Dead Story (2017)
Matt Boiselle
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Starring Kelsey Deanne, Chase Austin, Sheril Rodgers
Directed by Suneel Tripuraneni
I figured the time had to come sooner or later – I’d been on a fairly good run of at some films that contained at the LEAST, some modicum of enjoyability…then I cracked open the pages to this Dead Story.
Centering around a couple (Deanne and Austin), Anne and Harold are taking the leap and moving into that dream house that they’ve always been on the hunt for – now here’s the problem, and it’s stated quite matter-of-factly in the beginning of the film. As they overlook the new property, Harold, in a moment of sedentary reflection utters to Anne: “I can’t believe this house was on the market for 5 years” – and THAT didn’t raise a bit of a red-flag for ya? Turns out that many moons ago, there were multiple slayings at the ranch-styled abode, with no explanation of how they happened. So here we are, present day, and our two lovebirds are setting themselves up for quite the living arrangement, now sharing space with a Ring-like Samara doppleganger who likes to stab, stab, stab her post-mortem problems away. Seriously…it’s the drowned-rat chick with a knife in her hands – the creative explosion here to deliver a non-frightening entity is mind-blowing at best (heavy sarcasm included). As time rolls along, Harold spends excessive hours at his job, leaving Anne alone to deal with this angry spectre, and it’s not the only shrew in the place on occasion. Harold’s nastier-than-a-one-eyed-snake Momma (Rodgers), sporadically checks in on her baby boy, and spits venom at the “hussy who stole her son from her”- okay, maybe not EXACTLY in those words, but the implication is there.
In actuality, Harold’s mom is the only true frightening force here, as there really isn’t much to get freaked out about. Anne’s frequent run-ins with the malevolent dark-haired gal have left her frazzled, and the members of the family look at her like she should be wearing an “I love me” jacket in a padded room somewhere. The remainder of this pseudo-ghost flick is unfortunately as predictable and transparent as one wouldn’t hope for. Outside of Rodgers’s scathing performance as the ultimate “evil mother”, the rest of the cast make it far too easy to not give a rip about any of their safety in the situation – in some films it works to a glorious advantage, and in other facets it can drag a movie down to a seriously regrettable level. Tempo during stretches is painfully slow, and it does nothing to assist in the buildup of potential scare-scenes…to which there aren’t any to make mention of. I’ve never claimed to be a film expert – hell, I’m just a fan who’s been watching this stuff for decades and can tell films that look as if they were made simply to pass the time, with no real creative effort behind them, and this one fits to a T. My advice, take a long, long pass on this Story, and crack a book or two – it certainly would be less painful than subjecting yourself to this.
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Film
Categorized:Reviews
