Bitch Slap (DVD)

Bitch Slap on DVDReviewed by Uncle Creepy

Starring Julia Voth, Erin Cummings, America Olivo, Debbie Lee Carrington, Michael Hurst, Ron Melendez, Kevin Sorbo, William Gregory Lee

Directed by Rick Jacobson

Distributed by Fox Home Entertainment

We’re all fans of Russ Meyer’s big boobed exploitation flicks from back in the day that were equal parts breasty and silly. Pretty much anyone with a penis or an affinity for women can attest to their cheesecake value. They were products of their time and delivered exactly what they promised. Bitch Slap was a film made to honor those movies and then some. Does it succeed? Eh, not so much.

The story is convoluted and told in a seemingly endless array of badly greenscreened flashbacks. In a nutshell — a stripper, an ex-con, and a thief try their hand at uncovering a motherlode of stolen diamonds from a vicious gangster’s hideout. This leads them to the desert, where they engage in all manner of fighting from fisticuffs to hot lead.

Bitch Slap on DVDTruth be told, a movie like this doesn’t need much of a storyline. It just has to be chock full of violence, nudity, sex, and most of all, fun. Instead Bitch Slap offers us some violence (mostly fistfights), hardly any nudity (not one of our stars even flashes a nipple), safe sex (our loving lesbians screw fully clothed), and the type of manic forced action that plays more headache inducing than it does fun. Although, if you’re prepubescent or in your early teens, you may find this to be one of the best movies ever made.

Really, what happened here? Don’t get me wrong; I don’t care about nudity in a movie all that much, but when your emulating something as distinct as a Russ Meyer flick, shouldn’t you at least stick to the formula? Even worse, all of the above shortcomings make the script and the acting come off glaringly worse than they should have because there’s nothing to cheer the filmmakers for. What we have here is an extremely literal absence of TIT for tat!

The DVD is home to two commentary tracks, one by Rick Jacobson (Writer/Producer/Director), Eric Gruendemann (Writer/Producer), and Brian Peck (Associate Producer), and the other by the principal cast: Julia Voth (Trixie), Erin Cummings (Hel), and America Olivo (Camero). Here’s another problem … clocking in at nearly an hour and forty-five minutes, the film feels impossibly long. Whether or not you want to sit through the flick again with commentary is a tough choice to make. If you’re gonna dig on just one, make it the cast commentary as it is kind of fun and the girls do a great job of not taking anything too seriously. From there we have a feature-length documentary called Building a Better B-Movie, which proves to be a bit more interesting than the film itself.

That being said, if you’re looking for what essentially plays like either the hottest thing a thirteen-year-old has ever seen or a one-hundred-and-nine-minute cocktease for adults, then Bitch Slap is the movie you’ve been waiting for! Everyone else may want to steer clear of this juvenile slice of imitation sleazoid Americana.

Special Features

  • Commentary by Rick Jacobson (Writer/Producer/Director), Eric Gruendemann (Writer/Producer) and Brian Peck (Associate Producer)
  • Commentary by principal cast: Julia Voth (Trixie), Erin Cummings (Hel) and America Olivo (Camero)
  • Building a Better B-Movie documentary
  • Film:

    2 out of 5

    Special Features:

    3 out of 5

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    • Terminal

      “Bitch Slap” was not a good movie. No. It wasn’t. Not good. Nope. Not good. I don’t plan on seeing it again. Sigh.
      “We are bad guys. That means we’ve got more to do other than bullying companies. It’s fun to lead a bad man’s life.”

      • Uncle Creepy

        You were warned, my friend!

        • Terminal

          I brought it on myself.
          “We are bad guys. That means we’ve got more to do other than bullying companies. It’s fun to lead a bad man’s life.”

        • LifeMi

          Anytime you or Foy give a warning about a movie, I make a point to avoid it as a rule now. I didn’t heed your warning about Strawberry Estates and paid dearly.

    • Vanvance1

      I’m really disappointed to read this review as I was looking forward to the movie. Strange that our society seems to be getting more Victorian by the decade. What’s wrong with breasts?

      • Pestilence

        There’s absolutely NOTHING wrong with breasts. If only this movie actually had the balls to show them!

        • PelusaMG

          Breasts are glorious… wonderful things! I always said that if I had breasts, I would never need to leave the house. As Kelso said in That 70s Show, breasts are evidence for the existence of God.

          The best breast-movies I have seen recently are “Black Devil Doll”, and (surprisingly) “The Collector”. I’m buying The Collector just for the cinematic glory that is Madeline Zima’s breasts!

          PTL… 🙂

          • Floydian Trip

            I watched Return of the Living Dead last night for the first time and enjoyed the breasts in it. Not alot of breast time but enough. Wasn’t aware shaving was in in the 80’s. I like breasts of various sizes. Large ones are alot of fun but the smaller, cupable ones are quite enjoyable too.

            • Stupid Moron

              About Return,the studio didn’t want to show vagina and made her wear a codpeice. The director talks about it on the commentary and thought it was stupid cause it made her look like a barbie doll down there and you can totally see if you look for it. Any, thought you’d like to know since knowing is half the battle.

    • Terminal

      Sad to see the rating, but I’ll decide for myself. I’ve been in possession of this for a while and since it’s now on DVD, I’ll be giving it a watch tomorrow morning.

      • Pestilence

        Let me know what you think dude. I could forgive the horrible CGI backdrops for a while, but when it gave up on everything it appeared to represent and became a prepubescent wank-fest I just loathed it.

    • LifeMi

      Sad to hear. I’m not big into exploitation flicks, but this looked like it could’ve at least been silly fun. I will take Creepy’s words to heart and steer clear of this one.

    • The Woman In Black

      We had high hopes going in, but it was a huge missed opportunity. Sad, too, because all the girls fit their parts pretty well. It got a bit better as it went along, but yeah, unless you’re a pre-teenaged boy just learning about jerking off, it’s probably best to skip it.

    • Pestilence

      Absolutely hated this movie. The 2/5 knives is a little generous in my opinion. Essentially a wannabe throwback to female empowerment movies that COMPLETELY misses the point and devolves to a 15-minute slow motion wet T-shirt contest.