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Hell Hath No Fury…

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In the last holiday shopping entry (dig it here), I stressed the importance of paying more attention to your inner child by offering it a traditional standby imbued with a little morbid flair. This week, I’m here to help you avoid certain doom by getting you pointed in the direction of all the dark and lovely ladies in your life. Not only do you want to make sure you’ve got those special sweeties on the gift giving radar, you want it to be perfectly obvious that you’ve got the wherewithal and taste to snag ‘em something special yet still cool enough that she’ll allow in the house.

I want your skullsUrban Outfitters is here to help. Not exactly the first place you’d go looking for ghastly accoutrements but someone over there wants to throw us a few bones like these kickin’ skull and spider sheet sets that aren’t just for boys!

Keep away pesky sunlight!Spread these babies on your dream-machine and feel wicked all night long. If the sheets aren’t enough, let the lady coordinate with some blood red and black floral curtains and listen! Be sure to order fast! The bedding items have been discounted which typically means “discontinued” and then you’ll have to pray to the dark ones for them to hit shelves again in the near future. Maybe the walls and boudoir don’t need re-decorating or maybe you’re shopping for a girl who’s better left alone while in Martha Stewart mode.

He's just big-boned!In that case, go for the soft spot 8 out of 10 females have (whether they admit it or not) and get a load of the Creature Co-Op and their undeniably cool I-must-have-one-of-each-NOW plush creations. I’m determined to acquire both Yeti and Porco as soon as possible (and maybe a green Klong) but seriously? They are all totally BADASS and you know she’d love at least two of them.

Don't take him camping...Every monster creation is handmade and with the return/exchange policy looking pretty cut and dry, you could totally buy an entire menagerie and if you can’t figure out how to wrap them all in one big super duper, oh my God what could it BE package? Well then just contact customer service and send some back. I’m sure another, more loving buyer would rather have your orphans anyway… Grinch…

Casual, dressy, only $30Lastly, if monsteriffic plush and trendy yet ghoulish home fashions simply won’t do, there’s always tradition. Not flowers or chocolate (mmm, chocolate…) or perfume but gorgeous shiny, sparkly trinkets. Yessss, hypnotize her with rings and bangles.

Say yes to bootyRecommended by Dread Central’s own personal Woman in Black (yeah that’s capital W, capital B worm), After Dark Jewelry has the selection and quality backing up their designs. The website is a breeze to navigate with specials and best sellers singled out if you’re on a budget or just can’t decide and I must say, After Dark’s methods of displaying their shiny wares are just as fine as the products.

Prices range between $8 and $75 for bracelets, earrings, and necklaces with choices varying from the overtly gothic to ornate and classic pieces. They even have a gift registry service/wish list service.

So yeah, it’s simple. Hell hath no fury indeed and I hope this starter guide has been helpful in preparing you for the enjoyment of the holiday gift giving to come.

And seriously, before Hell could even begin to meekly dip its puny toes into the black depths of a righteously pissed off female, she’d be toasting its sweetmeats over an open fire, casually chatting on her pink, devil horned cell phone…

Don’t let this happen to you!

Michelle Lee

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Who Goes There Podcast: Ep 148 – Inside (2017 Remake)

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We’ve all heard the old saying, “in this world nothing can be said to be certain, except death and taxes.” Well, I’m here to tell you that’s only partially true. It seems there is a third certainty that had been omitted from the original quote, “It is certain, if you enjoy a movie, at some point someone will remake that movie.” Now is the time when one of my favorite movies gets reimagined, “for an American audience”.

In the late 2000’s an explosion of “French extreme” horror films was released. Martyrs and or High Tension can often be found on any number of lists of the “most fucked up horror movies ever”. Unfortunately, the vastly superior Inside is often forgotten (as well as Frontier(s), but that’s a whole ‘nother rant). Now, ten years after it’s initial release, Inside has been Americanized. Don’t worry, we watched it so you don’t have to. You’re welcome.

Mommy says you’re not dead. Is that true? It’s the Who Goes There Podcast episode 148!

If you like what you hear, please consider joining our Patreon subscribers. For less than the cost of a beer, you get bonus content, exclusive merchandise, special giveaways, and you get to help us continue doing what we love.

The Who Goes There Podcast is available to subscribe to on iTunes right here. Not an iTunes user? You can listen on our Dread Central page. Can’t get enough? We also do that social media shit. You’ll find us on FacebookTwitterInstagramTwitch, and YouTube.

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Must-See: Michael Myers Versus Jason Voorhees Fan Short Film

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The short film titled Michael Myers Versus Jason Voorhees made its much-anticipated debut on YouTube channel CallMeJeff86 on January 15th, 2018.

The film is a passion project that pits two horror movie icons against each other; it’s Michael Myers from Halloween against Jason Voorhees from Friday the 13th in a bloody fight to the finish.

What are you waiting for? Give the 3-part short a watch below, and then let us know what you think!

Michael Myers Versus Jason Voorhees is written and directed by Mason C. McDonald and stars Jeff Payne as Michael Myers, Dustin Miller as Jason Voorhees, and John Alton as the Vengeful Father.

Don’t forget to follow the film on Instagram and Twitter!

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PG-13 or R? The Strangers: Prey at Night Gets Official MPAA Rating

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Earlier this week we let you guys know that there is a killer The Strangers: Prey at Night fan art competition going on and you can read all the details on that right HERE.

But today we have some cool (if expected) news that The Strangers: Prey At Night hs officially received an R-rating from the MPAA.

The sequel has been rated R for “horror violence and terror throughout, and for language” and I think that makes about as much sense as we could have expected.

For those who are interested in such bits of trivia, the original The Strangers was rated R for “violence/terror and language” so there you go! Impress your friends with MPAA trivia.

Would The Strangers: Prey at Night getting a PG-13 have affected your enthusiasm for the upcoming film? Let us know below!

The Stranger: Prey at Night is directed by Johannes Roberts (47 Meters Down) from a script by Bryan Bertino and Ben Ketai. It stars Martin Henderson, Christina Hendricks, Bailee Madison, and Lewis Pullman.

The film hits March 9, 2018.

Synopsis:
A family’s road trip takes a dangerous turn when they arrive at a secluded mobile home park to stay with some relatives and find it mysteriously deserted. Under the cover of darkness, three masked psychopaths pay them a visit to test the family’s every limit as they struggle to survive. Johannes Roberts directs this horror film inspired by the 2008 smash hit The Strangers.

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