NSFW: The Ultimate Twilight Collectible? Ladies ... Meet The Vamp
August 18th, 2009
Every now and then a story comes across our desks that sends up a tiny voice balloon with the letters "WTF" floating lovingly over our heads. This is just such a moment. Since we've covered pretty much everything having to do with The Twilight Saga, it's our journalistic duty to report on -- The Vamp.
What is The Vamp, you ask? Let's just put it this way ... It can go great in any female's (or sometimes male's) moons both new and/or otherwise, and it actually sparkles in the sunlight!
From the hilarious product description:
"JUST IN TIME FOR HALLOWEEN! Who doesn't love those dark and mysterious vamps on the screen and in the books we all thumb through lustfully? That's what we thought. For those of us who fantasize about being spellbound and tantalized by the forbidden comes The Vamp. We promise this vamp won't be the only thing coming for you in the night."
Still not getting the picture? Check out the official Tantus Direct website for pictures, ordering info, and more.
If we all listen closely, we can hear the sounds of young chicks and cougars busting out their credit cards and squealing with anticipation. You just can't make this shit up sometimes!
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Sparkle and shiver in the Dread Central forums!
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We can hear the sounds of young chicks and cougars busting out their credit cards and squealing with anticipation.
Submitted by Nathanial on Thu, 11/12/2009 - 10:57am.
Ahem...
BWAH-HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!
Teenage Vampire Cock...awesome.
Submitted by Chainsaw on Wed, 08/19/2009 - 1:31am.
Co-ERECT-tion! Sparkling Teenage Vampire Cock.
Submitted by Uncle Creepy on Wed, 08/19/2009 - 2:37am.
Woooooooooooooooow.
Now they just need to mold the head to look like the various actors in the film.
Eyup.
Submitted by Tristan Sinns on Wed, 08/19/2009 - 1:06am.
Imagine a parent finding that in their daughter's dresser drawer....yeesh!
Submitted by LSD Zombie on Tue, 08/18/2009 - 6:25pm.
Or a daughter finding it in her mom's? Double yeesh!
Submitted by The Woman In Black on Tue, 08/18/2009 - 6:39pm.
You just ensured there will be dozens of bad fanfics based off that concept, thanks Deb.
Mr. Dark
Part-Time Dread Central Gaming Guy
Full-Time Freelance Smartass
Submitted by Mr. Dark on Tue, 08/18/2009 - 11:40pm.
Welp, my Christmas shopping's finished.
Submitted by Mr. Gray on Wed, 08/19/2009 - 3:17am.
The end of the world as we know it has begun...
Submitted by BoggyCreekBeast on Tue, 08/18/2009 - 5:19pm.
Indeed! It is friggin' funny though and somewhat genius. I bet you these cats make BANK!
Submitted by Uncle Creepy on Tue, 08/18/2009 - 5:23pm.