Directed by Declan O’Brien
Distributed by Fox Home Entertainment
The last time I reviewed a Wrong Turn movie, it was Wrong Turn 4: Bloody Beginnings, after which director Declan O’Brien wrote me a note that said simply “go fuck yourself.” This was mainly because I said the prequel was “the Congo of slasher movies. A circus of ridiculousness! Yes, it’s bad. Yes it’s juvenile. Yes, it’s mindless, but I’d watch it again in a heartbeat.” I rated it a 2 1/2 out of 5 overall and a 4 out of 5 for pure entertainment value. Truth be told, I LOVE that flick, but O’Brien saw my review as a form of ridicule. Now he’s back with Wrong Turn 5: Bloodlines, and I’m happy to say the absurdity of the fourth film is perfectly intact with a lot of bells and whistles serving only to elevate the flick.
Okay, so this is a sequel to the prequel and takes place sometime between Part 4 and the original Wrong Turn. A group of sex-hungry kids are making their way to the annual Mountain Man Festival to get stoned, listen to music, and of course fuck their brains out. Unfortunately for them the town hosting this event is also home to our three favorite cannibalistic brothers: One Eye, Saw Tooth, and the ever cackling Three Finger. The boys, however, are not alone. Wrong Turn 5: Bloodlines also introduces their pack master, Maynard, played by a deliciously evil Doug Bradley, who seems to be having the absolute time of his life. Of course bad things happen that result in Maynard being captured by the police, and it’s up to the brothers to bust him out by causing as much blood-drenched chaos as humanly possible.
Bradley chews scenery with the kind of reckless abandon that the cannibals would have during their own twisted version of Thanksgiving, and his presence alone elevates the film above the sequels and prequel. Sure, his accent slips in every now and again, but who cares? Wrong Turn 5: Bloodlines has its fair share of the usual problems that can plague a low-budget film, but believe me when I tell you you’re not going to give the slightest shit, as the flick is just too much fun. O’Brien is very sure of himself and the world of these creatures, and it shows. He directs with confidence and exhibits the energy of a lunatic gorehound who tries his best to come up with the most insanely grisly ways to kill our characters. Wrong Turn 5: Bloodlines exhibits the kind of no holds barred carnage that this series has become known for – everything on the screen is shown off in ghastly detail, almost completely practical with some slight CG enhancements here and there.
This isn’t high art and certainly isn’t going to win any prestigious awards, but damn it, it’s not trying to either. Like the last film, this is very much a fans’ flick, made for them with all the loving sickness that could possibly be conveyed in ninety minutes.
The special features are fun in and of themselves and consist of the standard making-of fare, including a look at the F/X and some director’s Die-aries in which we follow the progress of getting this sick puppy to the screen. Of special note is the commentary, which features a far more laid back Declan O’Brien, who has loosened up and seems to be enjoying the rotten fruits of his labors.
Once again, despite its shortcomings and inconsistencies, including a stay in the most deserted well populated town in movie history, WT5 delivers exactly what you would expect. If you’re not a fan of the franchise, this fifth film certainly isn’t going to convert you. But if you’re looking for the best case of turn your brain off fun you’re likely to find this year, then Wrong Turn 5: Bloodlines will hit the mark for you with an especially squishy splat.
That being said… Declan, if you’re reading this… “I fuck you back!”
3 1/2 out of 5
4 out of 5
3 out of 5