AFM: Aw, What the Hell? Conan Sales Art and Info Sheet! Crom Demands It!

Yeah, not really horror, we know, but Conan has been known to fight monsters, giant creatures, zombies, ghosts, witches, etc. Besides it's brought to us by Marcus Nispel and his power color orange!

Below you'll find the AFM info sheet and early sales art for Nispel's take on everyone's favorite barbarian. I'm seeing this one just for the possible change in dialog alone!

Conan ... what is best in life?

To remake the movies ... see them projected before you ... and to cash in on the lamentation of the fans.

Hold on to your asses, folks!

AFM: Aw, What the Hell? Conan Sales Art and Info Sheet! Crom Demands It! (click for larger image)

AFM: Aw, What the Hell? Conan Sales Art and Info Sheet! Crom Demands It! (click for larger image)

- Uncle Creepy

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The new Conan movie:

1. Stop the current production.

2. Get a Robert E. Howard expert in the same room with the scriptwriters. Have them read the books and instruct them that the Conan stories will serve as the building blocks for the movie, and nothing else.

3. Use this film as a chance to reinvent the pop cultural idea of Conan.

Look at Casino Royale. Batman Begins. Pirates of the Carribean. All of these films took dead characters, dead franchises, and dead genres and reinvigorated them by not playing it safe. Even fans of Conan the Barbarian don’t want a rehash of that. We are twenty years older now, and we need something more sophisticated. Bryan Singer learned that the hard way with Superman Returns. This can NOT be a nostalgia project.

Go to http://www.amrathelion.com/index.php/Nemedian-Chronicles/An-Appeal-To-Pa... for information!

Submitted by AmraTheLion on Wed, 11/11/2009 - 10:42am.
Gus Bjork's picture

Remember that Looney Tunes Cartoon with Daffy Duck pitching his script for the Scarlet Pumpernickle? That was more concise.

Submitted by Gus Bjork on Thu, 11/05/2009 - 11:51pm.
Rottenjesus's picture

Why the hell isn't Neil Marshall writing and directing this from John Milius's CROWN OF IRON script?

Just be prepared for tunnels under Cimmeria, people.

Submitted by Rottenjesus on Thu, 11/05/2009 - 11:21pm.
Cash Bailey's picture

Oh God, if only...

That script was amazing, if a little too heavy on the politcs. No wonder Milius went and made ROME after KING CONAN fell apart.

But I blame the folks at Paradox for this Nispel travesty. For nearly ten years, since they acquired the R.E. Howard estate, they've been talking up how they're not gonna let this become another SCORPION KING and that a new Conan movie would be faithful to Howard's work.

I don't want a rote adaptation of one of his stories. Like I said before, Milius deviated from the source material, but he had an amazing script and arguably the finest fantasy music score of all time to carry his epic along.

But this whole 'last of his kind' nonsense was done to perfection in Milius's film. But it's far away from Howard's original creation. Conan is a pirate and a crusader who has great adventures then moves on.

Do we really need to see another 'driven by revenge, he sets out to find who killed his people'.

Milius did it. it was glorious. Move on.

Submitted by Cash Bailey on Fri, 11/06/2009 - 2:40pm.
NeoKefka's picture

Conan doesn't want any more blood on his hands? Have these people ever read any of Howard's stories? Conan will kill the fuck out of you for mouthing off to him.

Submitted by NeoKefka on Thu, 11/05/2009 - 4:21pm.

Yeah, because Robert E. Howard's Conan stories have nothing to do with the original film. Sigh...Why does everyone immediately assume it's a remake? Does no one know of the source material at all?

Anyway, that poster looks very familiar. In fact, I'm pretty certain it was used before...


Ah well. We'll see how this turns out.

Submitted by Big_Bad_Wolf on Thu, 11/05/2009 - 4:10pm.
Cash Bailey's picture

Yep, they're still completely ignoring the character of Conan as R.E. Howard wrote him.

Milius did that too, but he did it with consumate skill and grace and made a classic film in CONAN THE BARBARIAN.

A ham-fisted hack like Nispel will turn this into KULL THE CONQUERER with lens flares

Submitted by Cash Bailey on Thu, 11/05/2009 - 3:50pm.
DavidFullam's picture

"A Marcus Nispel Film."

Now that's scary!

Submitted by DavidFullam on Thu, 11/05/2009 - 1:16pm.
Shambling_in_Bandages's picture

"From the director of 2003's The Texas Chainsaw Massacre and 2009's Friday the 13th...

...comes 2010's Conan, another bloody remake."

Submitted by Shambling_in_Ba... on Thu, 11/05/2009 - 10:05am.
krawlingkhaos's picture

"Conan ... what is best in life?

To remake the movies ... see them projected before you ... and to cash in on the lamentation of the fans."

Brilliant! Just Brilliant!

Seriously though, it has to be better than Conan the Destroyer

Submitted by krawlingkhaos on Thu, 11/05/2009 - 8:22am.

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