The Most Bloodthirsty Christmas Trees in Horror
Unlikely as it might seem, the killer Christmas tree horror subgenre has given a necessary shock back to life with the release of Rhys Frake-Waterfield’s The Killing Tree. One of the year’s best monster movies, full stop, it bodes well for Frake-Waterfield’s chances with the forthcoming Winnie the Pooh: Blood and Honey, the much-anticipated horror adaptation of A. A. Milne’s seminal source material. The Killing Tree exceeds competent, the common bar for holiday horror B-fare. It’s well-shot, genuinely well-acted, and the titular tree gets to partake in plenty of gnarly carnage before the credits roll. Santa doesn’t deserve all the fun, after all.
Here, we’ll be taking a look back at the history of killer Christmas trees in horror movies, highlighting the best and brightest of the evergreen bunch.
Treevenge
Next to The Killing Tree (or Demonic Christmas Tree, it seems to go by both), Treevenge is arguably the most famous hash-slinging slashing Christmas tree around. Jason Eisener’s eight-minute short follows trees, tired of being chopped and rip from the earth, seeking revenge against the poor denizens looking to alpine spruce up their living rooms. See, they’re trees, and they’re seeking revenge. Treevenge. Eisener, known for the feature-length adaptation of his own short Hobo with a Shotgun, is a grindhouse auteur I wish we saw more of. The same infectious energy he brought to that and the likes of V/H/S/2 is evident here. It’s a grisly, stylish short that remains a holiday perennial.
Trees and Trees 2: The Root of All Evil
Direct-to-video horror fare is a weird beast. Think it, name it (not like The Bye, Bye Man, just in general), and there’s likely a low-budget, no-budget horror offering available. This is a world where Kevin O’Brien’s Night of the Living Bread short exists. It’s a beautiful world we live in. In Michael Pleckaitis’ Trees, a small Vermont town is plagued by homicidal Great White Pine. The Jaws homage is strong, and truthfully, Trees is more inspired than a conspicuous Spielberg riff has any right to be. It’s got gruff lumberjacks, lush Vermont landscapes, and plenty of intentional humor to augment all the tree slaughter. They’re not Christmas trees, but they’re close enough.
If that isn’t enough, have no fear. Pleckaitis returned four years later with Trees 2: The Root of All Evil. Kevin McCauley’s forest ranger is back, this time grappling with genetically modified trees created by the government. If the story resonates, I’ve got bad news. Reportedly, Pleckaitis found the entire ordeal so exhausting, he opted not to continue work on Trees 3: Regeneration. Resultantly, the tree-ilogy will remain incomplete, at least until some Hollywood execs decide the dredge the property up, add some studio gloss, and release it with Tom Holland in the ranger role.
Killer Christmas
Sure, PeterPaul Shaker and Tony Shaker’s Killer Christmas doesn’t feature maniacal trees, but it is set at a Christmas tree lot, and that’s something. I love championing an underdog, and low-budget effort Killer Christmas is nothing if not an underdog. In a Silent Night, Deadly Night world, it’s hard to make a killer Santa cool again, but it’s always nice when someone tries. Someone in a Santa mask is killing teens exploring an abandoned Christmas tree lot and adjacent hotel. It’s got shades of Therapy, which is always a good thing, and it’s a Christmas slasher which, come on. That’s always a good thing.
Saturday Night Live
Then, of course, there’s this classic bit from Saturday Night Live.
You might be thinking; is that it? Unfortunately, it is, at least that’s it in terms of what I’ve seen and remain capable of commenting on. The killer Christmas tree subgenre is too small. The cache of murderous trees needs to be expanded, and hopefully, The Killing Tree is the thrust the genre desperately needs. This holiday season, just make sure your own tree is watered, properly decorated, and not a vendetta-seeking behemoth or vessel for a reincarnated serial killer. Standard Christmas tree stuff.
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