Scream Queen’s Survival Guide, The (Book)

The Scream Queen's Survival GuideReviewed by Elaine Lamkin

Written by Meredith O’Hayre

Published by Adams Media

After another productive day of browsing bookstores (the Halloween stuff is coming out!), I happened to be in the Humor section at Barnes & Noble when a book caught my eye: The Scream Queen’s Survival Guide: Avoid Machetes, Defeat Evil Children, Steer Clear of Bloody Dismemberment, and Conquer Other Horror Movie Clichés. Of course I HAD to take a look at it, and boy am I glad!! This is a nifty little guide to over 100 life or death situations that the most famous Scream Queens (Jamie Lee, Neve, etc.) learned in their seminal films. In the book you will learn such lessons as:

  • Be Wary of Days That Begin “Much Like Any Other”
  • Nutty or Nice, Be Kind to Your Mother
  • Think Twice About That “Blondes Have More Fun” Thing
  • Ditch the Girl Who Can’t Stop Crying
  • Steer Clear of Small Town Law Enforcement
  • If You Have Anger Issues, Don’t Take a Job as Caretaker for an Isolated Hotel
  • Don’t Ask “Who’s There?” Just Run!
  • If Your Dad Claims He’s Received a Calling from God, Tell Him to Take a Message

    And many, many more.

    The author also tosses in trivia, goofs, and her favorite moments from some of the most well-known horror movies ever, and as this book was just published, there are some VERY recent movies covered. Meredith O’Hayre is, herself, not a scream queen but a book editor in Massachusetts who grew up surviving a babysitting job in a cemetery (I would LOVE to hear THAT story) and trespassing on the grounds of an abandoned insane asylum (Danvers and Session 9, anyone?).

    The book is serious about horror movies, but there is a lot of humor here as well (she notes that the zombies in Night of the Living Dead moved so slowly that the film HAD to have been shot in slo-mo) and “Don’t Let Your Son Ride His Tricycle Indoors” (statistically speaking, you’re better off with daughters). She also has a list of her Must-See Scary Films (I don’t agree with some of her choices, but then who would agree 100% with another person’s taste?).

    This is definitely a book every horror fan should add to his or her library, and with your Halloween budget ready to be spent, this is an excellent place to start.

    4 out of 5

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