The Ex-Girlfriend’s Horror Guide to Breakups
Nicole Bird
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- The Fly (1986)
A man becomes a monster. Need I say more? Jeff Goldblum and Geena Davis meet and hit it off! She’s a promising reporter; he’s a promising scientist. Romance wins? Well, when insecure Jeff Goldblum thinks Geena Davis is getting back with her ex, he inadvertently commences his transformation into a fly. Afterwards he treats Geena with disdain, and thus begins their relationship from hell! He begins his descent into madness as he mutates into a fly, and she becomes his number one victim. This movie will make you grateful that you are single. Your ex isn’t a tortured genius. He’s just a guy turning into a fly… metaphorically, of course. 😉
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7BzwxJ-M_M0
- You’re Next (2011)
The slasher movie to watch when you’re remembering all those family trips you made with the ex. A young girl visits her boyfriend’s family, whom she’s meeting for the first time. That’s nerve-wracking on its own. But when a family dinner transforms into a bloodbath, the visit quickly becomes a fight for her life, while family members are picked off one by one. Meanwhile, our lead utilizes her own abilities to survive. But she’ll learn not all is as it seems… especially when it comes to her boyfriend. Again, it will make you grateful you’re single and don’t have to endure horrific visits to your in-laws.
- Psycho (1960)
This movie, a horror classic and arguably the first slasher film, follows Marion Crane, a woman who “goes a little mad” one day and steals money to help her illicit lover have enough cash to leave his wife and live with her. Sigh, a woman trying to save a man. Sadly, tragedy befalls her and she becomes a casualty of mommy-issue-having Norman Bates. Want to rescue that emotionally unavailable, no ambition having ex? This movie will give you a nice reminder that you made the right decision. Psycho gets a second shout-out for all the people who have had to deal with exes with mommy issues… it’s nice not having to deal with that anymore, isn’t it?
- The Ring (2002)
This begins the last part of my list – the part dedicated to the hope for romance and love. Watch these when you’re over the breakup and dreaming of the next relationship. The Ring follows Naomi Watts, a single mother who seems more focused on her career than her child. But it serves her when she discovers a videotape that can kill you when you watch it. She shows it to her erstwhile man, who is her on and off lover and the absentee father of her son. As the film progresses, we watch her baby daddy become more emotionally available, and we can even see the promise of a rekindling of their relationship and a happily ever after. But alas, it’s a horror movie, and tragedy wins. But if you have that person whom you hope becomes more on than off, this film is a good inspiration to have hope. Sometimes people change and there’s no need for tragedy in real life and romance… if you are very, very lucky.
- Planet Terror (2007)
The last movie on the list and it’s a great one: zombie-romance movie Planet Terror. The film follows a zombie outbreak and the romance that is rekindled by the apocalypse. Ray and Cherry are our leads (Freddie Rodriguez and Rose McGowan). They used to be lovers, but it didn’t work out for an unexplained reason. But with the zombie invasion, they come back together, they fight bad guys, both living and dead, and Ray will go to the ends of the earth for Cherry – and she saves him many times as well. If you love horror and believe in true love, you will love Planet Terror. This movie is perfect for when you’re ready for love again.
This list is meant to help you horror fans that are lonely, sad, and wanting to find something that will help forget your sadness. Watch these movies and TV shows, and it can help bring you back to life. They will remind you: You deserve better. You deserve to be happy. If you didn’t trust your ex, there’s a reason. If you felt like you were being mistreated, then you were. Trust your gut. And there’s true love still out there, especially for horror fans.
