Bunny the Killer Thing (2015)
Directed by Joonas Makkonen
Bunny the Killer Thing is playing at this year’s Fantasia International Film Festival, and it makes perfect sense to show a film like this in the midnight slot. It will definitely keep you awake. That being said, if you thought Food of the Gods or Night of the Lepus changed the way you felt about rabbits, Bunny the Killer Thing could very well give you a psycho-sexual complex revolving around those cute furry creatures you used to have as a pet until you forgot to put water in the cage.
Hopefully, it won’t spark a newfound sicko fetish where the idea of a man-sized bunny with a hard-on chasing you in the woods is somehow erotic. Given just how juvenile Bunny the Killer Thing actually is, I’m sure Finnish director Joonas Makkonen would be absolutely delighted if his particular brand of Furry Fandom caused teenage metalheads to dress up as a “Killer Thing” at the next local horror con.
Three masked henchmen taze a novelist and his screaming girlfriend at a remote cabin, kidnapping him on behalf of a bald lunatic in a lab coat who proceeds to inject what looks like a healthy dosage of bunny sperm into his neck. He escapes into the snowy wilderness, only to transform (as the opening credits roll) into the titular bunny as he screams out his new mantra, “Fresh pussy!” Once a group of sexed-up Finish and British twentysomethings rollick into the same woods, they all proceed to pretty much get fucked to death by a giant freakified, perverted man-in-suit bunny.
The gore is plentiful but repetitive, with a couple of legs ripped off but mostly a borderline obsessive amount of bitten off dicks, dicks ripped off in car accidents, a giant bunny dick raping random actresses, and even a POV bunny dick shot during a prolonged chase in the woods. Possibly inspired by Cheech Marin in From Dusk Till Dawn, Bunny’s lines are all variations of different kinds of pussy that its warped bunny-man mind detects from “Fresh pussy” to “Teenage pussy” to “Dirty pussy” to… well, you get the idea. This kind of buffoonery is entertaining on a purely base level in the early going but quickly devolves into one unimaginative scene after another where the same jokes, same effects, and same screams are used ad nauseam. A kick in the balls is always funny, but only a bullying pre-teen would laugh at it over and over again.
Bunny the Killer Thing looks like it’s being sold by Black Lion Pictures as a horror movie for metal fans, but aside from pretty decent songs by Serotonin Syndrome, Bellybutton X, and Aluminumblade, there isn’t really anything that’s very metal about this movie. There aren’t any triumphant moments or epic confrontations, and none of the characters even reference or seem to like heavy metal at all.
Aside from an ending that does pull back the curtain a little to reveal more about this creepy, mad science version of a backwoods Bunny Ranch and a post-credits sequence that plays like a Scandinavian teenager’s wet dream, there’s very little here to recommend. Killer Thing is based on a short film, but hopefully the last few minutes of the feature version aren’t seriously trying to set up a sequel. However, if you do have a teenage son who’s into metal and starting to love horror, he’d probably think you were pretty rad if you actually watched this with him. That would be metal.