Reviewed by Uncle Creepy
Starring Cary Elwes, Michael Biehn, Gabriel Mann, Sara Foster
Directed by Andrew Shortell
Distributed by Lionsgate Home Entertainment
We’ve been covering Andrew Shortell’s Psych: 9 for what feels like forever. Finally it’s here and has come home courtesy of Lionsgate and Ghost House Underground, and after watching it, we’ve been reminded of an old adage – some things are better left unsaid or, in the case of this movie, unseen.
At its core Psych: 9 is the tale of Roslyn, a woman with a troubled past (Foster) who takes a job at a recently closed down hospital, where she ends up suffering through a series of horrid events that could tie directly into a secret she’s been harboring from her past. Meanwhile, there’s a serial killer on the loose in the area that may or may not be connected to Roslyn.
Sound kind of familiar? That’s because it is. Too familiar. What we have here is your basic horror plot laid out in a manner that utilizes every possible cliché and overused plot device that it can in rapid fire succession. Things start off well enough, but by the time we reach the finale and its “shocking” conclusion, you’ll either be asleep or unable to focus your eyes due to the excessive amount of rolling you’ll put them through by the flick’s last frame.
Filmed in Saw-vision™ complete with a palette of hues consisting of an array of dirty yellow and greens, director Shortell truly tries his best but is unable to rein in his actors who are — much like the film itself — all over the place. Riddled with melodrama and ham-fisted dialogue like “Excuse me, may I use your telephone? I have to make a personal phone call,” there are moments in this mess that are nothing short of cringe inducing. Sure, there are a couple of great jolts and spooky instances to be had, but, wow, does the bad outweigh the good here.
Yes, the Blu-ray looks better than the DVD, but the transfer on both is pretty murky. If you do decide to pick this one up, the difference in quality is minimal at best. Especially since the same special features are included in either package. Speaking of which …
Much like the film itself, the supplemental material is certainly nothing to write home about. We get a cookie-cutter making-of featurette, several deleted scenes, around twenty minutes of unfunny outtakes, and a trailer gallery. Will you watch any of them after seeing the movie? Probably not.
In short, if you’re in the market for a spooky little tale concerning abandoned hospitals, murder, and lunatics, there are so many other options out there that it’s impossible to recommend this to anyone. It’s all been done before and done much better.
2 out of 5
2 1/2 out of 5
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