Dread Central's Top 10 Greatest Horrific Couples
Love is in the air! That's right, gorehounds; it's that time of year again. Valentine's Day is here, and we've got a special treat just for you. There has certainly been no shortage of terrifying couples, obsessions and forbidden loves in fright films over the years. Today we bring you our Top 10 Greatest Horrific Couples.
We're not talking about the hero who battles the monster and saves the helpless girl at the end. That's not going to make this list. We're talking about the couples that were somehow uniquely intertwined within a film. Of course first we have our honorable mentions.
We'd have loved to include Leatherface and Stretch from Texas Chainsaw Massacre Part 2 here, but they weren't really a couple as Stretch was just using her womanly wiles to try to escape in one piece. Also, you can't really have a list like this without mentioning Bella Swan and Edward Cullen from The Twilight Saga, just for the sheer volume of loot the films have brought in. We decided, however, to pass on them. Too sappy, even for this list. Vlad and Elisabetha from Francis Ford Coppola's film Bram Stoker's Dracula was another near miss for a love affair that spanned generations. Oh, there's also Adam Green and Joe Lynch, but that one just involves too much body hair.
So without further ado, here, in chronological order, are our Top 10 Greatest Horrific Couples.
King Kong (1933)
King Kong and Ann Darrow
"Oh, no, it wasn't the airplanes...it was Beauty killed the Beast." Isn't that so often the case, fellas? You bend over backwards for your girl, battle monsters on Skull Island, climb the Empire State Building to protect her, and what do you get? That's right, shot down by fighter pilots. I've seen it a million times. But this is a story of true love. Yes, there is the unfortunate bestiality angle that needs to be considered, but Kong truly loved his girl. So what can we learn from this story? Firstly, if you discover a place called Skull Island, best to just stay the hell away from it. But if you must go, don't bring back any souvenirs, especially the hulking over-sized gorilla kind. Because when giant apes get attached to someone, they tend to be a bit overzealous with them. Just a word to the wise.
The Bride of Frankenstein (1935)
The Frankenstein Monster and The Bride
All he ever wanted was to be loved. That's all. We could have saved the time and effort of a lot of torch-wielding angry mobs if we could have just found someone to love the Frankenstein monster. Even The Bride that was created just for him was a little put off by the guy. And that was it. That was the last straw. When another monster created from reassembled and reanimated body parts thought he was too freakish to bear, the Frankenstein monster (always with love in his heart) sent Henry and Elizabeth away and took down the tower with himself, his bride and the diabolical Dr. Pretorius inside. A true case of the dangers of unrequited love.
"The Munsters" and "The Addams Family" (1964)
Herman and Lily Munster/Gomez and Morticia Addams
When we talk about famous horrific couples, you have to consider Herman and Lily of "The Munsters" and Gomez and Morticia of "The Addams Family." Both legendary series hit the airwaves in 1964 and ran for just two seasons each. However, unlike the attempts to reanimate "The Munsters" (which never really took off), Gomez, Morticia, Uncle Fester and the rest of The Addams Family had a pair of successful films in the 90's starring Angelica Huston, Raul Julia and a young Christina Ricci as the memorable Wednesday. Although they were comedic characters, let's be honest; Lily and Herman, as well as Morticia and Gomez, have to be considered among the most memorable and beloved monstrous couples ever.
Fatal Attraction (1987)
Dan Gallagher and Alexandra "Alex" Forrest
Fatal Attraction did for infidelity what Jaws did for swimming in the ocean. Suddenly it did not seem like such a great idea anymore. Glenn Close may never have been more powerful and memorable than in her role of Alex Forrest. She single-handedly scared every man in America into monogamy for at least the summer of 1987. The bunny boiling scene alone was enough to have men returning their zippers to the upright and locked position for awhile. Although not a traditional couple, Dan Gallagher and Alex Forrest are forever locked in their cinematic tryst as his infidelity would undoubtedly haunt his family forever, regardless of the outcome for Alex. The relationship between Dan and Alex was a familiar one, but the result of the fling was anything but. No matter how brief, this was a relationship for the ages that was burned into our memories for life.
The Nightmare Before Christmas (1993)
Jack Skellington and Sally
There may not be another couple in horror cuter than Jack and Sally. The pair appear to be made for each other (not literally... unless maybe Dr. Finlestein had something up his sleeve). Sally's undying love for Jack is apparent from her very first scene in the film. And although Jack is a little busy big-timing everyone, he eventually realizes what a treasure Sally is. Their budding friendship/romance is priceless and shines in the culmination of the film, making Jack feel less miserable and taking some of the sting out of getting shot down by missiles. A good woman can do that for you.
Natural Born Killers (1994)
Mickey and Mallory Knox
My personal favorite on this list, Mickey and Mallory Knox are absolutely batshit crazy. Played brilliantly by Woody Harrelson and Juliette Lewis in Oliver Stone's film (written by Quentin Tarantino), M & M were an intelligent illustration of just how the media creates celebrity from psychosis. As insane as their initial killing spree was, the film gets even better as the couple become separated, only to pine for each other and work their way back into baby's arms. They may be the scariest couple on this list because they are the couple with the most potential to become reality.
Bride of Chucky (1998)
Chucky and Tiff
When Charles Lee Ray transformed his spirit into the body of the Good Guy Doll which became the infamous Chucky, I'm quite sure he never thought he'd be pulling down tail as hot as Tiffany. Played, memorably by the lovely Jennifer Tilly, Tiff came along midway through the Child's Play series and breathed much needed life and a completely new angle into a film franchise that had previously been a one-trick pony. Chucky and Tiff were great together. What could be more unnerving than seeing not one, but two giant-headed, three-foot tall, scalpel-wielding puppets show up at your door with bad intentions? Tiff would actually go on and become the dominant character in the series (as a good woman can do) and even brought little Glen/Glenda into the picture.
Sweeney Todd: The Demon Barber of Fleet Street (2007)
Sweeney Todd (Benjamin Barker) and Mrs. Lovett
The story of Sweeney Todd dates all the way back to the penny dreadful story The String of Pearls (1846-47), and the couple was originally portrayed by Tod Slaughter (fitting name) and Stella Rho in the 1936 film adaptation. And Angela Lansubry won a Tony Award for her portrayal of Mrs. Lovett in the original 1979 Broadway version of the story. For today we're going to use the modern telling of the tale featuring Johnny Depp and Helena Bonham Carter in Tim Burton's re-imagining of the story. This couple is perfect because they work so well together. Todd has a maniacal, homicidal rage that keeps turning up dead bodies in his quest to kill Judge Turpin, and with a shortage of good meat, Mrs. Lovett needs something to put in her infamous meat pies... a match made in heaven! Unfortunately it would be a short lived relationship but a memorable one for sure.
"True Blood" (2008)
Bill Compton and Sookie Stackhouse
For those of you irate over the exemption of Bella Swan and Edward Cullen from this list, here's the adult version of the duo. The way I see it, "True Blood" is nothing more than Twilight for grown-ups. As readers of Charlaine Harris' The Sookie Stackhouse Novels know, things don't always work out for the best for Sookie and Bill, but viewers of "True Blood," especially the early seasons, can't argue the red-hot chemistry this pair has on screen. It seems when Bill is around, the once awkward Sookie has immense trouble simply keeping her clothes on. Delivering one steamy scene after another, this on-screen couple (Anna Paquin and Stephen Moyer) got wise and decided to tie the knot for real in a ceremony in 2010. If their home life is anything like we see in "True Blood," I'm guess not a lot gets done around that house aside from a whole lot of "testing the springs in the coffin," if you know what I mean (wink, wink, nudge, nudge).
Let the Right One In (Låt den rätte komma in) (2008)
Eli and Oskar
Perhaps on this entire list, no couple needed each other more than Eli and Oskar, each for their own personal reason, but a young love did blossom out of this situation. Both of them required protection from the outside world, a protection that the other was able to provide. This was an amazing tale that featured the duo's budding young love set in the frigid backdrop of Sweden. The outlook for the union is shaky, at best, as Eli's vampiric requirements will certainly run Oskar to exhaustion, as it apparently has to men in the past, but the origin of the relationship (which is what we are treated to in this film) is touching. Even knowing the cost, we humans just can't leave those vampires alone.
Kisses all around! Happy Valentine's Day, everybody!
Top Ten List brought to you by Silent House in theatres March 9th, 2012.
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