“Wanna see something REALLY scary?”
To horror fans who came of age in the 1980s, the line above instantly evokes memories of Dan Aykroyd and Albert Brooks in the opening scene from Twilight Zone: The Movie. Now, on a bi-monthly basis, I’ll be asking, “Wanna see something REALLY scary?” with the goal of shocking you with chilling footage plumbed from the darkest corners of YouTube.
Something else those of us who came of age in the 1980s no doubt have fond and disturbing memories of is Faces of Death; directed by Conan LeCilaire and first released in 1978, the film was a collection of supposedly real scenes of death and dismemberment, culled from a variety of sources (from credible to highly suspect). Faces of Death would go on to spawn 3 sequels and a documentary: Faces of Death: Fact or Fiction? (Spoiler: It’s fiction). The film is now considered a paradigm of mondo horror and coined the term “Shocumentary”: A collection of mostly real archive footage displaying mankind at its most depraved and perverse, displaying bizarre rites, cruel behavior, and bestial violence.
Have a look at the trailer below, but be warned: As dated as Faces of Death is, the footage is shocking and definitely NSFW.
With 20/20 hindsight, it’s difficult to believe anyone thought the bulk of it was real; still, Faces of Death inspired a slew of poor quality imitators that were circulated surreptitiously among horror freaks in the days before YouTubes and Interwebs. One such supposed carry-over from this era past is Grave Robbing for Morons, a 20-minute film that was only recently uploaded online. While it’s nowhere near as graphic as Faces of Death, it’s supremely unsettling for the fact that no one seems about to disprove its authenticity. In other words: This one might really be real!
Wanna see something really scary?
You can check out Grave Robbing for Morons in its entirety below; it features a young man surrounded by an unseen crew, bragging about their nocturnal exploits. The unnamed narrator goes on to show off his treasures (actual human remains?), then gives tips for aspiring grave robbers like: “How to stake out a location” & “How to incapacitate interlopers”.
This version was produced by the good folks at Planet Weird and includes a tip-line, inviting other would-be internet detectives to share any information they may have regarding Grave Robbing for Morons. Proceed at your own risk!
Many fans of the macabre and unsolved mysteries have attempted to crack this disturbing riddle, but not one has been able to identify the narrator or trace Grave Robbing for Morons to its confirmed origins. One of the most exhaustive investigations into the truth behind the film was conducted by Heather Sutfin of Sword and Scale; she follows clues deep into a rabbit hole, but also comes short of finding definitive answers. Check out her investigation in its entirety, HERE.
Got an idea for a future installment of “Wanna See Something REALLY Scary?” Hit me up on Twitter @josh_millican!