Starring Bill Moseley, Brea Grant, Don Shanks, Kane Hodder, R.A. Mihailoff
Directed by John Schneider
Smothered is what I call a “stunt movie” – it’s like stunt casting, but the whole thing is all about who’s who and what they’re going to do as such. Unfortunately, letting a movie just be whatever it wants because the filmmakers think the who’s-who cast is going to sell the movie leads to lazy storytelling.
Smothered is no exception in that department, but if you’re a fan of the players, then at least that’s some reason to tune in. I will hand it to writer-director John Schneider (“Smallville”) – he does get some of the best performances in years from many of these B-actors.
The basic premise is that Jason Voorhees, Leatherface, Otis Driftwood, and Michael Myers are stalked by a buxom young bottle-blonde. As each one is picked off in a series of bizarre “accidents,” the onscreen villains become real-life victims.
Led by Kane Hodder (as himself; most-everyone plays themselves), famous slasher/horror icons go on the road in an old Winnebago. They’re headed for the latest convention, where they plan to haunt the locals and hawk their wares. Bill Moseley, R.A. Mihailoff, Don Shanks, and Malcolm Danare round out the cast. (Speaking of “round” – the otherwise lovely Brea Grant wears gargantuan fake ta-tas as a satirical, stereotypical blonde bimbo.)
It’s a fun idea, but the film is oddly presented – for instance, as each new chapter begins, there’s a prophetic quote from one of the characters tossed up onscreen via text; and the story also seems to be out of order, for no reason that I could see.
Smothered is one of those movies that almost works. However, I do recommend it as a fun time-waster, and certainly in support of indie film and B horror actors continuing to work.
2 out of 5