Crawdaddy Guaranteed to Be the Giant Crawfish Movie the World Has Been Waiting For
I have joked for years about wanting to make a Cajun-themed version of Them! about radiation in the Gulf of Mexico unleashing giant crawfish that would attack New Orleans. The title: D’em!. I even told that joke once to a Syfy filmmaker who half-jokingly pitched it to the Syfy execs in a meeting without my knowing it. It seems monster mudbugs is a line even the Syfy execs wouldn’t cross.
I’ve talked about D’em! online on numerous occasions so I don’t know if producer Sean Skelding or anyone at IMD Films ever saw that joke or if great minds just think alike because the world is finally gonna get a giant crawfish movie.
Now in production, more like pre-production I gather, is Crawdaddy.
Deep in the forest on Clear Lake, an experiment has gone terribly wrong… yet no one knows… until now. A young female biologist who finds odd readings on the lake meets up with a handsome sheriff who is following up on missing campers. Unbeknownst to them, others are being systematically killed by an unforeseen danger. Among the survivors, including the biologist and sheriff, are three teenage ex-gang members, an Eagle Scout, a beautiful teenage blind girl, a Katrina transplant, and a hermit scientist. They eventually find one another and team up to survive the night.
Holding out at the scientist’s shack, they fight for their lives against the packs of dog-sized crawdads. The scientist reveals his involvement in creating genetically modified super-fish, which were eaten by the crawdad population at the lake, causing them to grow. It wasn’t until the last few days that they became aggressive. Just when the group thinks they’ve succeeded, the king of them all… Crawdaddy… has come to seek revenge for the killing of its spawn. It’s the ultimate sacrifice of the scientist that settles it all.
That and the tiny artwork you’ll find below are all we have to go on at the moment. If the finale involves luring the colossal crawdaddy into Lake Pontchatrain and nuking the water, thus turning it into the world’s largest crab boil, I’m suing everyone involved for stealing my million dollar idea. Okay, more like several thousand dollar idea. Sigh. Tens of dollars idea.
Given how crawfish are generally eaten in the Big Easy, perhaps the ending will somehow involve “pinch the tail, suck the head.” That sound you heard was Uncle Creepy throwing up in his mouth.