommel
Distributed by Lionsgate
Hi! Welcome to Hell! Today we will be showing you H.P. Lovecraft’s The Tomb which is directed by that master of celluloid, Ulli Lommel. We hope you enjoy your stay in the abyss of eternal damnation and that this film will help in easing the infinite amount of suffering our lord, Satan, has planned for you. Starbucks coffee and coconut covered jelly rolls are available in the Kitchen of Despair.
That, my friends, is exactly what the first level of hell is like. It is a orientation to get you ready for the endless torment that awaits the wicked. Before you are pushed into the pit you sit in a cramped theatre and are shown one of Ulli Lommel’s films. There’s no popcorn, hand jobs or even screaming babies to distract you from the shit storm that is playing on the screen. You … are fucked.
How dare Ulli Lommel associate himself with anything Lovecraft created. When one thinks of H.P. it is doubtful that the first thought that would come to mind would be a Saw knock-off, a jumbled plot, and rape. A real effort has to be made in order to fuck up a short/basic Lovecraft story on a low budget. It takes a special kind of talent to take the creepy work of that famed writer and turn it into a vile and boring waste of energy.
Kicking things off with the budget, when was the last time this man even made a halfway decent movie with a budget over $5,000? Sometime in the 1980s, perhaps? The returns must be really good on Lommel’s films if the studios are willing waste time and money on more of his endeavors. The plan must be to make a movie as cheap and quick as possible just so you can continue to receive a paycheck. Gotta love a man who will cheat not only the system but horror fans as well.
Speaking of cheating … it looks like this latest Lommel DVD doesn’t have his name anywhere on it until you read the fine print on the back. A quick glance at the cover would have many believing this may be a good buy or rental. There’s not even a single screen shot on the back, just lots of stylized images that don’t really appear in the final product. Lionsgate also looks to be shying away from associating with Ulli since their logo is so tiny and tucked away in a corner unlike previous releases from this director.
So is it as bad as the previous paragraphs make it seem? Oh, yes!
In an attempt to capture fans of the Saw franchise Ulli Lommel has crafted a story that has almost nothing to do with H.P. Lovecraft’s The Tomb. Instead of a story about Jervas Dudley and his exploits in a crypt we get a ripoff of Jigsaw complete with distorted voice, references to playing a game and some of the worst audio ever put onto a film.
A man known as the Puppetmaster has abducted many people who have done him wrong in the past and placed them in a warehouse full of death and torment. Each person is either slightly injured or just totally fucked up with massive wounds thanks to the master’s large plastic axe; how a person can survive and act normal after having a large axe planted in their skull is beyond me. The victims who can overcome their injuries can attempt to play the Puppetmaster’s game in order to live, but only one can be victorious.
After what seems like an hour of nothing but muted voices and dead people in caskets one of the captives does manage to escape and finds a Porsche parked outside. The freshly freed chick then proceeds to drive to a motel room where she is raped. Ah, now that is a story that makes total sense. She bashes the guy over the head with a lamp and the movie is over.
Well, at least Ulli got the Saw rip-off out of the way so now he can focus on the next big thing in horror. One thing he still seems to be obsessed with is rape though. It appears that the last three that I’ve seen always have at least one scene of a woman being forced to have sex with someone. This may be a bit unhealthy.
What can really be said about this movie? It was just bad. Not only was it shit, but it was cheap shit. After about 81 minutes it is easy to see all of The Tomb‘s props came from Party City. It is not easy to strike fear into an audience when the bad guy is sitting at a Mac computer with bargain bin Halloween decorations surrounding him. Being a badass does not happen by painting skull faces on dolls.
In short The Tomb is yet another in a long line of horrible movies from Lommel. The lack of a quality cast, script or even camera work show that this man isn’t even trying to make entertaining pictures. His main goal is to keep the cash flowing in so he can one day remake his forgotten Boogeyman movie. Get ready Party Warehouse! Ulli is going to clean you out when those fake hands and plastic cauldrons go on sale!
• Awesome Unrated Digital Mastering!!!
0 out of 5
0 out of 5
Discuss The Tomb in our forums!
Suspiria U.K. Blu-ray Review – Argento’s Masterpiece In Stunning 4K Clarity
Starring Jessica Harper, Stefania Casini, Flavio Bucci, Udo Kier
Directed by Dario Argento
Distributed by CultFilms
Although the 40th anniversary of Dario Argento’s seminal giallo masterpiece Suspiria passed only last year, plans for that milestone had been underway for years. Unbeknownst to all but the most diehard fans, restorative work was ongoing for a long while, most notably under the masterful eye of Synapse’s Don May, Jr., leading up to a grand unveiling of the all-new 4K picture that had been perfected and tweaked endlessly. That version of the film toured across the country at select events, giving fans an opportunity to watch Argento’s colorful classic with a picture more vibrant and full of pop than ever before. Even the original English 4.0 audio track from 1977 was restored to its former glory. Between all of the loving care Suspiria received, as well as the wealth of Argento reissues on Blu-ray, this is a good time to be a fan of his early works.
There are, however, actually two 4K restorations that were done for Suspiria; one, by Don May Jr., while the other was performed by TLEFilms FRPS in Germany. This is the same master used for home video release in Europe and Australia. Fans have viewed and picked apart both transfers, though you would have to be one of the ultra-purists to enter that debate and engage anyone willing to discredit either image. The job done by Synapse is extraordinary and the same can also be said for the work done by TLEFilms. This release by CultFilms features the TLEFilms restoration, making it either an attractive alternative to Synapse’s (currently OOP) steelbook release or a nice supplement for fans who wish to own both 4K versions.
Suspiria has been viewed and reviewed and discussed an endless amount of times and there are no undiscussed criticisms or introspective viewpoints I am likely to offer that haven’t been made before. Argento has long been an example of style over substance and Suspiria is his most emblematic work in that regard. American Suzy Bannion (Jessica Harper) arrives in Germany at a prestigious all-girls dance academy late one rainy night. Girls have mysteriously vanished from the compound in recent days, with more to follow. Suzy is coldly greeted and frequently uncomfortable during her stay. Eventually she uncovers a plot involving witchcraft and murder. The story is less thrilling than the ride, which is a kaleidoscope of horror. Argento uses every trick in his bag, from inventive camera movement to ingenious framing, and the use of colored filters to evoke a mood so many have attempted to replicate.
The real interest many will have with this review is in regard to the picture quality. As I said before, the 2.35:1 1080p image provided by TFEFilms’ exhaustive restoration work is nothing short of astounding. This looks like a film that might have been made last year, never mind over four decades ago. The image is razor sharp, exceedingly clear and completely free of blemishes, dirt, debris, scratches, fluctuations, and jitter. The picture could not appear more stable, with the contrast rock solid and coloration a thing of beauty. Primaries leap off the screen with vibrancy even longtime fans will admit is a shocking surprise. Watching this picture in action is a true treat. Detailing is exquisite, revealing every little nuance in Argento’s framing. Simply put, this is a flawless image that ranks among the upper echelon of reference-quality Blu-ray transfers.
Similarly, the audio is no slouch with options available in both English and Italian, each receiving both a DTS-HD MA 5.1 surround sound track and an LPCM 2.0 option. The multi-channel track is the clear winner here, proving a deep, immersive audible experience that completely envelops the viewer in both Argento’s world and Goblin’s phenomenal score. Seriously, the soundtrack for Suspiria has never been as unsettling and overpowering as it is here, filling every corner of your home theater room with a palpable sense of dread. Subtitles are, of course, available in English.
Please note: this release is locked to Region B, meaning you must have a compatible player to watch the disc.
This release also features different bonus material from the Synapse release, with an emphasis here placed on the restoration process. Completists may want to add this disc to their collection because it not only offers up a different-but-equal a/v presentation but also a new collection of bonus features.
An audio commentary is included, provided by film critics/authors Alan Jones and Kim Newman.
“The Restoration Process” is a nearly one-hour piece that examines every step along the way in bringing Suspiria back to such stunning life. Technical talk abounds here; definitely for fans who want a glimpse into the nerdier side of making movies look pretty again.
“Argento Presents His Suspiria” is a new interview with the director, who surprisingly doesn’t seem sick to death of talking about this film yet.
“Fear at 400 Degrees: The Cine-Excess of Suspiria” offers up critical appraisal of the film’s visual style, featuring interviews with critics, theorists, and others involved in making the film.
“Suspiria Perspectives” offers up more in-depth discussion of the film, covering both this feature and similar Italian pictures made during that era.
A DVD copy of the feature is also included. The two-disc set sits within a slick, shiny embossed slipcover with the film’s logo in metallic silver. It’s kinda sexy.
- The Restoration Process
- Argento Presents His Suspiria
- Fear at 400 Degrees: The Cine-Excess of Suspiria
- Suspiria Perspectives
- Audio Commentary
Looking better than ever before, Cult Films’ release of this giallo classic is welcomed as both a more affordable (current) alternative to the U.S. release and as a complement to it, since this edition has a slight variation in picture quality and a selection of different and insightful bonus features.
Victor Crowley Blu-ray Review – Killer Special Features Make This a Must-Own
Directed by Adam Green
Distributed by Dark Sky Films
Like many of you horror fans out there, I was surprised as hell when Adam Green announced that there was not only going to be the fourth entry in his famed Hatchet series but that the movie had already been filmed and was going to be screening across the country.
Of course, I wanted to get to one of those screenings as soon as possible, but unfortunately, there were no events in my neck of the woods here in Gainesville, Fl., and so I had to bide my time and await the Blu-ray.
Then a few days ago, the Blu-ray for Victor Crowley landed on my doorstep and I jumped right into watching the film. Short story, I loved it. But we’ll get into all of that more in-depth below. For now, let’s do a quick rundown on the film for those two or three horror fans out there who aren’t familiar with the film and its premise.
Victor Crowley is the fourth entry in the Hatchet series, a franchise that follows the tale of a deformed man that accidentally met the wrong end of his father’s hatchet long ago and now roams the Louisiana swamp each night as a “Repeater”, aka a ghost that doesn’t know it is dead and thus cannot be killed. Ever. Well, maybe not ever. After all, Victor was supposedly killed at the end of Hatchet III by a combination of Danielle Harris, his father’s ashes, and a grenade launcher. Dead to rights, right? Not so much.
In this fourth entry/reboot, a group of indie horror filmmakers, lead by the adorable Katie Booth, accidentally resurrect Crowley just as the original trilogy’s lone survivor (Parry Shen) is visiting the swamp one final time in the name of cold hard cash. Long story short, Shen’s plane crashes with his agent (Felissa Rose), his ex-wife (Krystal Joy Brown), and her film crew in tow. Some survive the initial crash, some don’t. As you can imagine, the lucky ones died first.
Victor Crowley is a true return to form for Adam Green, who sat out of the director’s chair on the third film. As always, Green doesn’t shy away from the over-the-top comedy and gore the franchise is well known for. The blood rages and the sight-gags hit fast and unexpectedly. And, speaking of the sight-gags, there’s evidently a shot in this Blu-ray version of the film that was cut from the “Unrated” version released on VOD. The shot is one I won’t spoil here, but for the sake of viewing Green’s initial vision alone, the Blu-ray for Victor Crowley is really the only way to own this film. Don’t get me wrong, there are (many) more reasons to shell out the cash for this Blu-ray, but I’ll get into those soon.
Back to the film itself, what makes this fourth entry in the series one of the very best Hatchet films (if not THE best) is Adam Green’s honesty. Not only does he conquer a few demons with the ex-wife subplot, but he gives us a truly tragic moment via Tiffany Shepis’ character that had me in stunned silence. Her death is not an easy kill to pull off in a notoriously over-the-top slasher series, but it earned mucho respect from this guy.
Basically, if you loved the original trilogy, you will love this one as well. If you mildly enjoyed the other films, this one will surely make you a fan. Slow clap, Adam Green.
Let it be known that I’m a massive fan of fly-on-the-wall filmmaking documentaries. Like many of you out there, I find film production to be utterly fascinating and thus have grown a little tired of the typical making-of featurettes we get on Blu-rays. You know the ones. The director talks about his vision for the film, the cast say how much fun they had on-set with the other actors and crew, and we get cutaways to people dancing and trying to kiss the behind-the-scenes camera – all usually set to upbeat music.
While I’ll take what I can get, these kinds of behind-the-scenes features have grown to be little more than tiresome and superficial. But no worries here my friends as Adam Green has pulled out all the BS and given us a full-length, 90-minute behind-the-scenes feature called “Fly on the Wall” that shows it how it really is on the set.
Highlights include new Hatchet D.P. Jan-Michael Losada, who took over for Will Barratt this time around, who is little less than a f*cking hilarious rockstar, a front row seat to the making of Felissa Rose’s death scene, a creepy-cool train ghost story prank by Green, a clever impromptu song via Krystal Joy Brown (Sabrina), and a fun bit towards the end where Green and the SFX crew create the “gore inserts” in (basically) the backyard after filming. Good times all around.
The documentary then ends with the Facebook Live video of Adam Green announcing Victor Crowley‘s surprise premiere at that Hatchet 10th Anniversary screening. A great way to end a killer making-of documentary making his disc a must-own for this special feature alone.
But wait, it gets better. On top of the film itself and the above-mentioned “Fly on the Wall” documentary, the disc features an extensive interview with Adam Green called “Raising the Dead… Again.” This interview is basically Green going over the same speech he gave to the crowd at the surprise unveiling shown at the end of the “Fly on the Wall” doc, but that said, it’s great to hear Green tells his inspiring story to us directly.
So while this feature treads water all of us have been through below (especially fans of Green’s podcast The Movie Crypt), Green is always so charming and brutally honest that we never get tired of him telling us the truth about the ins-and-outs of crafting horror films in this day and age. Again, good stuff.
Additionally, the disc also boasts two audio commentaries, one with Adam Green and actors Parry Shen, Laura Ortiz, and Dave Sheridan, and another “technical” commentary with Adam Green, cinematographer Jan-Michael Losada, editor Matt Latham, and make-up effects artist Robert Pendergraft.
Add in the film’s teaser and trailer, and Victor Crowley is a must-own on Blu-ray.
- Audio commentary with writer/director Adam Green and actors Parry Shen, Laura Ortiz, and Dave Sheridan
- Audio commentary with writer/director Adam Green, cinematographer Jan-Michael Losada, editor Matt Latham, and make-up effects artist Robert Pendergraft
- Raising the Dead… Again – Extensive interview with writer/director Adam Green
- Behind the Scenes – Hour-long making-of featurette
One of the best, if not THE best, entries in the Hatchet series, with special features that are in-depth and a blast (and considering all other versions of the film have been castrated for content), this Blu-ray is really the only way to own Adam Green’s Victor Crowley.
Who Goes There Podcast: Ep 152 – Cloverfield Paradox & The Ritual
Last week Netflix shocked the world by not only releasing a new trailer for Cloverfield Paradox during the Superbowl, but announcing the film would be available to stream right after the game. In a move no one saw coming, Netflix shook the film industry to it’s very core. A few days later, Netflix quietly released horror festival darling: The Ritual.
Hold on to your Higgs Boson, because this week we’ve got a double header for ya, and we’re not talking about that “world’s largest gummy worm” in your mom’s nightstand. Why was one film marketed during the biggest sporting event of the year, and why was one quietly snuck in like a pinky in your pooper? Tune in a find out!
Meet me at the waterfront after the social for the Who Goes There Podcast episode 152!
If you like what you hear, please consider joining our Patreon subscribers. For less than the cost of a beer, you get bonus content, exclusive merchandise, special giveaways, and you get to help us continue doing what we love.
The Who Goes There Podcast is available to subscribe to on iTunes right here. Not an iTunes user? You can listen on our Dread Central page. Can’t get enough? We also do that social media shit. You’ll find us on Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, Twitch, and YouTube.
Join the Box of Dread Mailing List
Jamie Lee Curtis Says Blumhouse Halloween Will Make Us “Very Happy and VERY Scared”
Get a Behind-the-Scenes Peek at Pre-Production for Marcel Walz’s New Film
Death House Theatrical Release Delayed One Week Due to Black Panther Success
Rumor: Stephen King’s IT: Chapter 2 Starts Shooting this Summer
Insidious: The Last Key Unlocks on Home Video
Exclusive: Saw Escape Room Las Vegas Review, Video Interviews with Creator Jason Egan and Series Star Tobin Bell
Hellraiser: Judgment Review – Pinhead Returns in a Truly Solid Sequel
Winchester: Before the Movie, See Dread Central’s Paranormal Investigation of the Actual Winchester Mansion
First Look at the Samurais vs. Kaiju Medieval Monster Movie Koujin
Silent Hill: Revelation Director Opens Up On Movie’s Failings; “It Was a Nightmare Dance”
Ron Bonk’s Positively Bonkers House Shark Ready to Swim Home
New Trailer Takes You to A Quiet Place
Cult TV Mini-Series V Big-Budget Film Adaptation Announced
Hellraiser: Judgment – Exclusive Gag Reel Will Have You Giggling
Gorgeous Highly Limited Edition Signed Copies of Stephen King’s Misery Coming This Summer
News6 days ago
First Look: Metallica’s James Hetfield and Zac Efron’s Ted Bundy Face-Off
Editorials5 days ago
Why Netflix and David Bruckner’s The Ritual Scared the Hell Out Of Me
News5 days ago
Five Chilling Period Haunted House Movies
News5 days ago
NECA Reveals Captain Blake Figure From John Carpenter’s The Fog
News5 days ago
Guillermo del Toro Says The Shape of Water Sex Toy is Not Accurate
Editorials4 days ago
Exclusive: Talking Vietnamese Ghost Stories and Gothic Horror with The Housemaid Writer-Director Derek Nguyen
Editorials2 days ago
10 Terrifying Moments from Kids’ Movies That Haunted Our Childhoods
News4 days ago
Dark Sky Films Castrates Victor Crowley on VOD – BUYER BEWARE!