YouTuber ‘Grim Beard’ Leads the Goth Gamer Nation [New Blood Drops]
What’s up, Goth Gamer Nation!? Welcome to New Blood Drops, a plane of existence inhabited by Blood Babes and Gorehounds alike, and we are HONORED to have you among our numbers.
Today, we’re diving back into the endless virtual ocean that is YouTube and raising one of its eldritch deities to the surface for all to see — video game conversationalist and dark wave musician, Grim Beard!
Grim Beard’s been playing the YouTube game for a good bit now, so he has PLENTY to discuss, including his history with gaming, his formative love for industrial rock and EDM, and why he considers “rats” so important within video games. The important stuff!
As always, you can find the FULL TRANSCRIPT of this interview on my website — www.giallojulian.com. Not only that, but you’ll be able to check out my previous New Blood Drops interviews, as well as full transcripts of my Direction Dissection interviews, news about upcoming and currently released indie horror, events, zombie movie reviews, and just talk about indie horror!
INTERVIEW:
Dread Central: “So first, thank you for being part of the interview! I know you’ve been posting on YouTube for just over a decade — at least on the Grim Beard channel — but I want to talk about earlier.
“What was it like for Grim Beard before YouTube? What interest did you have growing up? Was gaming always in your blood? Were you born goth? Or did the goth seek you out and envelop you into the fold?”
Grim Beard: “[laughs] I’d say it was. I was always drawn to goth and alternative culture. In part, it was just a “right time, right age” sort of thing, where you’re, like, just alienated, and anxious, and dorky enough. But also, the time of my adolescence — mid-90s to mid-00s — was sort of the last time that, you know, genres like industrial rock and dark wave were commercially viable.
“You were hearing it in film soundtracks and games, especially racing games and on MTV. So there was this wider acceptance and ubiquity that was… easy to fall into and empathize with. And I think before my channel, there was this period in my 20s when I really suppressed that. Probably to be in, like, a number of really unfulfilling relationships where I was like, Oh, this is the goofy part of me that nobody likes.”
DC: “I feel that. I’ve been there, man.”
GB: “So yeah, I was kind of just, like, sleepwalking through life. And then when I started, I slowly started prying that door open again with the channel. I have this legitimate sort of revival of sense of self in talking about all this stuff that I used to say I liked ironically. And it’s like, No, I’m actually just that person.
“Like, I’m actually still just a guy that wears Cradle of Filth shirts, and paints their nails with Sharpie. You know?”
DC: “Hell yeah!… It’s always nice to be able to be true to yourself, especially after suppressing it for so long. I used to do that back in, like, high school and in my early 20s. It always felt like you were lying to yourself a bit.”
GB: “Right. Well, there’s just expectation that you’re supposed to — I don’t know — grow up and fall in line. And I don’t think people ever actually really grow up, now that I’m here. [laughs]”
DC: “[laughs] We’re all just trying to fake it till we make it at this point, man.”
GB: “Pretty much.”
DC: “Society has a tendency to try and put you in a box, and that box is really boring and gray. I want to go out where all the colors are. I want to go outside the box. I want to go where all the fun stuff is.”
GB: “Yeah, and I think it’s really easy to have this, like — Or there’s this really obvious crossover between, you know, goth, and alt culture, and gaming, because being goth is very nerdy and theatrical. It’s tied to pop culture through horror movies, and Anne Rice novels, and this whole umbrella of music, so it just seems natural that it would extend out from that.
“But as far as before doing a channel, I was pretty much doing a series of hobbies that were all stepping stones to what I’m doing now. Because I liked writing… I had a blog for a while where I would review games, and movies, and complain about this job I had at a PC repair store. But I think more than anything, I just liked editing, and I liked manipulating or ruining different types of media.
“So me and my brother would kind of, like, rip movies and cut them up, and make them say weird things, or slow them down and warp them. I think years later there was a term for that, which was YouTube Poop, but I don’t think we knew at the time what that was. It was just like, This sounds funny! It’s like just the lowest tier of comedy, but I don’t think I’ll ever laugh as hard as I did making shit like that.
“But yeah, we would do projects like that, or take comic books and scan them, and rearrange the cells and add new dialogue. So there’s a lot of that that has just extended into the content where, you know, I will replace dialogue and cutscenes, or cut away to VHS rips of something I found at a thrift store.
“Yeah, so it was just a long time of me doing all the different parts of making videos until I was like, Oh, this is all of them at once. You know?”
DC: “Yeah, that makes perfect sense. I mean, the more things change, the more they stay the same. It’s kind of weird. Like, I’ve noticed — especially in my life, I’m not sure if it’s commonplace for everyone else — you kind of go in a circle. You start off liking all this shit as a kid, and then you’re told to grow up a little bit, and you go until you reach a point. Then you go back to the shit you used to like as a kid and realize, Hey, you know what? This is more me than I have been for the past couple years. I want to go back. I guess it’s also kind of a nostalgic thing, going back and being like, Hey, better times being a kid.”
GB: “For sure.”
DC: “But it’s cool when someone has all these hobbies and all these fun things they used to do, and [it] actually becomes — I won’t say job — but, like, a viable source of income. You’re pretty much doing what you love and making money off it, which is always kind of the goal. I’m more of the “create-art-to-create-art” kind of person, but being paid for it is also nice. [laughs].”
GB: “[laughs] Yeah, I appreciate that part. When I started the channel, it was very easy for me, because I went into it being like, you know, The worst thing that can happen is that nobody sees it. And that’s okay, because in the chemistry of my mind, it’s still a hobby. So at the end of the day, I’m doing my hobby. Either outcome would have been great for me because I just like making things. You know?”
DC: “Your channel mostly consists of video game analysis, especially games from earlier generations. Point-and-click adventures, early 2000s shooters, survival horror, action RPGs, the overlooked and underrated Gothic masterpiece Nocturne — you cover a variety of tastes.
“How do you choose what games you analyze? How long does it usually take to finish a video? And what are the steps you take in creating one?”
GB: “Pretty much if I can tie a game to some kind of personal experience, or if I feel it exemplifies the era where I really started to connect with games, then I can probably find something to work with. I don’t really go into it with, like, the absolutes of good or bad in mind.
“It’s more like, Can I talk about this at length? Can I find qualities I enjoy? Will it lead me to [spiral] into asides and bits about peripheral content and the ephemera of the game business?
“But yeah, I’ve had people ask me if I worry about running out of games to cover that fit the channel’s tone, but I think I’m more than capable of dragging anything into that tone, even if I’m not covering a dark, gritty horror game. The channel is so steeped in that. That’s the theme and the sense of humor, so it will be that way no matter what.
“So I’m open to a lot of things, but I think I excel if it’s, like, something kind of schlocky from the mid-00s. There’s just a constant database of it in my head, and, obviously, that’s hard to pick through, so the polling helps.”
DC: “I feel like there’s so many games from that era, that burning out on content is the least of your worries.”
GB: “For sure. I think I’ve been pretty good — but slipping lately — about the whole process taking a month to play the game, sometimes several times while capturing footage. I’ll take bullet notes of thoughts, and experiences, and jokes, and memories. Then I pretty much free write until I can’t anymore, and I’ve used up all those bullets as a guide through it. And I’ll often leave — If there’s, like… the cadence says there’s a joke here, but I don’t have a joke, I will just leave a space there that says, “Say something funny.” There’s many placeholders throughout, so there is this INCREASING improvisational quality to it, because I’m so slow at writing. It is, like, the hardest part of the process.
“But then, since I love editing, it all comes together in the edit, and even that is very stream of consciousness. Where, in the moment, I’m reminded of some obscure reference… that didn’t come up while writing, and I’ll stitch those in. So the timeline will have a billion little markers that are vague hints at, like, Simpsons bits or something, and I’ll just know what it means.
“So if a video ever feels like it’s becoming aimless or trailing off into something barely associated, that’s probably by design. I’m aware that that’s happening, but I think I can make it funny by leaning into it, I guess.”
DC: “I get that.”
GB: “Like, I don’t turn back if I’m approaching a dead end. I just, you know, start shoveling.”
DC: “[as Grim Beard] “I make a new road!”
GB: “[laughs] Yeah, pretty much.”
DC: “Although one might misconstrue your channel as “horror-based,” that’s not actually the case. While your love for the genre is prominent, you also tackle other flavors of gaming, like the mystery genre with Nancy Drew, and the action genre with Max Payne.
“Apart from horror, what other genres are you particularly fond of? Are there any you hope to do more of on your channel? And are there any you actively avoid?”
GB: “I like straying away from horror, or just, like, dark themes. Yeah, I’m more and more interested in looking at seemingly ill-fitting games through a lens that was honed with horror and dark themes. So Nancy Drew was definitely a fun experiment with that, and I do want to do more Nancy Drew games.”
DC: “That’s one of my favorite videos that you did, actually. I was sitting there like, Oh man, that’s unexpected — but not unwelcomed.”
GB: “[laughs] Right. I mean, I think a lot of people have a very intimate experience or relationship with certain games, and that series is certainly one of them. But yeah, like, taking something sort of wholesome or cartoony and extrapolating an adult darkness from it, I think, is really fun.”
DC: “Because there’s always a bunch of implications in there to be like, “Oh yeah, we look at the surface, but here’s all the stuff that this implies.”
GB: “Yeah, the construction of Nancy Drew stories are like, you know — They’re like cop procedurals for kids. They’re structured that way, but without having constant violence or horrible things happening. And I love when there’s just a ghost for no reason, and it’s like, But is it really? Wink.”
“I’d like to do more stuff that’s not surface level horror, like the Final Fantasy or Kingdom Hearts franchises.”
DC: “Hell yeah.”
GB: “There’s things I feel like I don’t have an in to make content out of, at least for right now. It’s usually bigger games with more eyes on them, like The Last of Us or, like, a Grand Theft Auto game, or just games that aspire to be films… when they’re aiming for photorealistic Hollywood production value. Because if I don’t see, like, the brush strokes and the mistakes in the production, I can’t connect with it essentially.”
DC: “Makes sense.”
GB: “So yeah.”
DC: “Feels less human and more robotic if there’s not little, small signatures and errors in there.”
GB: “For sure. The thing I feel I hone in on is the character and the personality that comes through from the creator, and there are certain franchises that I do feel that, and it’s like, This is an alien product to me. I got no content for this.”
DC: “So YouTube isn’t the only place you share your creativity. You’re also a musician.
“When did you start producing your own music? How would you describe your sound to those who haven’t heard it? And does it fall under any specific genre?”
GB: “I consider myself a dabbler in music, while knowing next to nothing about it. That only really came about because I needed music in the background of my videos, and the options for royalty-free stuff were not as robust as they are now.
“So I just started to reverse engineer songs that I liked… and felt were fitting as background [music], and didn’t steal your attention. Like the Silent Hill soundtracks, or ambient artists like Boards of Canada. That was what I was aiming for.
“And then, I think, during the pandemic, I had a lot more free time and felt compelled to push that as far as I could go, which resulted in the “album” called Pure Acid Hell. Which is like a love letter to early 90s industrial and EBM, so bands like Skinny Puppy and Nitzer Ebb.”
“And that’s, like, loosely strung together as taking place in a fake video game world setting that was like Vampire: The Masquerade meets Deus Ex.”
DC: “That’s pretty rad.”
GB: “Thank you. Yeah, it became a hobby, where it was, like, a necessity before. [laughs]”
DC: “[laughs] You’re sitting there like, I kind of like this.”
GB: “I mean, there is a cathartic quality to it, I guess.”
DC: “Well, the nu-metal friend I have — I had her listen to your stuff before talking to you a couple of weeks back, and she gave the thumbs up of approval and said, “This is some really good fucking shit.”
GB: “Oh great!”
DC: “You’re doing some good stuff.”
GB: “Yeah, I felt I had ascended a new height when Spotify recommended me to me.”
DC: “Hell yeah!”
GB: “It’s just, like, me sandwiched in-between bands I actually respect, you know?”
DC: “[as Spotify] “Hey, you might like yourself!” And you’re like, “Thanks, Spotify. I might like myself.”
GB: “Skip, but thank you!”
DC: “I’m not going to listen to it, but I appreciate the gesture.”
GB: “Actually, report.”
DC: “[laughs] Actually, I’m offended now.”
GB: “[laughs]”
DC: “I mean, at least it was between bands you liked. You imagine it was between bands you didn’t like?… Like, What the fuck, Spotify?”
GB: “Oh, that’s true! Yeah, I guess it could have gone the other way.”
DC: “Again, bullet dodged.”
“Can we expect any more album releases soon? And where can one listen to your music? Where can one go to help your music career?”
GB: “Well, you can find that on Bandcamp and Spotify, both under Grim Beard. And I have an ever-growing folder of half-finished tracks and abandoned ideas that will definitely surface in some form. I’m a big quantity-over-quality creator. [laughs[ So really, I could just go through and pick the most viable songs and develop them. I’ll occasionally post snippets of that in my Discord.
“But my process happens really spontaneously, and I’m often just in the moment. It’s like there’s suddenly a chorus in my head, and I need to get there somehow. Then, like, an hour later, there’s the facsimile of a song. But it was a lot easier to find time to scream about rats when I lived alone, so I have to have very particular conditions before I feel comfortable doing that.”
DC: “I feel that. Everything has to be right. The Feng Shui has to be right… or else it’s just all off.”
GB: “Right. So yeah, it’s there. It’s on me to actually make the move on it.”
DC: “No, fuck that. Just release a whole album of half-finished tracks, and call it Abandoned Ideas. There you go.”
GB: “[laughs] The mixtape, you know?”
DC: “Yeah! [laughs] Just make it all one track. No pause. A whole fifty minute album. It’s just one song, like a Frankenstein version of a bunch of songs.”
GB: “[laughs] Hell yeah.”
DC: “There we go. That’s a lazy way of doing things. Which I think being lazy can be an art.”
GB: “True.”
DC: “Some of the best art comes from people being lazy. [laughs]”
GB: “[laughs] Well, it’s creativity through — I guess “limitation of the self.”
DC: “[laughs] Creativity through limitation of motivation.”
GB: “[laughs] Yeah.”
DC: “There you go. Perfect. Make it sound very pretentious.”
GB: “Right, right, right.”
DC: “For those not in the know, tell us more about the Rat Roundup. When and why was it conceived? Has the rat round up been fruitful so far? How about the Bat Roundup?”
GB: “[laughs] The Rat Roundup is a recurring segment in my videos where I spotlight how a video game has chosen to represent rats, which are commonplace in many games, be it a dungeon, a cave, a basement. It’s something I think is useful, as well as fun, as a way of showcasing the level of detail or character a game has.
“You know, that it chose to add this decorative lifeform that you pass by all the time. You don’t think about it, but it requires design, and scripting, and sound. It’s like a microcosm of design that didn’t need to be there at all. And it just shows that there’s, like, heart and soul — and also that rats are cool.
“And the bat roundup, and other various roundups, are meant to achieve the same purpose.”
DC: “Because sometimes there’s not a rat.”
GB: “Yeah, yeah, yeah. You take what you can get. But I really like when developers add vermin or small, benign creatures to a game. That’s the sort of thinking I think we should be pushing for instead of trying to create The Matrix.”
DC: “I agree. And you’re right. It’s like a way to see how much thought and effort was put into something, when they’re willing to just animate small things that are only a second in length, but fully animated and thought out.”
GB: “It shows you care.”
DC: “Yeah, exactly. You’re sitting there like, “Oh, I’m going to restart this level so I can watch that rat again.” I agree a hundred percent.”
Many thanks to Grim Beard for being a part of this interview!
You can visit his YouTube channel right here, and his Bandcamp page right here.
Categorized: Interviews News
