‘Don’t Fuck in the Woods 2’ is Everything We Love and Hate About Horror
Maybe it's not worth watching but it's worth making.
It is surprising that the title Don’t Fuck in the Woods wasn’t already taken. The Don’t titles usually stick to a creepy old house, not the great outdoors. Wouldn’t you rather deal with Dan Grimaldi in Don’t Go in the House than Madman Marz? Ok, point taken. At least you have some running room when it’s a camp scenario. Don’t Fuck in the Woods 2 is director Shawn Burkett’s follow-up to the original micro-budget camp slasher back in 2016. And, no, you don’t need to see the first film to enjoy the sequel. In fact, there may even be plans for a trilogy. It’s up to you how much time you’re willing to invest.
In a slightly familiar setup, a group of camp counselors gets together for a night of debauchery before the official summer season begins. The usual sexual dynamics take place and the popular kids pair off with each other to drink together, shower together, and, ultimately, die together. The characters in Don’t Fuck in the Woods 2 are perfectly fine existing in their own movie. Then, Meg (Brandy Mason) comes storming into the frame to remind everyone that the alien parasites from the original are still very much in play. Like our campers, these space slugs are attracted to sexual activity. Rest assured, there’s plenty of ’80s-inspired nudity to go around to keep you upright before the bloodshed begins.
Early on, the nudity in Don’t Fuck in the Woods 2 goes buck wild. A shower scene between Mason (Mark Justice) and Tasha (Kenzie Phillips) is surprisingly sexy. There’s also a girl-on-girl topless scene featuring Julie Anne Prescott that feels organic and, dare I say, romantic in a making out on a picnic table kind of way. Then, there are completely unnecessary nude scenes that seem forced and uncomfortable. For the majority of Don’t Fuck 2, the nude scenes are a lot more memorable than the kill scenes.
Then, the alien parasite plot comes back into focus to set up an inevitable sequel. Whether you want to see the trilogy capper is entirely up to you. This sort of low-profile, communal filmmaking is growing increasingly rare. I champion the effort more than the output. I don’t want to use terms like DIY filmmaking or regional horror. There is an undeniable allure to watching this kind of movie. It makes you think that anyone can make a horror movie, for better or worse. That feeling will always be attractive. That’s precisely why Shawn Burkett and his cast show outtakes during the end credits. It’s not easy to make a small, indie horror film. They can pretend that it was fun to make it, too. But it probably wasn’t.
Most likely, it was a hot, sticky, and stressful shoot. Normally, I would just review Don’t Fuck in the Woods 2 and say it’s not a very good horror movie. The outtakes make me appreciate the process and I think, as horror fans and horror critics, we want to celebrate making a subpar horror movie just as much as discovering a great one. That’s going to come with a fair level of scrutiny. Regardless, there are certainly a group of folks out there that can’t wait to make Don’t Fuck in the Woods 3.