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Boll Will Seed You Soon

No, that's not a real pic of Boll holding a leapord... but damn is it funnyNow that Uwe Boll has successfully proven that a former semi-pro boxer can easily pummel internet movie critics with no pugilistic training, the good doctor can get back to focusing on what he does best: making movies (quality notwithstanding). With In the Name of the King: A Dungeon Siege Tale awaiting a release, his movie version of the video game Postal still filming, and rumors circulating that he’s considering sequels to Alone in the Dark and Bloodrayne (read about those here), Boll has another film on the horizon, one that is not based on a video game. Hard to believe, huh?

Seed, which he already knocked out this past July-August, is an original horror movie written by the man himself. Here’s a synopsis:

“Max Seed, an insane mass murderer, is scheduled for execution at the hands of Warden Wright. Before the executioner throws the switch, Wright steps in front of Seed, “Do you have any last words?” Seed, “I’ll see you again.” After three attempts to electrocute him, boiling blood steeps from Seed’s eyes, but he’s still alive. The executioner, Wright and the doctor collectively agree that the breathing Seed be pronounced dead. He is bound and buried alive. After biting and clawing his way to the surface, Seed, the blood soaked, enraged madman, is now bent on vengeance. The reign of violence that follows will redefine the boundaries of extreme gore, physical, & mental torture explored through cinema.”

As you can tell from that last sentence, Boll is vowing that the $8 million gorefest will set new standards for cinematic carnage. Haven’t the makers of See No Evil and Chaos both already vowed the same exact raising of the bar already this year?

First look at Boll's Seed (ew)!According to the all-purpose Uwe Boll informational website Bollbashers.com, Boll accidentally deleted the Seed script during pre-production. Instead of rushing a rewrite, Boll decided to shoot Seed from memory. If true, then it’s just another amazing footnote in the legend-in-the-making that is Uwe Boll.

One of the first photos to pop up online from Seed shows us Boll regular Will Sanderson as the overalls-luvin’, oddly masked title killer standing next to co-star Michael Pare, who from the looks of this photo appears to be playing the world’s most intense Monday Night Football commentator. Actually, Pare plays a police detective.

The official website for Seed is now online, although there isn’t much more than a title page right now and the film’s current tagline “I’ll see you again.” It might end up being “I’ll see you real soon” since the film is currently going through postproduction overdrive due to Boll wanting to have the film ready for unveiling at the American Film Market just four short weeks from now. Good luck on that one, guys.

Better believe we’ll be keeping you covered on this one. Who knows; maybe this will be the one where Uwe Boll redeems himself. Stranger things have happened. Personally, I’m rooting for the guy because it’ll make for one of the greatest come from behind victories in history.

The Foywonder

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Jon Condit