Empire of the Ants / Jaws of Satan (Blu-ray)
Anthony Arrigo
|
Starring Joan Collins, Norman Lloyd, Christina Applegate, Nancy Priddy, Lots of ants
Directed by Bert I. Gordon, Bob Claver
Distributed by The Scream Factory
In a past review I lamented the lack of little creature features; films like Ghoulies (1984), Troll (1986) and Gremlins (1984). There’s another subgenre of horror that hasn’t seen much activity in a good long while either: nature fights back. After societal concerns about pollution, health, environmental impacts and animal extinction gained significant traction in the late ‘60s and early ‘70s, horror followed suit by using those statistics as a framework from which to build low-budget feature films. These pictures almost always followed the same general plotline – show man’s inability to respect nature, give nature some sort of upper hand, kill man – but don’t kill every man because the film should offer some hope that man has time to change. What I’ve always liked about these nature revenge flicks is that they’re usually right – man does wantonly destroy the environment, so it isn’t hard to believe that animals (those things which live in the environment) would seek out humans and just start killing.
While the thought of this might sound potentially thrilling for a film, what stops many of these movies from being anything more than a fun ‘70s distraction is the main selling point: the animal attacks. There are two reasons why – either animals this large don’t exist, or if they do you won’t find an actor willing to be attacked for real. On the latter point, check out Drafthouse’s release of Roar (1981) this summer for a thousand reasons why, if you actually can find an actor willing to play alongside deadly animals, it is not a good idea. In the case of Scream Factory’s newest releases – The Food of the Gods (1976)/Frogs (1972) and Empire of the Ants (1977)/Jaws of Satan (1981) – the low budget skirmishes are reduced to a combination of rear screen projection and shaky close-ups of an animal prop “attacking” a person.
But who cares how bad the effects are, right? That’s half the charm! The other half is watching actors, either past their prime or just starting off, do every possible idiotic thing in the book before being slaughtered. Sure, ostensibly these films serve as a warning that man needs to get his shit straight and quit ruining the planet, but, really, they work best as an exercise in Darwinian selection. Is there a vicious, oversized creature in your midst? One which you could probably run away from very easily, if only… you didn’t… stop in your tracks… and do nothing… but widen your eyes… and slowly wait for this thing… to kill you. Every. Damn. Time. Outside of the lead actors that are assured a life lasting till the credits, every other actor or actress shrieks loudly before patiently waiting to be murdered by a huge wasp, or a massive ant, or some other embiggened creepy crawler. I guess they have to, though, because if anyone acted rationally these movies would end in six minutes. Based on how bad some of them are, that might not be such a bad idea.
After directing AIP’s biggest film of 1976, The Food of the Gods, Bert I. Gordon returned to make what would be his final oversized creature feature, Empire of the Ants (1977). Once again drawing inspiration from H.G. Wells (the film is very loosely based on one of Wells’ short stories), Gordon’s film pits man against nature as an army of ants is exposed to radioactive waste, causing them to grow really big. The silvery toxic sludge washed up on Dreamland Shores, home to a planned community for wealthy clients. Or so Marilyn Fryser (Joan Collins), the developer, says. In reality, the island is a dump and the presentation is a smokescreen to keep potential buyers drunk and fatted, lest they wander off and notice that it’s all just a cheap illusion. The party comes to a halt when giant ants appear and start eating the guests. Marilyn, Dan (Robert Lansing) and the remaining attendees board a row boat and head down river, hoping to find some refuge. They come across a small town that seems like a safe haven. They soon find out it is not when it’s revealed the townspeople are under the spell of a queen ant that diffuses her pheromones onto the citizens, placing them under a hypnotic spell. The ants are running a massive operation at the sugar factory, using humans and eating all the sugar they want and, hey, wait a minute… didn’t these things get exposed to the toxins a few hours ago? How have they already taken over a town, established a hierarchy, brainwashed every person and reestablished a new order?
Empire of the Ants is a real bore. Even the fun of goofing on a campy cult film is nearly extinguished because this one is just such a slog. Sure, it’s always great to see Joan Collins playing some form of slimy bitch – and, as usual, she looks fantastic doing it – but outside of that there isn’t a whole lot. The victims here are just as stupid as those in Frogs, meaning they stop and stand and scream hoping a large ant will just, I don’t know, turn the other way or something. It gets very old when you’re impatiently waiting for the fifth victim to get all their screaming out so they can finally be eaten. It was great to see Robert Lansing here – he’d go on to fight another giant multi-legged creepy crawler, the crab, in Island Claws (1980) – although despite his gruff appearance he isn’t nearly as salty as he should’ve been. Lansing has one of those “get off my lawn” faces that demand he treat everyone like shit. Other than a couple bright spots of acting, the film falls flat. And you want to talk about modern day shaky cam? The ant attacks are so dizzyingly frantic they look like a Paul Greengrass film.
This disc’s complement to Empire of the Ants is another mostly lackluster feature, albeit one with a wonderfully satanic premise – Jaws of Death (although the print used credits it as King Cobra). An opening prologue makes it known that despite being locked up by God so many eons ago Satan is allowed out of his room once every thousand years to play for a bit. Cut to a couple of men riding in a train car filled with animals, biding their time on the rails. A box in back mysteriously opens, allowing a king cobra to roam free and kill both dudes. This snake not only kills quickly, but since it has the powers of Satan it can also mind-control other snakes to do its bidding. The plot then gets bogged down with talk of the local priest of a small town, Father Farrow (Fritz Weaver), being the snake’s target because his family was cursed centuries ago by Druids or some other such nonsense. Meanwhile, big time herpetologist Paul Hendricks (Jon Korkes) is called in to assess the town’s recent snake scares. A lot of people have been bitten recently and this rash of attacks threatens to scrap the town’s planned opening of the new dog track, something the mayor simply won’t allow to happen. Anyone else getting shades of Jaws (1975) here? The snake, naturally, shows up at the track’s opening, bites Christina Applegate (making her film debut) and retreats to an underground snake cave lair, where Father Farrow goes to meet it for a final, fiery confrontation.
Abysmally unfocused as this film may be, the snake attack scenes are the highlight because: they’re using real snakes; and, the snakes are being influenced by another, larger evil snake. The king cobra possessed by Old Scratch himself is one mean looking mother; the sort of snake you could definitely see killing people just for fun. It looks like pure evil. Even though a snake bite can kill a man, a man can also kill a snake kinda easily, assuming he’s got some sort of useful tool at his disposal. So it’s pretty ingenious that Satan Snake uses his powers to make other, still deadly, snakes do his bidding so that he doesn’t get the heel of a boot.
Still, some of the attacks are laughably bad. At one point a woman exits the shower and sits down on her bed to find a rattlesnake at the foot. Does she quickly jump off the bed and run out the door like any sane person? Nope. Instead she screams, grabs the phone, calls up Paul the Herpetologist, continues screaming, Paul drives over in his truck and, finally, he bursts upstairs just in the nick of time. It’s difficult to build tension when, just as an attack is beginning, any viewer can plainly see the easiest way to avoid it. At least the final confrontation is rad, with Father Farrow facing off against the cobra in a dark cave.
Much like The Food of the Gods/Frogs double feature, this is another lazy weekend drive-in disc that will delight kids too young to care about content quality and, at the least, will provide adults with a few hours of solid laughs as they watch intentionally hapless victims fall one by one. Plus, that Satan Snake is a killer villain. I would have loved this movie to death as a kid.
Similar to The Food of the Gods/Frogs double feature, both titles featured on this disc sport similar pictures. Empire of the Ants is presented with a 1.85:1 1080p image; while Jaws of Satan is framed at 1.78:1, with the same technical specs. Empire of the Ants has a decently crisp image, well-saturated colors and stable contrast. Some of the beach-set scenes look a bit washed out. There’s really not a lot wrong here and this is about as clean as it should ever look. Jaws of Satan gets a minor bit of prestige since it was photographed by Dean Cundey. Knowing that, expect a lot of darkness. The picture looks just fine – colors are natural, grain is intact, the print is very clean.
To continue sounding like a broken record, both of these films feature very similar audio. An English LPCM 2.0 mono track is included on both. Empire of the Ants starts off with a menacing riff that’s an obvious take on Jaws (1975) before moving on to a more typical late-70s low-budget score. The ants make a weird sound here – because they have to make some sort of noise – that sounds like a laser. That’s the best way I can describe it. Jaws of Satan must have set the levels to 666 because this track blasted my sound system from its normal level position. Other than that weird anomaly, the track is typically thin, lacking in midrange and featuring almost no low end. Basically, just like every other AIP film. Subtitles on both films are included in English.
Empire of the Ants extra features:
Once again, director Bert I. Gordon is back for an audio commentary that could cure insomnia. Ok, it isn’t that bad but hearing Gordon’s recollections might have best been served as a heavily edited interview featurette.
The film’s theatrical trailer, a radio spot and photo gallery are included.
Jaws of Satan has the following extra:
A theatrical trailer.
EMPIRE OF THE ANTS Special Features:
- Audio commentary with director Bert I. Gordon
- Theatrical trailer
- Radio spot
- Photo gallery
JAWS OF SATAN Special Features:
- Theatrical trailer
-
Empire of the Ants
-
Jaws of Satan
-
Special Features
Categorized:Reviews
