Lifetime Network Getting Monstrous This Weekend with a Trio of YA Novel-Inspired Slashers, Vampires, and Horny Mermen
Foywonder
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When you think of movies about teens being systematically murdered, vampires stalking the hallowed halls of high school for prey, and young women falling in love with mythological gillmen, you probably don’t think “Lifetime Network!” But this weekend that’s exactly the channel to turn on to get your fix for female-driven, Young Adult novel-inspired movies about mass murder and Twilight reduxing.
It’s September, which means we have officially entered the Halloween season; and Lifetime is getting into the spirit early with three world premiere genre movies this weekend that deviate from their typical fare about women-in-peril, teenage girls making bad life choices, and Fatal Attraction wannabes. Will any of these movies achieve the lofty heights of last year’s trash-tastic Mother, May I Sleep With Danger reboot? Probably not. Yet, here we are.
Lifetime drops the first two this Saturday night, September 16th, with a double feature of bloody murder and bloodsucking. It all begins at 8/7 Central with the world premiere of the Ten: Murder Island, which sounds like a Scream-esque variation of Agatha Christie’s Ten Little Indians.
Synopsis:
Based on the teen horror novel by Gretchen McNeil, Ten: Murder Island is the story of a weekend retreat gone wrong. When an exclusive invitation arrives for a house party on an island for ten teenagers with no parents, Meg (China Anne McClain, “Descendants 2”) ignores her doubts and decides to go with her best friend, Minnie (Cassidy Gifford, “God’s Not Dead”). But when a storm leaves them stuck on the remote island, Meg finds herself navigating frenemies, former crushes, and fools while coming face-to-face with her past and her future. When each of the teens starts to die off, one by one, Meg must solve the connection between herself and the other guests, none of which may be as innocent as they seem. Rome Flynn also stars in the film.
That’s followed at 10/9 Central by the world premiere of the reverse Twilight horror comedy Drink, Slay, Love about a female vampire forced to choose between her bloodsucking brood and the high school hunk she likes to suck face with.
Synopsis:
Pearl (Cierra Ramirez, “The Fosters”) is a typical sixteen-year-old vampire: fond of blood, allergic to the sun, and generally pretty evil. But after a mysterious attack leaves her able to survive in the daylight, everything changes. Pearl’s powerful family soon finds a way to take advantage of her new ability: They send Pearl to high school to gather fresh young blood for an upcoming feast in honor of the Vampire King. The only problem is that Pearl is starting to grow a conscience. How can she serve up her new friends — especially the cute guy who makes her fangs ache — to be slaughtered? Then again, she’s definitely dead if she lets her family down. What’s a sun-loving vamp to do?
On Sunday, September 17th, at 8/7 Central, Lifetime caps off its world premiere weekend with another Twilight knock-off in the form of Sea Change, about a newcomer girl in a New England seaside community forced to choose between the local bad boy and the sexy Selkie that gets her wet in more ways than one.
For those unfamiliar with Selkies, they’re creatures of Irish-Scottish folklore that are said to be seals in the water but can shed their skin and become human on land.
Okay, not so much a girl in love with a merman so much as she’s in love with a human sea cow. Somehow, some way, that actually kind of makes me want to watch it.
Synopsis:
Sea Change, a supernatural drama based on the YA novel by New York Times bestselling author Aimee Friedman, follows Miranda Merchant (newcomer Emily Rudd), a teen girl on a journey to reunite with her estranged mother, Amelia (Maria Dizzia, “Orange Is the New Black”), who lives on a seemingly idyllic island off the coast of New England after the death of her father. As Miranda settles into island life, she finds herself torn between TJ (Keenan Tracey, “Supernatural”), heir to one of the oldest Selkie families, and mysterious bad boy Leo (Skyler Maxon, “Faking It”), who is part of the working class “townies.” When Miranda learns about the Seawalkers, who, according to local legend, are half-human and half-sea creature, she begins to believe that they could be real. As she uncovers more about her family’s past, Miranda makes a startling discovery about her own connections to the Seawalkers.
From what I gather, Sea Change was originally designed to serve as a two-hour pilot for a potential series. Guessing those plans got washed away with the tide?
Given how Lifetime Network often titles its films, I’m kind of surprised none of these is called The Perfect Vampire or The Wrong Seaman.
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