Big Tits Zombie/Zombie Stripper Apocalypse (DVD) - Dread Central
Connect with us
bigtits.jpg bigtits.jpg

Reviews

Big Tits Zombie/Zombie Stripper Apocalypse (DVD)

Published

on

Cover art:

news/oct12/bigtits.jpg

Big Tits Zombie/Zombie Stripper Apocalypse (DVD)Starring Sora Aoi, Risa Kasumi, Mari Sakurai

Directed by Takao Nakano

Distributed by Entertainment One


Gonzo Japanese horror comedies are definitely not for everyone. Such films like RoboGeisha and Vampire Girl vs. Frankenstein Girl display some method to the madness, inventive visuals, a kinetic energy, some semblance that what you’re watching is an actual film as loony as it may be. Definitely an acquired taste, a taste I am willing to admit to only enjoying in limited doses.

Sometimes these films just leave a bad taste. Big Tits Zombie is the original title of the motion picture released in what few remaining Blockbuster’s there are as Zombie Stripper Apocalypse. This was actually released in Japan in 3D? Seriously?

You would assume a movie originally titled Big Tits Zombie would boast loads of nudity, especially when you consider the busty stars of the film are all Japanese adult video actresses appearing in a non-penetration role. You would assume a movie titled Zombie Stripper Apocalypse featuring scantily clad exotic dancers battling the undead would deliver lots of over-the-top gore and creative zombie slaughtering action. You do get all three but in surprisingly limited doses.

Cheap digital splatter abounds whenever the women don swords and chainsaws to fight off the walking dead. A scene or two of gut munching shows off the sort of practical effects work you’ll wish there was more of. There is such a deficit of zombie fighting action that the film opens with a zombie fighting sequence lifted from the climax that then repeats itself in its entirety when the film comes full circle. Keep in mind the movie is barely 70 minutes long.

There are only a handful of topless scenes, and the first bit of nudity doesn’t even occur until nearly halfway into this movie that boasts the production values of a no-budget porn movie shot on VHS and transferred over to digital. The lack of nudity early on is something the movie even tries to laugh off by having a male character around the 20-minute mark break the fourth wall to complain about how bad the film is. No sex scenes, either; shocking, considering the cast is almost entirely women who make a living having sex on camera. Not even any tentacle rape (though it is teased and joked about). Contrary to the original title, there are no zombies with big tits. A Japanese movie called Big Tits Zombie starring AV stars doesn’t even succeed at being sufficiently sleazy; that alone should be grounds for the filmmaker to commit seppuku.

Problem is that this movie isn’t really about gratuitous nudity or zombies or big breasted gals battling the undead. The razor thin storyline deals with the discovery of a Necronomicon in the bowels of a Japanese strip club that leads the one Gaga-esque Goth stripper to raise the dead and go mad with power; her vague plan is to force all women to dress in their slutty Halloween costumes every day of the year by making Halloween every day, or some crap like that. But that’s still not really what it’s about. The whole sorry spectacle is really more like an endless stream of non sequiturs that rarely amount to anything beyond inane gibberish.

The illiterate stripper admonishing a co-worker: Sorry I never learned to read, Maria. I was too busy not being a cunt.

Villainess to heroine during the final battle: I always did despise you. Now I’ll step on your stupid dead face with a shoe that’s covered with dog shit..

A male driver acting strange as he pulls up to take one of the girls to the club: It’s not what it looks like. I was just masturbating. Or is that what it looked like? You should probably wipe down the seat..

There’s sophomoric humor, and then there’s whatever the hell this is. Even worse is how the humor frequently turns meta by having the strippers talk as if they know they’re appearing in a terrible movie and by having the “director” voice his complaints about how his dumb actresses can’t take proper direction, the budget being so low they have to recycle the same four or five zombie extras and how bad the movie is in general.

A stripper’s thoughts before segueing to her backstory: God, I’m so bored. Guess I might as well flash back to how I got here.

One stripper to another after she points out which one of them will turn evil before the end of the movie: “You know you’re supposed to say “spoiler alert” first.”

Laughing yet? Maybe you will during the climax when a dreadlocked guy with blue face paint and horns emerges from a fiery pit and complains that he’s supposed to be on the set of Big Schlong Ogres instead.

How about one more?

The strip club MC introducing the middle-aged stripper as she takes the stage: Mamie might be a little past her prime, but the good news is she can’t get pregnant! Let’s hear it for menopause!

Hope you laughed because that was the best joke in the whole movie. Well, that and the one all-too-brief scene where a zombiefied stripper turns and blasts fire out of her hoo-ha. That was quite an image but not one that leads to anything other than a momentary WTF moment.

Big Tits Zombie, Zombie Stripper Apocalypse, whatever you want to call it, it makes OneChanbara look Kurosawa-esque by comparison.

Did I mention all these brilliant bon mots are delivered with English dubbing that so poorly synchs up with the actors everybody sounds like they speak in voiceover? There is no option for switching the audio to the original Japanese language track with English subtitles. The menu screen only comes with two options you can click on. Unfortunately, one of those options is PLAY.

Special Features

  • 2D and 3D versions, plus two pairs of 3D glasses
  • Making-of featurette

    1 out of 5

    Discuss Big Tits Zombie/Zombie Stripper Apocalypse in the comments section below!

    Get this site 100% Ad Free Support Us on Patreon!
  • Continue Reading
    Comments

    Reviews

    AHS: Cult Review – Clowns, Cults, Politics, and Peters

    Published

    on

    Starring Evan Peters, Sarah Paulson, Billie Lourd, Cheyenne Jackson, Frances Conroy, Mare Winningham, and Allison Pill

    Created by Ryan Murphy and Brad Falchuk


    ** NO SPOILERS **

    It’s here. We’ve reached the end. The newest season of “American Horror Story” has ended and now we are here to provide you guys with our season review of AHS: Cult.

    Spoiler free.

    To start things off let me say I’m not the world’s biggest fan of “American Horror Story”. It breaks down like this: I enjoyed the absolute hell out of the first season of the series (“Murder House”), couldn’t get through “Asylum” (I know, I know, I’ve tried), dug “Coven” for what it was, really enjoyed “Freak Show”, and again I couldn’t get into “Hotel” or “Roanoke”.

    That’s the story of me and “American Horror Story”. Plain And simple. But what did I think of the new seventh season of the notorious horror anthology series? Let’s find out.

    Back when the seventh season of AHS was first announced (then going by the title “AHS: Election”) I was immediately intrigued by the new season because I heard it would not include any supernatural elements. Like the fourth season, “Freak Show”.

    Now I’m a fan of ghosts and weird creature-men with drills for d*cks, don’t get me wrong. But the series has thus far relied almost exclusively on horrors of the supernatural variety (other than “Freak Show”) so this major change of pace was again welcomed by this guy.

    Instead of vampires, aliens, and witches this season relied on terrors of the mind. Psychological fears and anxieties. The horrors man does to man. Deep issues.

    Oh, and clowns. Like a lot of clowns.

    But just because this new season didn’t include anything supernatural, that doesn’t mean the 11-episode season wasn’t filled with twisted visuals and horrifically disturbing acts. No, sir. This season boasted some showstoppers including S&M, gimps, and a house of horrors that wouldn’t be out of place in a Rob Zombie flick. It was all good.

    But let’s backtrack a bit here.

    Allow me to rundown the season’s plot for those who may be unaware. “AHS: Cult” tells the tale of a world post-election night. The literal dawn of Trump’s America. In one corner we have Sarah Paulson’s soccer mom, trying to fight through life with a series of crippling phobias (including clowns, holes, blood, and being a good person).

    And in the other corner, we have Evan Peter’s angry, white (blue-haired) male, looking to seize Trump’s new position of power to bring about the end of… Actually, I want this to be a spoiler-free season review, so I’m just going to say the dude’s got big plans.

    Like Manson-size plans. Let’s leave it at that.

    With these two characters established, the new season then proceeds to send them spiraling into a collision course of political sabotage, intrigue, and clown-based nope, nope, nope-ing that can only end with one – or both – of them dead as Dillinger.

    Overall “AHS: Cult” belonged end-to-end to Mr. Evan Peters. The young actor has continued to show his striking range from season to season of Ryan Murphy’s horror show and this season was no different. Peters’ turn as not only Kai, the blue-haired leader of the titular cult, but as infamous leaders such as David Koresh, Jim Jones, and Charles Manson – to name a few – owed this season.

    I can only hope he doesn’t pull a Jessica Lange and opt-out of more AHS next year.

    Speaking of top performances, “AHS: Cult ” showcases some other chilling and memorable turns with Alison Pill’s strangely vulnerable, put-upon wife character being the best next to Peters in my eyes. This actress needs to be in more films/TV!

    Along with Pill, actress Billie Lourd killed it time and time again. The “Scream Queens” breakout star and Carrie Fisher spawn was yet again a highlight in her second Ryan Murphy series. Bet she has the starring role in next season. Mark my words.

    Add to that, the season also boasts a handful of fun cameos, including John Carroll Lynch’s return as Twisty the Clown, Emma Roberts as a bitchy reporter that will do anything to end up on top, and Lena Dunham as SCUM Manifesto writer Valerie Solanas. The cameo cast killed it and I wish they would have been present for more episodes. What are you gonna do?

    On the sour side of the season, I didn’t dig Sarah Paulson’s character. At all. But I’m sure that was the point. Right? I’m still not sure. But, boy, I wouldn’t even want to be stuck in line behind her at a Starbucks for three minutes, let alone spend the better part of this season’s 11-hours with her and her whiny bullshite. Urgh.

    That said, she pulled it out by the finale. That’s all I’ll say.

    In the end, I enjoyed this season as much as – if not more – than any other of the series. “Murder House” will still no doubt go on as my favorite season of the series, but “AHS: Cult” will rank third after season one and “Freak Show”.

    While I was on the fence about the season after three episodes, the show ended up ditching Paulson’s character (and/or shifting her arch) after a lull so the episodes picked up quickly. Whenever the season turned its focus back towards Peters (in whichever incarnation he was playing at the time) the show got better and better. Every time.

    Not a bad way to spend my Tuesday night for the past 11 weeks.

    Bring on season 12.

    • American Horror Story: Cult (2018)
    3.5

    Summary

    The seventh season of Ryan Murphy’s American Horror Story was Evan Peters’ show all the way through. The young actor pulled out all the stops time and time again to make what may have been a lackluster supernatural-free season a winner.

    Sending
    User Rating 4 (3 votes)
    Get this site 100% Ad Free Support Us on Patreon!
    Continue Reading

    News

    The Axiom Review – A Stylish and Clever Slice of Independent Horror

    Published

    on

    By

    Starring Hattie Smith, Zac Titus, Nicole Dambro

    Directed by Nicholas Woods


    The Axiom is an ambitious, well directed, impressively acted and stunningly shot independent horror film that has just a few, teensy little flaws holding it back from greatness (and therefore will have to settle for just being really, really good, instead).

    The first thing you realize when watching The Axiom is that this is a beautiful film. Everything is framed and shot in a lush and stylish manner, but one which is always tonally appropriate for the scene.

    The second thing you’ll notice, and keep noticing as the film plays out, is that the movie really struck gold with this cast. Not only is there a total lack of the sort of stilted and unnatural acting seen in countless other microbudget horror affairs, but the performances are genuinely fantastic across the board. The main characters are believably chill and relatably normal in the early scenes, and the acting remains just as impressive once things start getting a bit more… intense. It’s not often that an independent horror film has so many good performances that it makes it hard to pick the movie’s acting VIP, but that is undeniably the case here. Taylor Flowers delivers what is probably the showiest performance (and does it very well, indeed), but the entire cast really is quite good.

    The central premise of the film is both interesting and original, and touches upon the real life fact (given some recent attention in the ‘Missing 411’ books and documentary) that a lot more people sure seem to go missing out in the woods than seems reasonable, while simultaneously weaving all sorts of folklore, fairy tales and urban legends into the mix. It’s also clever in the way that it very naturally reveals aspects to the relationships between characters that serve to later – or sometimes retroactively – explain some of the more questionable decisions they make or attitudes they display. While that may sound like screenwriting 101, it’s surprising how many films fail to do this. The Axiom rewards the viewer’s attention in other ways as well, with many aspects of the movie that initially feel odd or unnatural receiving reasonable explanations (within the context of the movie) by the end. It’s not quite as challenging (or as rewarding) in this regard as, say, something like Session 9, but it does add a nice layer of complexity to the storytelling.

    The film’s score, by Leo Kaliski, is also quite good. There may be a moment here or there where the music hits an overly familiar beat, but overall it not only fits the movie’s tone, but does quite a bit to help set that tone as well.

    The only thing that I don’t feel the movie quite pulls off – and I’m trying to be vague here, because I feel like the less you know going into this film, the better – is some of the makeup effects work. The gore stuff is very well executed, but some of the other stuff feels like it was crafted with the intention of shooting it in a more… stylized manner. Instead, filmed as it is here, the result is sometimes less than impressive and can fail to make the impact that the movie seems to be implying that it should. And while some of what the makeup effects lack in execution is made up for with the ingenuity and creativity of their design, it’s still a bit of a shame when they don’t quite pull them off because, aside from a few niggles that I have with the writing, the effects are the only aspect of the film that occasionally fails to live up to the high level of technical proficiency that The Axiom otherwise demonstrates.

    ADDITIONAL THOUGHTS:

    • Man, the acting in this movie is really good. The dialogue may stumble once or twice, but these actors always sell it anyway.
    • Give back Mia Sara’s DNA, Hattie Smith!
    • If you’re going to put your female lead in shorts this small, I hope you’re not sensitive to viewers unleashing a nonstop parade of “Has anyone seen my pants / OH GOD WHERE ARE MY PANTS!” jokes.
    • “You just pop this here ‘Blair Witch Stick Person / Anarchy sign’ sticker up on that there windshield of yours, and them park rangers? Well – heh heh – they won’t bother you none, no sir.” Hmmmmm…
    • The film really is shot amazingly well – better than a lot of mainstream releases. Cinematographer Sten Olson has a real future ahead of him.
    • As does writer / director Nicholas Woods, for that matter. Any director who can get this level of quality out of their cast and crew on their first ever film is someone to keep an eye on.
    • “I’ll make a run for it and get help,” says the female lead, and I’m like “Yeah, let her go – she has no pants to weigh her down.”
    • The gore effects in the movie are both realized and utilized very well.
    • Welcome back to horror movies, “I’ll be right back” dialogue spoken unironically by and/or to ill-fated characters.
    • The Axiom
    4.0

    Summary

    In the end, The Axiom is a solid and entertaining flick that manages to wring a level of quality and originality out of the somewhat tired “Don’t Go in the Woods” horror subgenre not seen since 2012’s Cabin in the Woods. The cinematography and acting are hugely impressive, it features a nice, unnerving score, the premise is original and captivating, and the whole thing moves at a nice pace that helps keep the film’s flaws from dragging it down.

    Sending
    User Rating 3.9 (10 votes)
    Get this site 100% Ad Free Support Us on Patreon!
    Continue Reading

    Reviews

    The Dollmaker Short Film Review – Welcome to Heebie Jeebie City!

    Published

    on

    Starring Perri Lauren, Sean Meehan, Dan Berkey

    Directed by Alan Lougher


    The loss of a young child drives a mother to take a set of unusual measures to preserve his memory, and all it takes is one call to The Dollmaker.

    When the short film by Alan Lougher opens up, we see a rather disturbing image of a little boy inside a casket, and the sound of a grieving mom speaking with an unidentified man in the background – he’s requesting something personal of the child to help “finish” his product, and it’s not before long that mom has her little boy back…well, kind of. What remains of the child is the representation of his former self, although it’s contained within the frame of a not-so-attractive doll, and the boy’s father isn’t a believer in this type of hocus-pocus (or the price to have this constructed, either). The doll comes with a specific set of instructions, but most importantly, you cannot spend more than one hour a day with the doll, or else you’ll go mad thinking that the soul inside of it is actually the person that you lost – sounds reasonable, doesn’t it?

    Well this is just too good to be true for Mommy, and as the short film progresses, we’ll just have to wait and see what happens to her mind – it’s ultimately a depressing scenario, but Lougher gives it that creepy feel, almost like visiting a relative’s home and seeing their dearly departed pet stuffed and staring at you over the fireplace – HEEBIE-JEEBIE CITY, if you ask me. All in all, the quickie is gloomy, but ultimately chilling in nature, and is most definitely worth a watch, and if I might use a quote from one of my favorite films to apply to this subject matter: “Sometimes…dead is better.”

    • Film
    3.5

    Summary

    Ultimately chilling in nature!

    Sending
    User Rating 3.31 (16 votes)
    Get this site 100% Ad Free Support Us on Patreon!
    Continue Reading

    Go Ad Free!

    Support Dread Central on Patreon!

    Join the Box of Dread Mailing List

    * indicates required

    From Around the Web

    Trending