12 Classic Creepy Christmas Critters!
Steve Barton
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Though Krampus and The Grinch usually get all the spooky holiday love, the team of Arthur Rankin, Jr., and Jules Bass at Rankin/Bass Productions, Inc., gave us many memorable monsters who revel in Christmas fear! Each year they lurk about on TV before a multitude of heroes have had a chance to change their black hearts into golden ones! Just like Ebenezer Scrooge at noon on Christmas Eve, these monsters start as spooky as can be, and we have a list of some of our absolute favorites for you below!
Aeon the Terrible
“Rudolph’s Shiny New Year” (1978)
Faster than you can scream “La Carcagne,” the giant claw(s) of Aeon the Terrible will swoop in and carry you off to the island of No-Name: a giant iceberg near the North Pole where the sun NEVER shines! This bad boy is known to terrorize the skies of the Sands of Time, a desert near Father Time’s castle. Dare you make the trek? Make sure you look up (you know… something the characters in Larry Cohen’s Q: The Winged Serpent NEVER did), or else you might lose your head!
Bumble the Abominable Snowman
“Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer” (1968)
For many years man has searched for the missing link. Regardless of what you call it – Sasquatch, Bigfoot, the Yeti, the Abominable Snowman… this furry fear maker has been as elusive as finding a jawbone in a haystack on Farmer Vincent’s farm. It figures that none other than Rudolph would use his shiny red nose as a means to shed some light on this beast’s whereabouts! Let’s just be thankful he didn’t end up on Bumble’s menu. Lord knows this toothy terror tried!
Burgermeister Meisterburger
“Santa Claus Is Comin’ to Town” (1970)
Sure, there’s nothing mythical or supernatural about Burgermeister Meisterburger, but here’s a guy who makes Scrooge look like Nelson Mandela. I mean, come on… not even old Ebenezer would have banned toys from an entire town! Or would he? The jury is still out on that one. Incidentally, the police are still on the lookout for a yet-to-be-identified male who was boiled in his own pudding and buried with a sprig of holly through his heart. If you are in possession of any info leading to the capture of the heartless villain who committed this heinous act, please call 800-423-TIPS.
Charlie in the Box
“Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer” (1964)
Remember the cover of Child’s Play 2? I’m willing to bet that old Charlie in the Box was more than just a little inspirational to the artist who came up with it! Never mind clowns! We DARE you to stare into Charlie’s soulless eyes… the devil’s eyes…
Commander of the Wind Demons
“The Life and Adventures of Santa Claus” (1985)
How foul is the Commander of the Wind Demons? So foul that he hasn’t even been given a name… just a title. Even worse, this nasty creature has been taxed with deciding the fate of Santa Claus himself! There are a lot of really weird and disturbing characters in 1985’s “The Life and Adventures of Santa Claus,” which was based upon 1902 children’s book written by L. Frank Baum of the same name. You’ll be seeing some more of them on this very list should you have the gumption to keep on reading.
The Heat Miser
“The Year Without a Santa Claus” (1974)
If Satan himself were to don a festive costume, we’re pretty sure he’d look a lot like the dreaded Heat Miser from 1974’s “The Year Without a Santa Claus.” With his marvelous singing voice and flair for theatrics, is it really such a stretch?
Need more proof? Just try to get that damned song out of your head. Hell hath no fury, we tell ya!
King Awgwa
“The Life and Adventures of Santa Claus” (1985)
Quake in fear, kids! QUAKE IN FRIGGIN’ FEAR! King Awgwa is the leader of the Awgwas, a race of evil creatures that have the power to influence human minds. He also had the power to terrorize Karen Black via Zuni Fetish doll 10 years earlier, but that’s another tale… a whole trilogy of them.
Old Mag the Hag
“The Leprechauns’ Christmas Gold” (1981)
If the mythical Irish creatures known as Leprechauns have a scourge, it is no doubt Old Mag the Hag. A banshee who specialized in spreading bad luck wherever she went, Mag needed to dig her claws into a heaping helping of gold before Christmas Day or she would turn to tears and wash away forever. Reports of Mag have been eerily quiet since 1993. Despite multiple attempts Warwick Davis has remained unavailable for comment.
The Snow Miser
“The Year Without a Santa Claus” (1974)
The Yin to the Heat Miser’s Yang, the Snow Miser may be a bit more cheery than his hot-headed friend, but we can assure you that under that cheery exterior he has a heart of pure ice. He also suffers from the single most severe case of post-nasal drip we’ve ever seen. Seriously, someone get this dude a chisel and some tissue. Thanks.
The Evil Cossack King, Kubla Kraus
“Jack Frost” (1979)
The Evil Cossack King, Kubla Kraus is more or less the Dr. Frankenstein of the Rankin and Bass universe because he possesses the know-how to bring life to his creations… an army of Keh-Knights, amongst other robotic servants. Kraus sits upon the throne of his lair on Miserable Mountain, and the only thing on his agenda is keeping the residents of January Junction in a constant state of fear. Good thing old Jack Frost is around to chill him out, or his army of mechanical monsters would have no doubt taken over the world by now.
Winterbolt
“Rudolph and Frosty’s Christmas in July” (1979)
If Kraus could be considered a Doctor Frankenstein of sorts, then without question the evil sorcerer Winterbolt would have felt right at home in the Lord of the Rings universe at the side of Lord Saruman. This sneaky devil actually conjured that terrible storm in which Rudolph with his nose so bright guided Santa’s sleigh that night. Furious that his nefarious plan was foiled, Winterbolt rises with a vengeance and convinces both Frosty the Snowman and Rudy to head to Florida to become carny freaks for the dreaded ringmaster Sam Spangles. I know… WTF, right? Talk about a cold-hearted bastard.
The Winter Warlock
“Santa Claus Is Comin’ to Town” (1970)
Without question, the most terrifying of all Rankin and Bass’ many creations was the infamous Winter Warlock. I mean, just look at this dude. He SCREAMS “I’m nefarious!” If he didn’t have the train fetish that he did, there’s no way ANYONE, Rudolph or otherwise, would ever have made it across the Mountain of the Whispering Wind, thereby killing Christmas off for good and plunging us all into a dark wonderland of humbug!
That’s it! Did we miss any of your favorites or rekindle some long dormant memories? Let us know in the comments section below. Merry Christmas to all, and to all a good fright!
