Funhouse Massacre, The (2015)

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The Funhouse Massacre Poster 1Starring Chasty Ballesteros, Robert Englund, Jere Burns, Clint Howard, Courtney Gains

Directed by Andy Palmer


When sexy journalist Ms. Quinn (Candice De Visser) shows up unannounced at the lone fortress where six of the scariest psychopaths in the world call home, the horny warden (Englund) makes time to give her a private tour. As the pair stroll the asylum’s long, dark corridors, the warden gives the reporter a rundown of each condemned man’s crimes.

We see these in gory flashbacks as he speaks. There’s Dr. Suave (Sebastian Siegel), a handsome dentist who loved to use his drill just a little too much; there’s The Taxidermist (Howard), who didn’t just stick to the animal kingdom when it came to his hobby; and other mentally skewed slashers. The biggest cheese of them all, though, is Mental Manny (Burns), a charismatic cult leader who can charm the birds from trees… He can get anyone to do anything.

Turns out the reporter wants more than just a few words – she wants a few lives, and she takes them all in brutal fashion so she can get the keys to the cells in order to free Mental Manny and his merry band of murderers. Freed on Halloween night, the creeps converge on a local funhouse, and the blood flows.

It’s not just any funhouse, though – it’s like their home away from home because its themes are based on the killers’ unique reigns of terror. The unsuspecting carnival attendees think the carnage created is just part of the show. That is, until they become part(s) of the attraction. Unlikely heroes emerge when a group of college pals band together, along with a no-nonsense sheriff (Scottie Thompson) and her dimwitted deputy (Ben Begley, who also co-wrote the film), to vanquish the bad guys and save what’s left of the townspeople.

While The Funhouse Massacre is definitely a comedy (and a genuinely funny one at that, as it embraces the tropes of self-aware 90s slashers), it’s also quite gory (effects wizard Robert Kurtzman is in charge of the viscera), and some might even find it creepy and suspenseful, thanks to eerie cinematography (Filip Vandewal) and devilish direction (Andy Palmer).

The only cinematic accoutrement I didn’t care for was the jarring heavy metal soundtrack – perhaps it was meant to add to the 90s feel, but the band(s) just weren’t that good and the tunes went on to the point of shred-guitar overload.

All in all, I enjoyed The Funhouse Massacre and would watch it again; it’s a good addition to the Halloween-themed canon. The title says it all: fun and massacre. Can’t go wrong!

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User Rating 5 (3 votes)
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