Reviewed by Uncle Creepy
Starring Jessica Lowndes, Julianna Guill, Ryan Donowho, Landon Liboiron, Jake Weary
Directed by Kaare Andrews
Distributed by Anchor Bay Entertainment
Three words, dear reader … soul crushing disappointment. While that may sound overly dramatic, somehow it completely fits when discussing Kaare Andrews’ long awaited Cthulhu in the sky flick Altitude. Before we get to all that, though, let’s bring you up-to-speed.
Suffice it to say that the plot line takes many different twists and turns so in the interest of staying spoiler free, we’re just going to give you the gist of things. Four kids in what I’m guessing is their late teens/early twenties embark upon a weekend getaway they they decide to head to via tiny airplane flown by the group’s resident pilot played by Lowndes. Of course things go wrong and an equipment malfunction sends them flying high into the clouds on a constant ascent, where they encounter a massive tentacled sky monster. The story ripped from the pages of an old EC comic is deliciously goofy and totally up any monster fan’s alley.
The first two thirds of the movie will have you rockin’ and rollin’ as Andrews displays one hell of an eye for the camera and each of the kids gives 110% acting-wise. There are parts that you’ll be wishing you could have seen on the big screen as thus far it proves to totally belong there. But then it happens. The third act. The reveal. The final twist down the Holy Cow, Is this Really Going to Hell in a Hand Basket Highway comes with a finale so punishingly stupid that any interest or fun you’re having with Altitude dissipates into … well … thin air. Your eyes will be rolling like a ball down a hill, and the urge to pop the disc from your player and snap it in half will be really hard to resist.
It may sound like I’m being harsh, and I guess I am, but only because I was loving Altitude, I mean really loving it, until it all went south like a lead balloon. Who knows? I could be way off the mark. Maybe the twist will work for you. I really hope so because there’s so very much to like here. Don’t let this review discourage you from seeing the film. Make up your own mind.
In terms of picture quality and sound, yes, Altitude is a good watch on DVD, but in Blu-ray hi-def it’s nothing short of stunning. If you have the tech, this is a no-brainer, so yeah, have at it.
The supplemental features are comprised of a great commentary with Andrews (which makes things seem all the more tragic), two quick featurettes, and a concept art gallery. Nothing bad, but nothing to write home about either.
Altitude is a lot like dating a super hot chick and, when it comes down to business, finding yourself holding a sausage that is not your own. For my money, despite all of its eye candy and cool monster effects, this flick will get you anything but high.
2 1/2 out of 5
2 1/2 out of 5
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