Grizzly Death Awaits Us

If you watch “The Colbert Report,” then you already know that bears are one of the greatest threats facing America today, fiends of nature that Stephen Colbert accurately describes as “godless killing machines without a soul.” With a great American like Colbert bringing attention to the looming soulless bear threat, is it any coincidence that filmmakers have decided to cash in and exploit our grizzly-related fears? Probably.

This past August saw the first salvo in the entertainment industry’s bearsploitation assault in the form of the Sci-Fi Channel original movie Savage Planet, a film that warned us that even if we travel halfway across the galaxy to an alien world, there will still be bears there waiting to kill us. Now comes word that two more grizzlies gone amok flicks are in production as we speak.

Currently in post-production is the obtusely titled Grizzly Rage. Why is the grizzly feeling such rage? Well, it probably has to do with the group of teenagers that ran over her bear cub. There’s also the little matter of mama bear having taken refuge in an abandoned government facility where our tax money was being used for some sort of nuclear testing. You know what that means? Correct. Radioactive grizzly bear out for revenge!

In an all-too-rare change of pace these days from making horror films with homoerotic overtones, Grizzly Rage was directed by B-movie mainstay David Decoteau (pictured). The film is also just one of ten such flicks that make up a package deal that production company RHI Entertainment just signed with the Sci-Fi Channel to produce for 2007. I realize this was produced for the Sci-Fi Channel (a fact that immediately sets off warning bells since they pretty much demand filmmakers adhere to a certain formula for the films the network specifically commissions – a formula that almost consistently leads to schlocky films that are more aggravatingly banal than cheesy fun), but I’m going to just cross my fingers for Grizzly Rage based solely on the tremendous B-movie potential of a nuclear-enhanced grizzly bear on the rampage flick. We’ll see next year.

Non-official poster for the Grizzly ParkNot to be outdone is Grizzly Park, currently filming up in the mountains of Virginia-Tennessee and produced by‘s very own Nick Nunziata. The indie horrorfest has a park ranger leading a bunch of delinquents up to some campgrounds that they’ve been assigned to clean up as part of their community service. Unfortunately for them… The movie is called Grizzly Park. You do the math.

Not much else is known about Grizzly Park at this time other than it stars Glen Morshower (Best known to fans of “24” as the truly awesome Agent Aaron Pierce) as well as Ron Howard’s dad Rance; and it marks the directing debut of a guy named Tom Skull, which may very well be the greatest name for a horror director ever short of Rob Zombie. Expect to be hearing more about this one very, very soon.

So will there be even more bear scares awaiting moviegoers in the future? Could this be the beginning of a new horror trend? Are killer bear flicks about to displace killer Bigfoot flicks as the current timberland horror flick fad? Only time will tell.

Keep watching the woods.

The Foywonder

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Jon Condit

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