Abraham Lincoln vs. Zombies To Make Asylum History
He won the Civil War. Freed the slaves. Slayed the vampires. Even found time to kill Confederate zombies. No wonder Abraham Lincoln is considered our greatest President. That last bit of Lincoln-ism will be the subject of the latest Asylum mockbuster Abraham Lincoln vs. Zombies.
Just when you thought all of these revisionist history flicks with a genre twist in the cinematic pipeline couldn’t get any sillier, those madmen at The Asylum announced their intentions to counter-program Fox’s upcoming big screen adaptation of the book Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter with their own somehow even more absurd sounding mockbuster Abraham Lincoln vs. Zombies.
While the brutal Civil War rages on, Abraham Lincoln must undertake an even more daunting task: destroying the Confederate undead!
And to think I recently joked about my idea for making a motion picture about MLK killing Confederate zombies called Martin Luther King Day of the Dead (alternate title: I Have a Nightmare). None of us should be joking about such crazy premises; we should be pitching them to Hollywood because it would seem at this moment in movie history such lunacy can actually become cinematic reality.
Somehow the fine folks at Moviehole got the first word on this magnum mockbuster opus as well as a casting breakdown of the casting call for the soon-to-begin shooting epic that will forever be known as Abraham Lincoln vs. Zombies:
[ PRESIDENT ABRAHAM LINCOLN ]
54; Caucasian male, tall and lanky, strong actor with strong credits.
[ MARY TODD ]
45-50; Caucasian female, First Lady of the White House and Abe’s wife.
[ JOHN WILKES BOOTH ]
25; Caucasian male, part of the new Secret Service. We are looking for someone to resemble John Wilkes Booth.
[ STONEWALL JACKSON ]
40; Caucasian male, haggard with dark hair and a bushy beard, has only one arm, General in the great Army of the Confederacy.
[ ABE ]
9; Caucasian male, lanky boy who likes to read.
[ THOMAS LINCOLN ]
30′s; Caucasian male, father of Abraham Lincoln, strong and loving family man.
[ NANCY HANKS LINCOLN ]
30′s; Caucasian female, motherly type.
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